Heather Has Houseplants

11/20/2025

Behold: my toxic relationship era. Featuring… alocasia 🙃
I know, I know… “Heather hates alocasia.” And yet here I am, raw-dogging trauma and giving them another chance.

Yes, we have beef.
But apparently I’m the bigger person because LOOK AT ME TRYING 😅

I guess I just love emotional damage 🫠

If these die, mind your business. If they live, call me Mother Alocasia. There is no in-between.

What’s your toxic plant relationship? I can’t be the only one 😅
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11/19/2025

Unsolicited plant advice you didn’t ask for but absolutely needed. 🌱
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11/05/2025

“I’d follow her into every burning building just to see what she writes on the walls.”

🪴 Philodendron El Choco x Billietiae 😈 finally showing me some variegation
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10/26/2025

Every “cute” plant photo has at least 10 awkward outtakes behind it 😅

Don’t know what to do with my hands
Don’t know what to do with my face
But we both survived mealies so who’s really winning? 💁🏻‍♀️

🪴 Philodendron Aurea Micans
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10/23/2025

I just have one quick question…

Wtf do you even do with this thing? 😅

🪴 Alocasia Longiloba
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10/22/2025

No one warned me about this one 😅

I was so stoked to add this wishlist plant to my collection but I wasn’t prepared for the anxiety 😂

I already broke a new leaf off of it and I’m pretty sure I did that by just looking at it the wrong way 🙃

🪴 Anthurium Waroqueanum Dark & Narrow
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10/19/2025

10/15/2025

Another baby that needs to go on the feed so I can look back on it and see how much it’s grown later 😍

I already have a Variegated Philodendron Gloriosum Type 2 in my collection, but it reverted. Still on a mission to get it to unrevert, but my hope is that one day this one and my bigger one can be in a pot together!

Now to get my hands on a Type 1 😈
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10/12/2025

Tried to serve Blue Steel…ended up serving mild claustrophobia ☠️

Thought I was being funny doing the plant version of Zoolander, but wrapping my Philodendron Brasil around my neck turned out to be less “fashion” and more “fight or flight.” 😅🫠

She’s officially long enough to double as a scarf…which seemed like a fun idea until I realized I’d actually wrapped myself into a panic attack 😂😅🙃 fml.

Not pictured: me hyperventilating trying to get this thing untangled from around my neck 😅
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10/10/2025

Welp, woulda been cooler if I took pics in this tee with my Monstera Albo 🤦🏻‍♀️

🪴 Syngonium Variegated Batik AKA another plant I should prob chop and prop 😅 weigh in with your thoughts below since apparently I don’t have the courage to do it until y’all tell me to 😂
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