The Daily Throb

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A local man has found himself unemployed after an unfortunate “snart”—a sneeze-fart combination—disrupted a team meeting...
02/26/2025

A local man has found himself unemployed after an unfortunate “snart”—a sneeze-fart combination—disrupted a team meeting and led to his abrupt dismissal.

By Gale Forcewinds, The Daily ThrobHOUSTON—A local man has found himself unemployed after an unfortunate “snart”—a sneeze-fart combination—disrupted a team meeting and led to his abrupt dismissal.Todd McAllister, 38, was attending a routine morning briefing at TexaTech Solutions, where he ...

While politicians argue, athletes rake in millions for throwing balls, and movie stars get standing ovations for pretend...
02/26/2025

While politicians argue, athletes rake in millions for throwing balls, and movie stars get standing ovations for pretending to be other people, there’s an entire workforce out there actually keeping society from collapsing—and they barely get a nod of recognition.

By Justine Time, The Daily ThrobWhile politicians argue, athletes rake in millions for throwing balls, and movie stars get standing ovations for pretending to be other people, there’s an entire workforce out there actually keeping society from collapsing—and they barely get a nod of recognition....

Among the rejected options:• Trumpusk – Sounds like a futuristic cologne.• Musktrump – “Disgusting. Sounds like a diseas...
02/26/2025

Among the rejected options:
• Trumpusk – Sounds like a futuristic cologne.
• Musktrump – “Disgusting. Sounds like a disease,” said Trump.
• Donelon – Dismissed after both men claimed top billing.
• MAGA-X – “Too sci-fi,” Musk complained.
• Elonald – Rejected immediately for sounding “too European.”
• Bigliest Genius Men Ever, LLC – This was Musk’s suggestion.

By Rich E. Luv, The Daily ThrobMAR-A-LAGO—In a twist that absolutely no one saw coming, President Donald Trump and Elon Musk have announced their upcoming wedding, cementing the most powerful, bizarre, and probably tax-motivated union in modern history.But while plans for a gold-plated, Mars-theme...

This is a satirical article, meaning this is not actually happening—yet. While Tesla has not implemented a religious tes...
02/25/2025

This is a satirical article, meaning this is not actually happening—yet. While Tesla has not implemented a religious test for its vehicles (as far as we know), the idea of one religion holding exclusive power over technology, government, or society should concern everyone. The fact that this story even feels plausible speaks volumes about the current state of affairs. Freedom of religion also means freedom from religious control, and history has shown that when any single belief system gains unchecked power, the results are rarely good for those who disagree.

By Kirk P. Confession, The Daily ThrobHOUSTON—In a move that has left Tesla owners stunned, the latest software update prevents the cars from starting unless drivers confirm they “worship the Christian God.”The update, known as Firmware 10:16, was pushed overnight, locking out thousands of use...

If you follow these expert-recommended terrible morning habits, you can guarantee your day will be a spectacular disaste...
02/23/2025

If you follow these expert-recommended terrible morning habits, you can guarantee your day will be a spectacular disaster.

By Tucker Downtrodden, Daily Throb’s Chief Expert in Poor Life ChoicesThey say “how you start your morning sets the tone for the rest of the day.” Fantastic. Because if you’re anything like me, the morning is less of a “fresh start” and more of an Olympic-level struggle to exist. Want to...

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