05/13/2023
BABY AND CHILD CARE
for Alin
by Ana Doina
A wrinkle between almost invisible
eyebrows; you frown in your sleep. I have no one
here to tell me what to do, how to love you,
how to care for you, only books by Dr. Spock
on the nightstand—an old translation Father
sent and the newest English-language edition.
Many things do not match anymore. The book
from the old country, stained with grits, gives potion
recipes, breastfeeding advice. The new book,
still smelling of fresh ink, mentions brands
of formula milk, ready-made ointments,
disposable diapers.
Oh, the hours I spent as a little girl swaddling
dolls in cloth diapers! Mother or Aunt Rada
would show me again and again the proper way
to fold and tuck the soft cloth. Their hands so smart!
My own hands clumsy, I feared I’d never be
a good mother.
Now you’re here. Your miniature toes, your fingers
curled in a small velvet fist. Now, the diaper part
is easy. Mother, Aunt Rada sent long letters,
wise advice about feeding, discipline, only
none of it matches your hunger, the formula,
the order of life in the new American
edition of Baby and Child Care, and I have
no one here to teach me a lullaby.
You sigh in your sleep. When you wake up
you’ll look at me, trusting I know how
to fold and swaddle the world, give it
to you just right for your fingers to grasp.
And I can’t read English well enough
to find a lullaby Dr. Spock
might have included in his new book.
You open your eyes, search for my face.
I start singing the only song I know,
about a mother and a child, alone,
one dark winter night.
(Previously Published 2022, Paterson Literary Review No. 50)