12/05/2024
Well, I have a bit to just blurt out, more than a bit I guess....bear with me if you can, if you want.
This was one of the best nights of my life, my best friend and surrogate grandfather, Dick Young made it possible, despite not knowing at all who Kevin Smith was just seeing the excitement I had at possibly going to see him. He even tried to buy meet and greets and instead bought vip bar tickets, i.e. a free drink ticket and early entry, much to his dismay, but I was ecstatic. We watched Jay and Silent Bob Reboot and he even made it throught the Q and A after. I'll even admit, though I'm more than ashamed now, I was a little upset when Kevin Smith asked everyone on stage after the show to coordinate a smoke sesh and I couldn't join as Dick was waning, after the 3 hour drive and 4 hour show, I'm surprised I wasn't.
Most of all thoughI just remember being so happy, proud almost, to see that Dick was loving the movie despite coming in completely blind. He even insisted on watching more Kevin Smith films when we got back home the next day.
Fast forward to tonight and Dick couldn't find anything to watch, Meaning his Alzheimer's and Parkinson's were blocking him from both using the remote and being able to focus long enough to actually pick something. So I thought, oh hell let's throw on Clerks 2, have a laugh maybe he'll remember watching it, even if not it'll be a good laugh, and God do I need that lately.
Immediately however, I knew I made a mistake to say the least. He began saying he had seen the movie before with someone but he couldn't remember who, and after some insistence on my part and even more on his, I came to a horrible realization, one of the nights I treasure with him, a night he made possible as a birthday present, he remembers vaguely, but insists it wasn't me as I "didn't work for him yet".
I don't know why that hit so hard, he's been forgetting more and more, but this, this broke me, well more than a little bit. Hell I'm still crying about it as I type this out, it's just something I never thought I'd have to actually face, having to somehow feign being okay 24/7 as I take care of my best friend, all while he forgets who I am.