Dr. Keith Chapman

11/13/2024

Burnout may be more of a symptom than a condition. The real condition can be seen in its overlap with anxiety and depression. Its roots can be found early in life in buried wounds.

07/15/2024

Will you consider helping with monthly support of Renju and Serin, Indian missionaries to Trinity Dental Clinic in Liberia? They have recently helped to train the first class of seven dental therapists that recently graduated June 15th! I never even imagined Trinity Dental would have this huge of an impact in training! The links for signing up for support are at the end of the linked newsletter. Thank you for considering this!

https://tinyurl.com/renjuserinnews1

09/20/2023

If I am able to feel anger and sadness and let them lead to grief in whatever intensity, then I have to fight far less battles. It's not apathy or I wouldn't have those feelings at all. The feelings show I care, and the grief and tears are my prayer.

09/20/2023

If I am able to feel anger and sadness and let them lead to grief in whatever intensity, then I have to fight far less battles. It's not apathy or I wouldn't have those feelings at all. The feelings show I care, and the grief and tears are my prayer

01/11/2023

Podcast version of newest episode!

Am I relating well? Am I really relating at all? Can I sit in my fear and loneliness with someone to appreciate them exactly as they are, where they are? "Clumsy is as good as we get" is a quote from author, counselor, and friend Chip Dodd. Check out his book and podcast, Voice of The Heart

12/13/2022

12/13/2022

New Episode! Click to listen https://youtu.be/Dfnr1iUosUY

11/13/2022

"I think that there is a very close connection between humility and patience. Humility involves having the capacity to take a more confrontational stance, having the capacity to retaliate if you wish, yet deliberately deciding not to do so. That is what I would call genuine humility. I think that true tolerance or patience has a component or element of self-discipline and restraint - the realization that you could have acted otherwise, you could have adopted a more aggressive approach, but decided not to do so." -The 14th Dalai Lama

In my relationship with myself, it can be valuable to ask what was going on in me, likely fear, maybe hurt, that I want to be confrontational, and then to share that feeling with someone safe and close.

It is not wanting to beat someone up that makes us insane, but the isolation of not sharing we want to beat someone up can, over time, create isolation, toxic shame, anxiety, and insanity.

06/10/2022

Let's choose to ditch the word "toxic" for a while in relation to others and/or environments. Truth is we're all toxic. I'm toxic. The world is toxic. Yes, there is a tiny percentage of people who are true sociopaths, but in some ways they're no different from all of us in our unhealthy states, so it usually does me little good to keep the finger pointed outwards without holding a mirror to my heart. A healthier approach is to take responsibility, then make the choice with others' help if we can tolerate said "toxicity" for the sake of relationship or business. Here's how I've been shown to take responsibility:
1) I feel _______ (use one or more of 8 core feelings - Sad, Hurt, Angry, Lonely, Fear, Shame, Guilt, Glad)
2) If I'm agitated or disturbed, there's something I need to look at in ME (not that someone may not have abused or harmed us, but we will likely need a healthy friend's help to determine if it's "abusive" or just a human doing what humans do
3) If I'm hysterical, it's likely historical. If it's big, I'm agitated or disturbed, I am likely feeling mostly fear and shame, and recognize it reminds me of _________ in my story.
4) I need to name that part of my story and be vulnerable enough to risk sharing it with a safe friend or counselor/therapist and the feelings surrounding it
5) I need to pray for my offenders, present and historical, that they would be blessed with the same things I want for me, and begin to forgive (a lifetime process) by moving from fear and blame to finding my sadness grieving what happened
6) I stay courageous to keep sharing, as it's not weak to have the same core wounds from our story agitated again and again