Monroe County, IN Unofficial News

Monroe County, IN Unofficial News Proudly the official page for all satire news in Monroe County.

Homelessness is rising rapidly.To combat this issue, Bloomington has announced their genius plan:“We understand that thi...
09/18/2025

Homelessness is rising rapidly.
To combat this issue, Bloomington has announced their genius plan:

“We understand that this crisis is running rampant. That’s why we’ve decided to commit $5,000,000 to helping our brothers and sisters in Israel.”
-Shkaran Klashehu, Bloomington

🇮🇱🇺🇸

Is the Speed limit reduction on 46 through Ellettsville a mistake?“F**k it, go however fast you want” says an INDOT spok...
05/01/2025

Is the Speed limit reduction on 46 through Ellettsville a mistake?

“F**k it, go however fast you want” says an INDOT spokesperson. “We’ve decided to remove the speed limit entirely. You weren’t listening to it anyway.”

This comes after mixed feelings from many Ellettsville residents.

“The 35MPH speed limit made it much easier to stay in the lines after a long night of drinking at Kenny’s Tavern.” Said one individual when asked how he felt on the matter.
“The speed limit isn’t 55?” Said everyone elsee.

🚨ICE VISITING BLOOMINGTON🚨An anonymous official within ICE gave us this exclusive statement regarding a possible visit t...
04/30/2025

🚨ICE VISITING BLOOMINGTON🚨

An anonymous official within ICE gave us this exclusive statement regarding a possible visit to our county:
“Bloomington, we have a quota to meet. So snitch on your neighbors and coworkers. If they’re not white enough for your comfort, we’re here to help!”

Remember, if President Trump says something is okay, we should listen to him. It’s not like we elected a convicted felon who would violate people’s constitutional rights to get his way.

Due to a little bit of rain, Bloomington protestors are excused from caring about Palestine.Activities will resume the n...
04/25/2025

Due to a little bit of rain, Bloomington protestors are excused from caring about Palestine.
Activities will resume the next time there are no minor inconveniences for anyone.

Multiple reports of shark sightings have come in across Monroe county.Out experts are working hard to verify the validit...
04/07/2025

Multiple reports of shark sightings have come in across Monroe county.
Out experts are working hard to verify the validity of these claims. But we can confidently say at this time that they are definitely, possibly, probably true.

04/06/2025

🚨Breaking News🚨
Due to recent events involving protests of,
Tesla and the Trump administration, Tesla ownership rates are down 100% and all our problems have been solved!

Please, continue to make everyone’s day worse who has something better to do!
That’s change. The American way!

03/31/2025

‼️ It’s true ‼️
INDOT will be lowering the speed of Highway 46 through Ellettsville from 45 to 35.

Please, leave your professional opinions in the comments below!
This page has 3 followers, so it’s perfect for the least amount of people possible to see what you have to say.

03/23/2025

Our law enforcement agencies are hard at work protecting us! To ensure we don’t waste their time, please remember the speed limit laws.

-Left lane on highway is for passing. 45MPH still means 45MPH in both lanes!
-City road speed limits could be as low as 20MPH. Watch those signs!
-The speed limit on backroads is however fast you can go while also safely drinking your beer.

🚨IMPORTANT🚨New advisory for those wondering about the road quality. This advisory states as follows-”A trip to Circle-K ...
01/10/2025

🚨IMPORTANT🚨

New advisory for those wondering about the road quality. This advisory states as follows-

”A trip to Circle-K for a pack of Newports is not a good reason to drive in this weather. If you have to ask if the roads are okay, you probably need to stay home.”

Stay safe out there!

09/19/2024

Welcome all residents of our beautiful county!
To stay up to date on all that is happening in our county, follow Munroe County, IN Official News.

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