06/04/2026
I drank to dull the pain.
The shame, the insecurity, the regret, the anxiety, the grief. All of it.
And it worked.
The pain wasn’t as sharp. I didn’t have to learn how to feel it - it made this little protective bubble around me so that I could just ignore it. It couldn’t quite pe*****te my heart.
But that’s not all it dulls.
It also dulls the joy. The happiness, the gratitude, the wonder, the love.
It dulls the things we live for. The memories we want to hold onto forever. The things that light a fire in our souls.
You can’t selectively numb.
Emotional pain pierces deep into the heart. When you’re not used to it, it feels overwhelming. It feels impossible to stand it. But with time - with practice, with skills - emotional pain becomes bearable.
And the reward is that you get to experience a kind of joy that you’ve likely never felt before.
Give yourself the gift of learning to sit with your emotions. Learning to feel them. Learning that they hurt, but they aren’t permanent.
Because when you do that, you’re giving yourself the gift of happiness. And I want you to know what this kind of happiness feels like.
