01/08/2026
My Husband Joked He Wanted a āHotā Babysitter, and I AgreedāBut When the Door Opened, His Face Turned White
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My husband was grinning ear to ear when I told him the new babysitter was on her way, until the doorbell rang and he saw who was actually standing there. He never guessed Iād been planning this for weeks⦠and his own careless joke was about to hit him square in the face.
Hi, Iām Rory. Thirty-two, living in a quiet Illinois suburb with my husband Damon and our three-year-old twins, Bonnie and Sawyer. From the outside everything probably looked peaceful. Inside, I was the one holding every single piece together while Damon disappeared into his gaming cave the second he got home.
Heād walk through the door around dinner, scoop Sawyer up for a quick airplane ride, plant a kiss on Bonnieās curls, then vanish behind a closed door glowing blue from the screens. That left me with the rest of the day: meals, meltdowns, laundry that never ended, doctor visits, grocery runs, bedtime battles, the whole beautiful, exhausting circus. I hadnāt had thirty seconds alone in the bathroom since 2021.
And still, somehow, I was the one who ālooked tired all the time.ā
Everything shifted one evening last month.
The twins were finally asleep. I was folding yet another load of tiny clothes when Damonās text popped up:
Having the guys over tonight for beers. Can you throw together something decent so I donāt look cheap?
No please. No warning. Just an order, like I was staff.
I stared at the screen, thumb hovering, ready to fire back something sharp. Instead I took a slow breath, smiled to myself, and decided to play along.
That night I roasted a whole chicken until the skin was golden and crackling, made real garlic mashed potatoes, put together two different salads, set out chips and homemade salsa. The house smelled like a holiday when his friends arrived.
I greeted them warmly, helped wrangle Sawyer away from the doorway, then took both kids upstairs for bath and books. The baby monitor stayed on downstairs.
At first it was just the usual guy talk, clinking bottles, loud laughs about fantasy football. Then Brianās voice drifted up:
āSo whenās Rory going back to work? You guys thinking about a sitter?ā
There was a pause. Then Damon, relaxed, laughing already:
āGod, I hope soon. Iām tired of being the only one paying for everything. Weāll definitely get a sitter. Hopefully a hot one, you know? Iām a big fan of aesthetics.ā
The room roared. He laughed loudest of all.
I stood in the hallway upstairs, toothbrush still in Bonnieās mouth, feeling the words sink straight into my chest like ice water. It wasnāt rage yet. It was something colder: the sting of being reduced to a punchline in my own house.
I didnāt bring it up the next morning. Or the morning after that.
But the sentence played on repeat in my head for days.
A week later I slid into the kitchen while he was eating cereal and said, as casually as if I were asking about the weather,
āIāve been thinking⦠Iām ready to go back to work. The kids are three now. We should probably start looking for a babysitter.ā
His spoon froze halfway to his mouth. His whole face lit up like Iād just handed him a winning lottery ticket.
āSeriously? Thatās great!ā
I smiled over my coffee. āWeāll need someone responsible, experienced⦠and good-looking, right? You were pretty specific about aesthetics.ā
He nearly choked on his cereal, then recovered fast, eyes gleaming.
āLeave it to me. I know exactly what we need.ā
For the next several days he was on babysitting sites every free second, sending me profiles of twenty-something yoga teachers and āholistic-play specialistsā whose photos looked like they belonged on magazine covers. Every message ended with a winking emoji.
I let him keep digging.
Thursday afternoon I made a couple of quiet phone calls and lined everything up.
That evening I texted him:
Found the perfect one. Coming tomorrow at four. Youāre going to love this. Exactly your type.
His reply was instant:
Canāt wait Only the best for our family.
Friday he came home an hour early, something that hadnāt happened since the twins were born. Walked in wearing the cologne he saves for date nights, hair actually styled, deep-blue shirt that makes his eyes look bluer, jeans that fit. He was trying, hard.
I folded laundry in the living room and pretended not to notice.
The doorbell rang right on time.
I opened it with the calmest smile Iād worn in years.
There stood Wallace...(continue reading in the 1st comment)