02/17/2022
If you’re a writer trying to write everyday or an artist trying to paint everyday
There are probably days you miss a day
You may think thoughts like:
•You keep making excuses
•You cheated
•You don’t keep promises to yourself
These thoughts may seem helpful.
We get to believing that if we beat ourselves up a little or point out how we are doing everything wrong
It will make us do better.
The truth is,
Telling yourself you keep making excuses or you cheated or you don’t keep promises to yourself makes you feel:
Defeated
Wrong
Bad
Discouraged
Hopeless
Anytime we feel these types of emotions they make us do exactly the opposite of what we think these thoughts are going to do.
I see it again and again with my clients.
When you think you’re a cheater you feel embarrassed.
When you feel embarrassed you watch TV, read a book, ignore your writing or painting, you forget that you have fun writing, you forget that even 10 min is good enough, you judge yourself, you get even more perfectionist if about how you need to show up to your writing, you judge your ideas and process.
You end up cheating yourself out of something you actually enjoy.
This is what you can do:
1. Let yourself see yourself in this moment. Be kind. Notice how your thought that you cheated yourself is making you feel embarrassed.
Extend empathy and tell yourself, “of course you’re feeling embarrassed…it’s a natural human reaction to feel that way when you’re told you’re cheating. It’s okay. I’m here for you.”
2. I know taking this approach may feel clunky and weird. You may even think that you’re encouraging yourself to keep cheating. What actually happens is that you’ll feel seen, understood, not judged.
3. From this place of kindness and understanding, how would you like to feel when you miss a day of writing?
Maybe you want to feel empathy. If you were feeling empathy you might be thinking:
I see what you’re going through.
From this place of empathy you might give yourself grace and at the same time remind yourself you have options.
You could make a plan that you’ll always write for a minimum of five minutes even if you’re already in bed at night.
You’ll keep a book by your bed so that even at the end of the day you won’t miss.
Or maybe you decide you’re going to keep a book by your bed so that each morning right when you wake up you’re going to write for 5 min.
Possibly, you decide you’ll always have a floor of writing one paragraph or five minutes.
Your ceiling could be writing an hour everyday.
Most days will fall somewhere in between.
You end up creating space for you to write everyday without thinking you’re being a cheater.
You allow for your humanness.
You’re excited to write.
You don’t get stuck trying to live up to a standard you created that you don’t even like.
Surprisingly, this kindness encourages rather than discourages a regular practice of writing.
My clients end up having more fun as an artist and writer.
They feel more inspired and look forward to their characters and canvases.
If you’d like to stop feeling like you’re cheating yourself, sabotaging your efforts, making excuses, and breaking promises to yourself…
There’s an easier, kinder Warrior way to live the life of your dreams.
I know exactly what’s next and how to help you.
DM me. 📩
