06/18/2026
Another cultural shocks happened shortly after I moved to the United States.
My husband and I were shopping at one of the Goodwill store in Philadelphia,when a man smiled, waved at me, and said, "Sister!"
I guessed he had recognized my African accent. We started talking, and sure enough, he was from Liberia.
Excited, I turned to my husband and said,
"Meet my brother!"
My husband looked confused and replied,
"I haven't met him."
In my mind, he was my brother, not by blood, but because we were both Africans living far from home, sharing similar experiences, cultures, and values.
In my husband's mind, he was simply a friendly stranger he had never met before.
That was one of my first lessons that marriage isn't just about learning another person, sometimes it's about learning an entirely different way of seeing family, community, and the world.
Later, while studying ESOL as part of my journey as an English Language Learner and educator, I learned why we saw that situation so differently.
Many African, Asian, Middle Eastern, and Latin American societies are often described as more collectivist and high-context cultures. People tend to think in terms of relationships, community, and the collective good. Family often extends beyond blood relatives, and people naturally look out for one another. Identity is often connected to family, tribe, community, religion, or social group.
For example:
• In Nigeria, it's common to call an older person "Aunty" or "Uncle" even when they aren't related to you.
• In China, Korea, and many other Asian cultures, relationships and social harmony often influence how people communicate and interact.
• In many Arab cultures, hospitality and family obligations extend well beyond the immediate household.
In contrast, many American, Canadian, Northern European, and Western European societies are often described as more individualistic and low-context cultures. People tend to place greater emphasis on personal identity, independence, self-reliance, and direct communication. Relationships are usually built through personal interactions rather than shared ethnicity, nationality, or community ties.
For example:
• In the United States, people are less likely to refer to strangers as family simply because they share a background.
• In countries like Germany or the Netherlands, communication is often more direct, and personal boundaries may be more clearly defined.
Don't get me wrong, neither approach is right or wrong, they're simply different ways of seeing the world.
One culture may ask, "How does this affect us?"
Another may ask, "How does this affect me?"
Both perspectives have strengths. One often fosters deep community support, while the other encourages independence and personal responsibility.
As someone who is a citizen of both countries, America and Nigeria, I've learned to appreciate and enjoy both ways of thinking. Every day, I find myself laughing, learning, and discovering new perspectives through marriage, motherhood, and life in two cultures.
So tell me, What's a cultural difference that surprised you when you moved to a new country, married someone from another culture, or made friends from a different background?
