03/13/2022
*Some spoiler alerts for Turning Red*
This will probably be an unpopular opinion but here I go.
I saw a warning post about not letting my kids watch "Turning Red" if I love Jesus. That intrigued me so I did some digging. Their points of concern wouldn't be mine when I think about how we teach our kids to love like Jesus would, so we all watched it last night.
Our boys aged 12 and almost 14, along with our daughter who is 7 all knew what a female's period was before the movie. We have very open communication in our home and knowing how I was humiliated when I got my period in the 4th grade (having no clue what was happening and assumed I was dying as a group of boys laughed in disgust) I told them at the end of 3rd grade a simple process of what happens during puberty, the chance that some of their friends could get it the following year and how to have compassion and empathy if they were to see something happen. If you need to warn your kids that girls menstruate, it seems a lot of people were upset over that.
Were some of the kids disrespectful in the movie? Yes.
Was Mei Mei rebellious? Yes.
Did we explain human behavior and why they were acting this way? Yes.
Was I expecting it to be based on Christianity? No, it's about a Canadian- Chinese family. Our children respect other religions and it expands on conversations about other cultures.
Did Adam and I think they had some deep scenes that only an adult would comprehend about generational trauma? Yes.
It allowed us to have so many conversations when the movie was over.
Like, why as parents you need to have a fine balance with expectations, embracing your kids for who they are while also keeping them safe, trusting each other, and always being honest.
How unspoken expectations can build up into resentments.
If people think that turning red is mainly a movie about her cycle, they missed a critical piece of this movie. It's mainly about what we inherit from our moms and the cycle that will keep happening if you don't address it.
Mei actually helped Ming heal her own wounds with her controlling Mom before she separated too.
I got a good laugh out of so many scenes where she was this giggly, boy-crazy doodling girl who was overwhelmed by these new changes. I'd personally like to think she draws him as a mermaid because she still has her innocence intact. Noah laughed pretty hard because he's been dealing with a couple googly eye'd girls this year and he just laughs it off with more understanding now.
It was also a good reminder to our kids that we would NEVER lose our cool if they came to us about anything. We would never intentionally embarrass them either. We are their safe space and while we hope they have friends that they can confide in, we want them to know they always can with us too. It also means that as their parents, we will say "no" if we have a solid ground to believe it's what is best.
We personally take the route of not sheltering our kids from every little thing, especially a Disney movie. We'd rather have conversations about it because from my experience... 14-year-olds who are banned from movies like "Turning Red"... find a way to be like Mei to do it behind your back. ❤
End thoughts: Do your own research and don't let so many posts scare you away from what may be great conversations. I didn't have any of those and this movie would have made me feel more normal... boy band obsessed and all.
