Armonia Maxima

04/09/2024

I had a great morning as a guest on WOSU’s flagship public affairs talk show, “All Sides with Anna Staver.” I joined Nikki the Death Doula, LLC, a friend and exceptional end-of-life doula also living in Columbus, Ohio. We had a great discussion, after which I realized I was holding my late father in my heart the whole time. He listened to WOSU (The Columbus, Ohio, NPR station) whenever he had the chance, and would have been so proud. The show also streams as a podcast. You can listen to it here.

This hour we’ll discuss the services provided by end-of-life doulas and answer questions about death doulas and death cafes.

03/25/2024

Wednesday, March 27th, at 6:00 PM Eastern, everyone is welcome to attend this virtual event hosted by my friend and colleague Matilda Garrido! This free program will highlight the wisdom and experience of three end-of-life doulas, including two of our friends and coworkers, Diane Button and Angela Shook.

Register in advance at this link: https://merchantshouse.org/calendar/reservations/ #!/March-27-6-p-m-Ask-a-Death-Doula-VIRTUAL-PROGRAM/p/624737953/category=1651948

Join us for the next in our new virtual program series "Ask A..." where thanatologist Matilda Garrido interviews those working today in the field of death & dying.

Next Wednesday, in "Ask A ... Death Doula," Matilda will interview End of Life Doulas Diane Button, Angela Shook, and Gabby Jimenez, authors of "The Doula Toolkit."

In the 19th century, the dying were cared for at home by family, friends, and servants. As we move into the 21st century, we are seeing a desire to return to these practices of compassionate care in the rise of the End of Life Doula profession. What is an End of Life Doula? Should you use one? Bring your questions!

The program is free, and will be recorded. Register at https://merchantshouse.org/calendar/reservations/ #!/March-27-6-p-m-Ask-a-Death-Doula-VIRTUAL-PROGRAM/p/624737953/category=1651948

03/25/2024

Greg, an end-of-life doula living in Columbus, Ohio, shares that before he meets a client he clear's his head. "For me, that involves acknowledging all the stressful things that might be going on in my life. I spend a little time worrying about that upcoming doctor’s appointment or my increasing car insurance premium. That might seem counterintuitive, but I’ve found if I don’t acknowledge all that and set it aside, it might creep in when I’m with a client."

Greg continues, "I think about all the people I’ve lost (not just clients, but loved ones), and I remind myself that this person’s journey isn’t going to be like any of theirs. I remind myself that I’m not going to offer any solutions or fix anything during this first meeting. I’m going to listen, and I’m going to validate their concerns, worries, and joys. Then I silence my phone, and walk in empty-handed. I leave my doula bag in my car."

Read Greg's words of encouragement for fellow doulas and more from our Q&A with Greg on our website here https://bit.ly/3Tc9ubW

03/14/2024

I'm so grateful to the International End of Life Doula Association (INELDA) for interviewing me for their Spring Newsletter's doula profile. Their thoughtful questions allowed me to share so much of my life history and how it has shaped my approach to supporting dying people and their families. As an end-of-life doula, before meeting with a client I set an intention to honor the whole person. It feels great to be on the receiving end of such an intention! It was a joy to discuss not just my doula work, but also to reflect on the roles played in my life by music, cab driving, improv comedy at The Nest Theatre, my dear friends Lisa and Rebecca, and the Columbus Crew.

I answered these questions before I embarked on my new journey as Family Service Coordinator at Lifeline of Ohio. Serving in this incredibly meaningful new role has only strengthened my understanding that the biggest gift we can give those in our communities who are living through loss is our full, complete, compassionate presence.

Greg is an end-of-life doula living in Columbus, Ohio. In his private doula practice, Armonia Maxima, LLC, he particularly welcomes opportunities to meet

11/30/2023

Angela Shook is a dear friend and colleague. She offers in-person support to the dying (humans and companion animals) in Northern Michigan. I recommend her services without hesitation to anyone living through a tough loss. If you know people in Northern Michigan, I encourage you to share her website.

Offering support to the dying (humans and companion animals) and to their loved ones.

11/06/2023

Ohio journalist and historian Marcia Hartman interviewed me for this profile on Armonia Maxima and the work I do as an end-of-life doula. It was published in the May 2023 edition of the Southeastern Ohio publication The Crossroads. It was originally published in a print-only version by Southeast Publications, who have graciously granted permission to the University of Vermont Office of Professional and Continuing Education to host an online PDF of the article at the link attached to this post. I’m so grateful to Marcia for sharing with a broader (and largely rural) audience this closer look at the much-needed services an end-of-life doula can provide.

Working: Greg Brown, End-of-Life Doula We did a series of articles during The Crossroads’ first year titled “Working,” which consisted of interviews with people who had interesting occupations. We recently reconnected with someone who inspired us to revisit the series. Greg Brown has found not...

10/09/2023

Arthur Asseraf is a historian and writer from Paris who lives in London. He is the author of Electric News in Colonial Algeria (winner of the Middle East Studies Book Prize) and Le désinformateur.

In this essay, he writes on dementia, history, time travel, and meeting our loved ones where they are.

‘Growing up, the entirety of the human past appeared to fit in one person: my grandmother.’ An essay by Arthur Asseraf.

10/06/2023

09/29/2023

It's not likely this study will surprise many end-of-life doulas, chaplains, or anyone who's sat vigil while a loved one was actively dying. And yet how each one of us interprets this study's findings will likely be shaped by our own understanding of consciousness, and by our own thoughts about what (if anything) happens to our souls at the moment of death.

One thing we might all agree on is that this study makes clear the dying person is likely to experience a heightened consciousness at the moment of death. Let it be a reminder for all of us who enter into this sacred space to care for the dying to do so mindful of all our presence might bring to the situation.

Scientists recorded the brain waves of people in cardiac arrest to understand what happens to consciousness when we die.

09/29/2023

What follows is an excerpt from the People Magazine interview of President Carter's grandson. Do YOU know who you are?
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...One time at a McDonald's in Cordele, Georgia, a woman ran up to his grandfather and — fumbling her words — shouted, "Oh my God, do you know who you are?" Jimmy responded simply: "Yes. Who are you?"

Mortified, he says, the woman found it in herself to laugh along with the group at her bizarre question and pose for some photos with the former president.

The random memory — one of many funny and ultimately inconsequential encounters involving Jimmy over the years — stands out to Jason as he reflects on his grandfather's inspiring sense of direction throughout his career. Not because Jimmy responded with a perhaps accidental level of sass, but because of the metaphor buried within the dialogue.

"The answer to that question, 'Do you know who you are?' And he's like, 'Yes.' I think that's actually true for him, and that's not true for everybody."

Jason Carter, grandson of Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter, tells PEOPLE about his family's rollercoaster year — and how the former president's end-of-life care has turned into an unforeseen 'blessing.'

09/21/2023

Reservation Dogs is a terrific show that centers the wisdom (and humor) of Elders, never shying away from discussions about life and death.

09/19/2023

"Solutions to loneliness are like that — little nudges to encourage us to mingle the way we evolved to. They’re so easy, and loneliness seems so debilitating, that we should be doing more."

Britain’s minister for loneliness offers a model of how to knit together a lonely crowd.

09/11/2023

My friend Diane Button offers these reflections on hope:

"I don’t recommend looking for unrealistic hope when you are reeling from a tragedy. Look for everyday hope. Comfort and hope can be found in the most unusual places. A smile. A heart-shaped rock. Sometimes being in the present moment, and seeing the way we come together in community, especially during hard times, can bring us hope for the future. Sometimes hope lives in the far corners, where we don’t often look when we are heartbroken.

"Hope is the possibility of finding our way towards something new, something we are not seeing right now. Hope does not take away grief. It does not heal pain and suffering. Hope just has a gentle way of softening us and offering a slight glimmer of goodness in our broken world.

"My hope is that we practice compassion and turn towards each other’s suffering, rather than running away. May we be willing to not only embrace love, but to also embrace grief, and honor the fullness of this journey called life.

"In those moments, when we show up with our whole heart, even something that hurts can feel a bit like love and remind us of our shared humanity."

September 11th marks a date that is forever etched in our hearts and minds. We all remember exactly where we were when we heard the news when our nation lost 2977 beautiful souls in one tragic morning. Now, twenty-two years later, thousands of people continue to grieve the loss of

08/31/2023

“You don’t want to be locked in for the rest of your life, you don’t want to live the rhythm of the organization,” said Jannette Spiering, a founder of the Hogeweyk. “You want to make your own choices. You still want to go on living, but you need support.”

A new generation of treatment facilities is aiming to integrate dementia patients with the communities around them, blurring lines between home and hospital.

08/17/2023

As we return to school, it is important to acknowledge the students who may be grieving and ensure these children and teens do not feel alone. These "Rights of a Student who is Grieving" are a great starting point for creating a plan to best support those who are grieving at school. To view the NACG's school resources, visit https://bit.ly/3L6K0ZB.

08/17/2023

My friend and colleague Matilda Garrido, who is a Doula Instructor at the University of Vermont, shares ideas of how to support neurodiverse folks through loss and grief.

We know that each person's grief experience is unique; everyone processes death differently. Likewise, loss represents different things to different people; some are comfortable expressing their feelings, while others may not feel able to open up and thoroughly work through difficult emotions. This....

08/10/2023

I was honored to be asked to co-author an article on a “Protocol for a Scalable StoryListening Intervention for Grief-Related Loneliness During COVID-19,” and I’m overjoyed to see it published in the August 2023 issue of Palliative Medicine Reports.

Please click the link to read my short blog post on the experience, which contains a link to the article itself for anyone interested in reading more.

Doulas provide nonmedical emotional support to those facing times of intensity, such as birth, death, and grief. Doulas cultivate a nonanxious presence, validate through attentive listening, hold trust in the inherent wisdom and strength of others, adopt a stance of engaged neutrality and acceptance

06/08/2023

There's nothing wrong with saying "Sorry for your loss," but it's used so much that it can feel empty. Here are some great alternatives.