05/08/2025
Do you ever feel like your world is breaking down around you? Sometimes itâs little things: a spilled coffee, a broken taillight, a forgotten appointment. Or maybe itâs a childâs forgotten jersey for the big game. You muster up the strength to wrestle your way through the unending obstacles. At other times, the obstacles you face are much biggerâshattered glass from your broken heart. A promise broken, a marriage ending, a relapse, a diagnosis, an accident, a loss, a death.
In September of 2018, I experienced several layers of complex grief. I was grieving the death of my first husband and the loss of a 15-year marriage, managing the grief of my two elementary-aged daughters, and reeling with guilt for allowing addiction to touch my family. For years I had been fighting my battles alone in the quiet of my heart, fearful to let others into our hurt and pain. Despite my best efforts of going at it alone, God had other plans.
Letting the veil drop, first with God and then with family and friends, didnât come easily. I struggled with shame and embarrassment coupled with deep sorrow. I was also desperate for understanding. If you have walked through any type of grief, Iâm sure you can relate. I couldnât understand how my life had gotten to this messy place. I asked God, âWhy?! Why us? Why him? Why my girls?â I challenged his goodness and his plans and offered up solutions of my own. However, the more I asked the BIG questions, the more he reminded me that he is a BIG God. I began wrestling like Habakkuk, asking the hard questions, doing my best to receive what he offered.
In this challenging time, God gave me three distinct promises.
1. His Promise to Sustain.
God makes it very clear in his word he will give us what we need. Isaiah 46:4 says: âEven to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.â What a powerful reminder that I donât have to have it all figured out. Despite not knowing how I would pay our mortgage on my much smaller salary, or how I would continue to provide for my girls on my own, or even how I could survive the grief that threatened to take me under, I could rest assured he would provide what we needed.
2. His Promise to Protect.
When grief strikes, the âmomma bearâ comes out. At least that is how I felt. The desperate desire to take away all of our childrenâs pain can leave us moms feeling vulnerable, drained, and alone. The self-doubt that asks, âWho will take care of us now? Who will protect us when the hard times come?â This is a deep fear that, if allowed, God can quell. Isaiah 41:13 says, âFor I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, âDo not fear, I will help you.ââ God explicitly commands us to let go of our fear and promises to lead, help, and protect us.
He also reveals that he knows the storms will come, but he will not let them consume us. âWhen you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablazeâ (Isaiah 43:2). For me, this was a life-altering reminder that heâs got us. A reminder that God will not let us be consumed by our lifeâs tragedies and that he will be right beside us through them too.
3. His Promise for Our Children.
In all of my grief, my children were what concerned me most. Becoming a single mom was scary and overwhelming. I was relieved when God covered my worries with this word. Psalm 68:5 says, âA father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.â Godâs authority and strength is on full display in this promise. The assurance that God âis God!â That he is going to show up for our children, that he is our defender, and that he is holy! This verse carried me (and still does) through all the ups and downs motherhood and grief brought me. It whispered strength into my heart and began repairing my soul. Knowing his promise over my girls allowed me to focus my energy on wellness for my children through the avenues of prayer, counseling, and research, leaving me with tangible ways to care for my grieving children.
Single mom, you are not alone. When your world seems to be breaking down and you find it hard to breathe, cling to these promises. Life might not look the way you think it should, but God will never fail you.
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Brooke Caldwell-Shelor is a behavior interventionist based in Edmond, Oklahoma, where she is dedicated to supporting studentsâ emotional and behavioral growth. At 43, she writes from a place of lived experienceâas a former widow who has remarried and now thrives in a beautifully blended family with three daughters. Brooke is passionate about encouraging others through personal storytelling, educational insight, and a commitment to building strong, supportive communities.
