
10/06/2025
Last night, not even 30 seconds after leaving a family gathering, I heard that cry. The one I know too well. The cry Isa lets out right before a seizure takes him.
I glance in the rearview mirror and see what I feared. Anas is already next to him, voice steady but eyes heavy:
“Mama, he’s having a seizure.”
“I know baby.”
This seizure is different. His eyes roll back. His convulsions are strong. This time, he isn’t “there but not there.” He’s completely gone.
Anas watches closely, trying to act nonchalant, but I can see the worry on his face. “This one is a strong one, mama.” “I know baby.”
It feels like we’re both holding our breath. Then I see Anas grab the magnet and swipe Isa’s VNS with calm precision. He knows what to do. He shouldn’t have to know what to do.
The seconds drag on. Over a minute. It feels like forever. And then finally… the seizure stops. Both of us exhale.
“He’s okay mama,” Anas says, relief in his voice.
“I know baby. Thank you.”
He goes right back to his phone like nothing happened.
Meanwhile, I’m shaken. Traumatized. I haven’t seen a seizure this strong since before Isa started medication, over seven years ago. We just increased his meds two days ago. Wasn’t it supposed to help? It doesn’t make sense. But since when has epilepsy ever made sense?
We sit in the garage, still processing. I turn to Anas.
“Are you okay? I know that seizure was really strong. How do you feel?”
“I’m fine mama.”
“Do you think about Isa’s seizures after they happen?”
“No mama, I’m used to it. I don’t think of things that bring me down.”
My wise, brave boy. At 12 years old, he already knows how to compartmentalize emotions most adults can’t. He’s had to grow up too fast.
And my heart aches, for Isa, who endures the seizures, and for Anas, who carries the silent trauma of being his brother’s protector.