10/24/2025
On the 2nd anniversary of my Grave's Diagnosis, I want to share some thoughts:
It took me 34 years to admit to myself that we went through a bout of homelessness when I was young (it doesn't always look like it does in the movies) and that it was traumatic.
To me, we were just poor.
โBoo hoo, lots of people grow up poor.โ
โBeing poor builds grit!โ
โIโm fine.โ
Until my body couldnโt keep the score on my trauma anymore, and I almost died in 2023.
Since ADHDers have trouble with interoception (bodily senses), I didnโt know how close I was to death until I was better.
Itโs funny how I have flipped out over the smallest things my whole life, but
๐๐ป the urgent phone call from my doctor
๐๐ป after seeing off-the-charts thyroid and liver enzyme levels
๐๐ป didnโt feel like it should register as that big a deal
Until nearly 8 months later, when a nurse friend told me I was lucky to be alive,
I had no idea.
(As you see in the shared post, I was rattled and didn't think I should have been.)
Not knowing and acknowledging the heaviness of poverty and the symptoms of quickly moving towards death are both examples of how many ADHDers move through life thinking nothing they do or go through is enough, let alone a big deal.
- This is how we devalue our experiences.
- This is how we dim our own light.
- This is how we burn out.
- This is how we die.
โโโโ-
October is ADHD Awareness Month.
This lack of self-worth and self-care has consequences.
ADHDers
๐ง have higher rates of burnout
๐ง have higher risks of autoimmune disease
๐ง experience higher rates of suicidal ideation
๐ง are more prone to addiction and eating disorders
โโโโ-
If you know someone with ADHD, pay attention, donโt wait for them to ask for help.
They likely wonโt.
Mostly because they donโt know they need it.
No matter where you go, there you'll be.
October 25, 2023, the day I was diagnosed with Graves Disease. I've been missing from the scene for a few weeks because I was overwhelmed at first with the directive to go off all supplements and meds to get a clean test for it. Then with the likelihood of and subsequent diagnosis of it, which still hit me like a ton of bricks.
This diagnosis has been on the back burner for almost a year. I didn't want to believe it, so I told myself that my November labs were so minor I could control where this thing ended up. My theory was that by quitting my stressful job, which likely triggered it in the first place, and beginning to work on my calling (coaching), it would naturally just resolve once the stress was removed. Note: don't run from something like this, it will get worse.
The funny thing about life is no matter where you go, there you'll be. And I was a girl with a biological predisposition for Thyroid disease and there was no way to un-trigger a fired bullet.
So last week I soaked in my own tears about what the diagnosis meant and then beat myself up for "making such a big deal" out of a very treatable disease. I learned in this process that it's okay to feel that the weight of something is a ton to you when it's only 10 lbs to someone else. It's okay to feel like your entire identity changed with one phone call. Feelings are important and they must be processed. But, feelings are not actual circumstances, and being a "sick person" is not my identity.
Tackling those feelings and not running from them has allowed me to revive instead of burnout; to learn instead of punishing myself; to talk about it openly so I can have a chance to help others.
I would like to encourage you, no matter what you are dealing with. If something feels heavy, let it in so you can let it out. Don't run or busy yourself with other things in order to hide. Sit in the feeling and name the feeling to tame it so you can move through life with less burden.
Remember, no matter where you go (hide), there you'll be.
I hope this is helpful to you!
Thank you Mariana Linck for your encouragement to share!
