02/09/2026
BARBIE THE ZOMBIE
Preorder on Amazon: https://a.co/d/0bZ0p7tE
My name is Barbara.
I go by B.
The world calls me Barbie the Zombie, and honestly, thatโs not even the strangest part.
This is my side of the story.
It starts with a wrinkle. Just one. The kind you notice under the wrong lighting and pretend isnโt there. Unfortunately for me, my mother runs a beauty empire. Unfortunately for everyone else, I knew about the top-secret formula her company was developing, but didn't know it wasn't ready for consumption.
I drank it.
I died.
I was buried.
And then I woke up.
Breaking out of your own grave really puts things into perspective.
Now Iโm undead. An indestructible debutante who gets triggered into full zombie mode by one very specific thing: stupid people. I donโt hunt. I donโt kill. I just chomp at the brain a little, but only when provoked.
This book is my account of how it all happened. The boyfriend who turned on me, the besties who didnโt, my public enemy number one, Daddy & Mother, the panic, the media nonsense, and that monumental moment I took a brain chomp out of the Presidentโs brain. (That part really complicated things.)
And oh yes, let's unravel why I'm triggered by stupid and how some people should really know better.
These days, Iโm technically under house arrest in Daddyโs mansion. Mutual agreement. When nothing can kill you, people get a little fear-crazy. Especially the many who have tried coming at me with pitchforks, fire, profanity-filled threats, various weapons, and shame-based psycho babble. None of it hurts me, physically or emotionally.
So this is me, setting the record straight.
What I am.
What Iโm not.
What actually happened.
Also, I'm not the one to fear. After all, stupid is dangerous, with or without me.
www.BarvietheZombie.com
the zombie