25/09/2024
28 people stuffed in a tiny 1BR in Bed Stuy.
To celebrate my birthday, but also a 9-month late house warming.
When I first started dreaming up the perfect birthday party a month ago, my first concept was to rent out a trolley and do a tour of my favorite haunts around NYC—all the places I’ve come to know and love in my past 2 years here.
But things fell through with the trolley company, and I went back to the drawing board, frustrated.
One day, as I was meditating, a barrage of ideas started coming to mind. As I attempted to “focus on my breathing”, the ideas kept flowing. I finally gave up on the meditation and started writing them down.
A month ago, I wasn’t sure how I’d be able to pull this birthday party off. It involved many things I’d never done before—playing guitar while singing, putting together a band, leading a guided breathwork and inner child meditation, and squeezing nearly 30 people into my apartment.
The weeks turned into days, which turned to hours, and suddenly the day was upon us. And it went better than I could have imagined.
My intent was to let my community in to my healing journey of th past 90 days. Abiding to some strict rules (no drinking, s*x, and minimal dating), I was in what I called “monk mode. And it led to a transformation I never would have expected.
During this period, I lost people in my life that I thought would choose to be by my side forever But the grief that overwhelmed me became a catalyst to my healing. I learned to wake up and fill my eyes with sunlight first thing in the morning, to let out my nonsensical grief on the written page, to do silly things with no other reason except to make my inner child happy. I started a memoir. Asked strangers for cash in WSP so I could learn to better face rejection. Started tuning in to my intuition, singing to release, and allowed myself to step into the spotlight with fear in my heart, but doing it anyway.
Feelings: Overwhelming gratitude, peace, warmth, and certainty. Certainty that I’m finally on the right path. Surrounded by my people. Surrounded by love.
Thank you to all who walked with me when I was brokenhearted—I’m forever grateful. You know who you are🫶
