09/11/2025
My feed is heavy today, which is not surprising. It’s 9/11, and just one day after deadly reverberations of gun violence in Utah and my home state of Colorado.
I am no stranger to violence. In June 2001, my sorority sister Shannon was murdered, a tragedy that inspired me to launch Girls Fight Back. Just a few months later on 9/11, I had just begun my daily commute to the World Trade Center when the first airplane hit.
Here’s what I’ve learned: Rage is real. Sometimes it’s necessary. And when channeled with intention, it can become fuel for change.
For years, I thought anger meant I was broken. That despair couldn’t coexist with hope. That it has to be grief OR optimism, anger OR compassion, us OR them.
The truth is, it’s both. It’s AND.
I rage at the existence of violence in our world,
AND I rage at policies and rhetoric that strip people of their humanity,
AND I rage that so much of our energy gets spent fighting each other instead of solving real problems.
Rage itself is not the enemy. Misplaced rage is. Silenced rage is. When rage has no outlet, it festers — and that’s what erupts into the violence we’re trying to prevent.
So if you’re feeling big feelings today, good. Feel them. Then channel them into something that makes the world better. Your community, your vote, your art, your relationships, your voice.
Using AND doesn’t mean excusing harm. It means allowing ourselves to hold anger and grief, while also choosing to act with purpose.
The joy and pain of being human is the capacity to experience “all the things.” We don’t have to choose between grief OR hope, fury OR love. We can resist AND build. We can cry AND create.
The word AND has kept me sane. It might keep us human too.
