Allison Rose Coach

05/29/2026

Hyper-vigilance predicts the future using information from the past.

Intuition gives you information in real time.

Hyper-vigilance doesn’t actually live in the present moment.

It burns energy trying to prepare for hypotheticals.
It scans for danger.
It waits for the other shoe to drop.

Because at some point, that vigilance probably protected you.

So now it expects the worst and organizes your life around avoiding pain.

Intuition feels different.

Different people call it different things:

God.
Gut feelings.
Inner knowing.
The body speaking.
An inner compass.

But most people experience it the same way:
beyond logic,
inside the body,
before they can fully explain it.

I think intuition is a mix of desire, subconscious pattern recognition, and the body picking up information in real time.

And when we learn to separate it from fear or hyper-vigilance,
it becomes easier to trust.

Even before we have “proof.”

If you don’t believe me, start experimenting.

Notice if your stomach tightens every time you’re around a certain person.

Notice if your body relaxes around someone else.

Notice the difference between anxiety spiraling into the future…
and a grounded knowing that quietly says:
something here isn’t right.

Your body is gathering information all the time.

The goal isn’t to become fearful of every sensation.

It’s learning when your body is trying to protect you…
and when it’s trying to guide you back to yourself.

Deconstructionists, have you started finding ways to rebuild self trust?

How has intuition played a part in that for you?

05/28/2026

When it’s your identity on the line…
It’s way harder to admit you made a mistake.

Instead of trying and failing, it’s *who you are*.
Instead of being honest when we slip up, it’s repentance and atonement.

Christians will deny this, but the theology of original sin creates people who begin to spiritualize (and moralize) even the most benign of human behavior.

Growing up in charismatic circles, we lived in constant paradox.

We were sinners, saved by grace.

We were chosen/set apart (better than everyone else),
but held to a higher standard (constantly trying prove our goodness).

We were saved, healed, delivered (should be living perfect)
but demons were around every corner (explains, but also vilifies, human experience)

Living in such cognitive dissonance for such a long time is exhausting.

When every human experience, every learning opportunity feels loaded with spiritual meaning…

…just living your life and being authentic feels…dangerous.

Many of us fell into perfectionism to manage this.

But you don’t have to be perfect to live a beautiful life.

Honesty is far healthier on your path to growth.

And you’re probably doing a lot better than you think.

When you begin to realize that all of us are doing this life thing for the first time…
The stakes feel a lot lower.

So, today, take a deep breath.
Remember that your actions don’t define your identity.

In fact, it’s much the opposite.

What you believe about yourself is often how you end up behaving.

So recognize your beautiful humanness and enjoy being alive!

05/27/2026

The OT was written by men, in power.

I know the narrative is that the story of ancient Israel is one of the underdogs.

But even if they were the underdogs (and I’m not sold on that)…

…their fairly egalitarian tribal society, where men and women functioned uniquely, yet equally…

…was essentially erased by the writers.

The story of Josiah is likely not what it seems.

It probably wasn’t a gallant king returning his wayward people back to the holy path.

But more of a tyrant threatened so much by the power of common women within their communities…

That he had to pretend to find “orders from God” to uproot their symbols and assert control again.

Sounds like fragile masculinity at its finest.

Want to know more (from a real expert)?

Check out Paige Hunt’s episode of The Recovering Radical:

Asherah: The Divine Feminine Hidden in the Bible

Streaming Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube

05/26/2026

Some of you are working overtime to avoid rejection

Trying to hold on to the friends you made on worship team.

Convincing your parents your new beliefs aren’t demonic.

Hoping your mentors know you and love you enough to see the real you.

You’re getting honest. You’re thinking deeply.
You’re starting to feel like yourself for the first time…ever.

And I know you’d love nothing more than for those friends to stay connected with you.

But this is the hard truth:

Those people liked you the way you were.

The you that stayed small, agreed, and participated without doubt.

They benefited from that version of you.

And they don’t see the same cracks in the system.

You can spend as much time as you need performing to keep those people happy.

But when the discomfort of not being yourself finally overwhelms your fear of rejection…

You’ll know it’s time.

This is one of the toughest parts of deconstruction.

It’s also only the first phase of the relational rebuild.

You WILL make new friends, you WILL find belonging again.

And this time, it’ll be without the performance.

But in the meantime, in this painful transition, if you’re looking for support that teaches you how to process your emotions and find stability in the middle of the mess…DM me.

I offer private sessions and I’d love to be part of your deconstruction journey. ❤️

So, where are you finding yourself right now?
The Imposter Phase
The Lonely Phase
The Rediscovery Phase

I want to hear all about it.

05/25/2026

“If I don’t pray for that lady, she’ll die of cancer.”

“If I don’t intercede for my school, everyone will go to hell.”

“If I don’t fast long enough, nothing will ever change.”

When we are steeped in revival culture before our sense of self has even developed…

And it becomes our only worldview…

We grow up in utter dysfunction.

Inability to rest or have fun
Constant guilt and shame
Spiraling indecision
Lack of intuition
Hyper-vigilance
Perfectionism

The list goes on and on.

When you are told, as a child,
That the eternal destination of everyone you know and love,
Lies on YOUR shoulders…

It breaks something very human in you.

You no longer have time to care for your body.
Or listen to your emotions.
Or trust yourself in any capacity.

Growing up in that environment leads many of us to experience mental and physical health challenges…

And a gnawing sense that nothing is truly OK.

Well, friend. I see you.

I get it. You’re not crazy.

Most of us who grew up this way have experienced this.

And you need to know that you can let that sh*t go.

It’s time to release the burden.

You’re not failing if you’re living a normal life.

Being human is the opposite of spiritual failure.

It’s the whole point.

So, good job. You’re right where you need to be.

You are enough. I mean it.

Wherever you are, whatever mistakes you’re making…you’re enough.

🫂🫂🫂

05/24/2026

What do you really have to lose?

Your reputation?

You mean the one you built on your carefully secured masks and minimizing your needs and abandoning yourself and shape-shifting to avoid getting rejected?

Or your comfort?

That carefully manicured, no-risk, safe-because-someone-approves, boring, milk-toast, people-pleasing bullsh*t life you’re tired of anyway?

Or your community?

The one that would drop you in a second if you truly let your inside thoughts come out to play?

The one you’ve been pretending to agree with for the last 7 years?

The one who LOVES your talent and your energy and your service but can’t tolerate the idea of you being gay or smoking we*d or enjoying s*x or following astrology or whatever part of yourself you’ve kept on lockdown?

What do you really have to lose?

And the bigger question:
What do you stand to gain?

Maybe you’ll be surprised.
Maybe your hyper-vigilance, your predictions were wrong.
Maybe you’ll be disappointed.
Maybe you’ll finally love.
Maybe you’ll be heartbroken.
Maybe you’ll be present.
Maybe you’ll move through the hurt.
Maybe you’ll discover.
Maybe you’ll learn.

Maybe you’ll find out you’re resilient.

Maybe you’ll realize that a life spent avoiding suffering is not really the point.

Maybe there’s transformation in pain.

Just make the mistakes.
You can handle them.

05/23/2026

05/21/2026

I spent years believing the more healed I got, the simpler and more straightforward my life would be.

Victorious.
Certain.
Full of clarity and peace and smiles.

I thought if I was doing “well,” I’d stop having difficult emotions.
Stop experiencing grief.
Stop feeling angry.
Stop needing extra rest.
Stop feeling so much pain.

But that was the evangelical version.
Real healing doesn’t fit into a “testimony.”

Sometimes it’s dancing while your chest aches.
Sometimes it’s letting your body say what your mouth still can’t.
Sometimes it’s grief moving through you instead of staying trapped inside you.

I think a lot of us were taught to perform healing instead of experience it.

To skip straight to the redemption arc.
To make pain meaningful as quickly as possible.
To package suffering into something inspirational before we’ve even had time to process it.

But some things deserve to be grieved fully.

I don’t think healing is easily validated by others anymore.
In reality, it doesn’t always make the best story.

It’s messy. But it’s worth it. Even if you’re the only one who sees it.

05/19/2026

Purity culture made desire feel dangerous to me.

Not just seggsual desire. Desire in general.

Wanting too much.
Wanting the wrong thing.
Trusting myself too much.
Hurting people.
Being selfish.
Missing “God’s will.”

I think a lot of us learned to treat desire like something that needed supervision.

Like if we loosened our grip for one second, we’d ruin our lives.

Then you leave church and suddenly people are like:
“Just follow your heart.”

And you’re sitting there thinking:
“With WHAT skills exactly???”

When you’ve spent years disconnected from yourself,
it can be genuinely hard to tell the difference between:
intuition,
fear,
trauma responses,
chemistry,
self-abandonment,
actual desire,
or just wanting relief from pain.

I think part of healing is learning through experience.

Trying things.
Getting hurt sometimes.
Disappointing yourself sometimes.
Realizing halfway through that what you thought you wanted actually wasn’t aligned at all.

That’s been one of the hardest parts for me personally.

You can’t logic your way through becoming a person.
At some point you have to live.

And honestly, I’m still figuring this out too.
I don’t have some enlightened relationship with desire where I always know the answer now.

I’m just learning to stay connected to myself a little more each time.

05/18/2026

No more spiritual bypassing here.

And if you’re wondering if I practice what I teach…boy, do I ever.

Sometimes, we accidentally carry the same religious mindsets out of church and into our healing era.

The idea that we are broken.

That we are never-ending projects.

That we aren’t good enough as-we-are.

We’re taught in evangelicalism over and over again that we we’re only valuable when we have enough faith…

…or we’re happy enough.

…or we’re proving our worth with our actions and accomplishments.

Even in charismatic circles, where movement and experiential spirituality is celebrated,

There’s still an air of rationalizing away pain and suffering.

But healing doesn’t look pretty or predictable.

There’s no way to skip ahead or make the process faster.

And there’s no need to optimize it.

Just allow it.

Moving through grief reminds me so much of birth.

There’s no way to make birth faster. Not really.

And the only way through the pain is through it.

My midwife always told me, “Go limp.”

She didn’t mean give up; she meant allow the natural process to move through you.

And similarly, you can trust the way your body processes grief.

So, if you’re moving through any type of grief, heartbreak, or pain right now…

I want to encourage you to move.

But most of all to know, you’re doing it well ❤️

If you’d like to learn a simple tool that could support your deconstruction journey, check out my free Guilt Reset in my profile.