09/04/2024
Sit down. Itās long-winded. Itās me. I canāt tell a short story.
Iām sick.
There.
I said it.
Iāve been running this post in my head for months. Today, I had to pull out this massive amount of drugs from my drawer to refill my daily medication box. Wanna be even more shocked? This isnāt even all of what I take every single day. I take over 30 shots over a 3-month cycle; Iām a pin cushion and a pill popper.
I have been on most of these meds since 2008āalmost 20 years now. Iām great at hiding them. For years, I was so embarrassed to go overnight to places, fearing that people would think poorly of me because of the confetti of daily medications that keep me out of my bed.
In 2009, I had to quit work because I honestly couldnāt make it through an entire day. I was on Humira and Methotrexate, tons of migraine meds, and if I could get out of bed, it was going to be a good day. Those good days were slimāI mean, like 8 good days out of a calendar month. I did a wonderful job pretending I was fine, but I knew my days on earth were numbered if I couldnāt get proper help. After numerous trips to specialists and professors at UCLA, they finally gave me a diagnosis. It was bad, but I knew it was going to be. It wasnāt the C-word, but it was a wheelchair and minimal quality of life until my last breath. I began to have suicidal ideations. I didnāt want my husband to have a lifeless, handicapped wife. I was not okay. I couldnāt work. I couldnāt drive myself to the grocery store most days. I spent my days alone and my nights scared that I would be a hindrance to my family.
We moved to DC, and I was able to become a patient at Walter Reed Medical Center. They were my answered prayer. Between them and the Rheumatology Professors at UCLA, they put together this medication plan, and I started seeing the light again. Medication has kept me out of bed, in the garden, and playing with my little blessings.
The long walk around this post doesnāt even relate to why Iām writing this, but I wanted you to understand the depth of who I am and how I deal with it daily.
This post has been running around my head for months because of three little letters: MLM. My heart hurts because this is my job. This is my rendition of you going to work every day. I work hard, offer so much personal support, and spend hours and hours investing in research. I research everything to make ME feel better. When I feel better, I share it with yāall. Thatās all. If you knew the hundreds of products Iāve tried to better my daily life, you would be blown away because I only talk about what has worked for me. It has become my passion, my lifeline, my way to get out of bed. Itās become my career. It works for me. I know it doesnāt work for everyone, but there are those of us who canāt go to a physical location. Some of us are stay-at-home moms because daycare costs MORE than some people make for an income. I know a woman who is agoraphobic and has a beautiful, working, self-esteem-boosting business without ever leaving home. Some of us are men because... why not? Some of us are grandmas who spend our days with our grandkids and work at night. Some of us do it for fun (GASP!). Some work this business purely to make new friends and build new communities. I could go on and on, but what I canāt do is tell you that itās a pyramid scheme.
Iām hearing people say the most disgusting things about direct sales. It hurts my heart. People just assume, based on rumors from 30 years ago that have persisted, that direct sales are sleazy, gross, and pyramid schemes.
Over the past month, Iāve had people actually say to me:
āIf youāre selling from an MLM, Iām out.ā
āAre you really working for a pyramid scheme?ā
āIād love to try that, but I see itās one of those scheme companies.ā
āHave you found yourself being ripped off?ā
āDo you have a ton of extra inventory?ā
āHow much do you have to pay them to work for them?ā
āSo youāre in the business of stealing from people to make more money?ā
After hearing these quotes, I just stop and stare at the audacity of the words coming out of peopleās mouths. It hurts my soul because, in all of those accusations, I lie in the middle. Are you saying that I run pyramid schemes? That I have stolen from friends and family? That someone is stealing from me? That Iāve made such a poor choice in my career that Iām dumb or gullible?
I realize this is long and drawn out. Iām not one to tell a quick story. This has been
so heavy on my heart for months, and details matter. These words break me. They make me want to shake people and say, āNone of this is true!ā but itās just not worth being defensive to people who have already made up their minds.
I love this job. I love that it worked so well for me. I think God was like, āHere, lovebug, Iāve got something that will bring a new light to your life, boost your confidence and self-esteem, and bless your family. I know this isnāt anything you ever thought you would do, but I promise itās a part of my plan for you, Sonja. I want you to jump in with both feet and watch how I bless you with my plans.ā
Having a God-breathed plan that is working is what keeps me going. Words of strangers are like sticks. They burn in a fire. God is like a rock. He withstands the wind, the fire, and the quakes.
If youāre still here, I want to say thank you. I know youāre one of those people who have stuck with me through the fires, winds, and quakes. You are the ones who support my wild dreams. You are the ones I pray to God and say thank you for.
And if you are one of those people who can hear themselves saying any of those quotes from above, I would love to chat. I promise that I would never participate in anything that hurts myself, my family, or others. I just wouldnāt. I would love to change your mind. If nothing else, Iād love to ask you to seek first to understand, then to be understood. Whether you wake up in the morning and drive to work, pop open your computer to work from home, or turn your phoneās first light on to work on a seven-inch screen, I promise I will do anything I can to support you.
Thank you for letting me write a novel and for sticking with it! I really do love the majority of you. LOL, the rest of you are welcome to walk away. I give you permission. No harm. No foul. Be blessed.
