11/12/2023
it's better to give than to receive says the faithful peasant, it's better to take than to earn says the hardened crook, i say if you speak you should learn at the same time instead of repeating what you already know. honest to all hell i don't see where it all went bottoms up for me or when i decided to duck the decisions i made. i always knew i would sow more seeds than i would have time to see bloom. that i would try to run faster and further away than my body would allow. that in the end i would be stuck in a place i've tried escaping from always. my character is this way because there is no other choice left for me which provides an outcome i am unable to see. for the longest period of my life there is you there awkward and unassuming. i'm the worst person in your life and you struggle to rid me of you. i smile despite my appearance and demeanor beside your innocence. i know. this is not who i end up with but this is the one. like my pain going forward comes from this chapter of your life that didn't have to be a part of mine but i decided it should be. where you house a library of stories that started and finished, and along side the stories you have yet to begin or conclude lies mine, and that's where the most important chapter of my life begins.
