Plants, Puns & Panic

Plants, Puns & Panic 🌿 Messy garden. Messier life.
😂 Plant memes, panic spirals, and way too much mulch.
🪴 Growing weeds and emotional baggage since… probably forever. (Seriously.)

Follow Petunia for laughs, not gardening advice.

08/14/2025
08/14/2025

🌾 "The garden grows what I allow. And I don’t allow weakness." —Petunia

08/14/2025

🌱 "Germinate fast. I don’t babysit potential."
—Petunia

08/14/2025

“Ask Petunia”
Q: My basil died. What should I do?
A: Bury it with your expectations.
Light a candle. Move on.

08/14/2025

“No, the plant isn’t being ‘dramatic.’ It’s dying. There’s a difference.”

“Compost everything. Especially the drama.”
08/13/2025

“Compost everything. Especially the drama.”

08/13/2025

🌻 "Around here, the tall flowers stand watch. And sometimes... guard." —Petunia

08/13/2025

🌻 "I don’t pick favorites. The plants choose their own fate. I just enforce it."
—Petunia

08/13/2025

Some people want love.
I just want someone who’ll admire my compost bin and not question my pruning rage.
💘🌿

08/13/2025

I garden for peace.
I stay for the rage weeding.
Nothing like pulling dandelions to release the demons.

08/12/2025

🍂 "What you call yard waste, I call evidence." —Petunia

08/12/2025

🪓 "If you hear the snip of my shears, it's already too late to pretend you're thriving." —Petunia

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Chicago, IL

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