Northwoods Phil

06/19/2026

06/16/2026

And that boys and girls is why I stick to hunting whitetails.

06/09/2026

Pretty accurate in my experience

06/08/2026

An Irish priest was transferred to Texas.
Father O’Malley rose from his bed one morning.
It was a fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish.
He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside.
He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.
He promptly called the local police station.
The conversation went like this:
“Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?”
“And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O’Malley at St. Ann’s Catholic Church. There’s a jackass lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple of o’yer lads to take care of the matter?”
Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the foreign accent, though he would have a little fun with the good father, replied,
“Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!”
There was dead silence on the line for a long moment…….
Father O’Malley then replied:
“Aye, ’tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call.”

06/07/2026

The Devil whispered in my ear,"You're not strong enough to withstand the storm." I whispered back, "At least I didn't lose my golden fiddle to some hillbilly in Georgia."

04/22/2026

I give up when they don’t know where Minneapolis and St Paul are

03/27/2026

Found my spirit animal

03/05/2026

i knew something was wrong when my gym teacher was fat, my economics teacher wasn't rich but my shop teacher could weld.

02/17/2026

Wisconsin would easily carry team 6.