08/19/2026
Gm Mom, hyd? I'm alive so I'm blessed. My foot feels horrible. I swear something is trying come out of it from the inside. I know I complain all the time but this pain is a new experience. I had thought I already defeated that level in my life. I assumed if I hadn't defeated it? Then, I at least had learned to mask it or just learn to block it out partially. This pain isn't going anywhere at all!!! There is no blocking it out, no masking it or defeating it on any level. Its just there rearing its ugly head and screaming so loud at me. "HURT, PAIN, AGONIZING PAIN, HURT!!!" Then I'm asking it "what have I done to you? Why do you want to hurt me so horribly?" I get no answer just a mild break from the mild pain reliever I have no choice but to consume. An internal scream of agony as if it monster sympathizes with me.. Then as soon as I think I've accomplished some form of defeat. Its back worse than before. It hides itself inside my foot. Its got to be intimidated BC it won't ever look me straight in the eyes. It just hides than jumps up screaming, yelling, hollering "your going to feel me if its the last feeling you ever feel." I have to succumb to its intensity BC there is no other option. But then I beg it to stop. " PLEASE JUST STOP I'll DO ANYTHING IF YOU JUST STOP PLEASE!!!"
I love you Mom. I have no idea how I'd make it with out by out. If I wasn't for you I'd give up!!! I'm just tired of these feeling & no one caring!!!
Jimmy asked me to post.
July 27th, 2026 round trip to OSU to place a PICC line comes back with an Mediport instead. Today he is having biopsies on lymp nodes. As of now No treatment or Infusion have been scheduled. Comfort care not working anymore. His foot is Split Open and still Expanding, and Necrosis has set in. Please to continue to 🙏 for my son, Jimmie Babineau.