11/30/2025
TBCNews – Reported by the Always-Unbiased-Except-When-I’m-Not, Mike Glove
December 27th, 2025, is creeping up faster than Buttons Only’s consciousness after today’s sparring session.
🥊 Tantalus King Sends Buttons Only to Nap Time: Gym Turns Into Daycare Centre
Hello fight fans, combat connoisseurs, and lovers of unintentional comedy!
It’s your #1 source for all things fists, footwork, and fighter foolery—Mike Glove—coming to you straight from the Tantalus Boxing Club, where the sweat is real and so are the naps.
Today’s headline practically wrote itself:
“Buttons Only Put to Sleep in the Corner Like a Misbehaved Child… Without the Bedtime Story.”
Yes, you read that right. While most gyms play music, today’s soundtrack was THUD—silence—concerned mumbling.
🥇 Tantalus King: The Road to Redemption (And Apparently Babysitting)
If you haven’t kept your ear to the ring canvas lately, Tantalus King has been on a mission. Ever since his loss to Estevan Da Leo—a man whose punches apparently come with their own ZIP code—Tantalus has sworn a solemn oath: train, improve, repeat. And boy, has he delivered.
He’s been in the gym so much that the staff are considering charging him rent. Last week, he tried to shadowbox the vending machine because it “looked at him funny.” You know that hunger? That drive? That borderline concerning obsession good fighters have?
Yep. He’s got it.
His new motto seems to be:
“If it moves, I’ll spar it. If it breathes, I’ll outwork it. If it stands still, I’ll jab it just in case.”
🧵 Buttons Only: A Stylish Fighter… With an Off Switch
Let’s talk about today’s brave (or wildly misinformed) volunteer: Buttons Only.
A fighter known more for fashion sense than defence, Buttons stepped into the ring confident—unfortunately. And as all great boxing tragedies begin, it started with someone saying:
“Yeah, I think I can handle it.”
The footage shows Buttons Only gliding across the ring early on, landing a cute little jab here, a stylish shuffle there. But Tantalus King—focused, locked in, and powered by the eternal flame of revenge cardio—was not in the mood.
By Round 2, Tantalus started pressing like he was late for work.
By Round 3—well, that’s when The Event happened.
Let’s put it gently:
Buttons Only was peacefully escorted by Tantalus King’s right hook into the land of temporary dreams.
One moment, he was upright, the next, he was curled in the corner like a toddler who skipped nap time and finally paid the price. Trainers rushed over, but honestly, he looked comfortable. Cosy even.
If they had dimmed the lights and added a lullaby, the scene would've been perfect.
🎮 Tantalus Boxing Club Creative Fighter Beta Launch: December Is About to Be Dangerous
All of this chaos couldn’t come at a better time, because the Tantalus Boxing Club Creative Fighter beta is launching this December—and if today’s gym war is anything to go by, the competition is going to be hotter than Tantalus King’s knuckles.
Fans are already buzzing:
Will Tantalus dominate the creative fighter scene?
Will Buttons Only be cleared by medical to return to consciousness by launch day?
Will someone please childproof the corners of the ring?
Stay tuned. We’re expecting fireworks, rivalries, and possibly a few more unexpected naps courtesy of Tantalus King’s fists.
🎤 Final Thoughts from Mike Glove (Because I Love Hearing Myself Talk)
Fight fans, mark your calendars, hydrate your excitement, and—if you’re a sparring partner—maybe invest in a helmet that comes with Wi-Fi.
December 27th is shaping up to be an explosive day, and if today was just a warm-up, then Tantalus King might just be cooking up a comeback story worthy of the big bright lights he dreams of.
Buttons Only?
Well… let’s just hope he wakes up in time to read this blog.
Stay tuned to TBCNews, where the punches are heavy, but the sarcasm?
Even heavier.
— Mike Glove, signing off before Tantalus decides I need “just a little sparring” too.