03/21/2025
7 signs we were slipping into the roommate phase, and how we fixed it before it was too late:
I couldn’t share the post so if the creator sees this please let me know. But this is all facts
1. Our relationship started to feel more like a chore, and the passion was gone.
We stopped making time for intimacy. Everything felt routine. When this happened, we made an effort to reconnect. We scheduled time together, even if it meant putting it on the calendar. We held hands in the grocery store. We made out randomly like we used to. We found ways to bring back the spark.
2. We started to lack intimacy and we were no longer seeking one anothers attention.
We weren’t flirting. We weren’t craving each other’s presence. We weren’t looking at each other the way we used to. This was a huge red flag. We set up date nights, planned intimacy, and booked a couples therapy session to openly talk about it. A relationship without effort in this area can fade fast, so we did what needed to be done.
3. Our routine had become too routine.
Wake up. Work. Dinner. Sleep. Repeat. Life started feeling boring, and we wondered “is every relationship this boring?”
The truth? Every healthy relationship will feel boring sometimes. So we shook things up. We tried new foods. Planned surprise dates. Traveled to places neither of us had ever been. We broke the cycle.. TOGETHER.
4. We started to avoid conflict because we didn’t have the “energy” anymore to argue.
This was a huge sign that we were starting to not care where the relationship was heading during this phase.
We sat down. We talked about why we weren’t interested in resolving conflict. We made a promise that next time there’s a disagreement, we will talk about it. We promised to be honest with each other, and let one another know that handling conflict is draining some days, but in order to make our relationship work, it has to be done.
5. We started to forget that we are supposed to be best friends.
This can happen very easily, as we normally feel most comfortable with our partner, we forget to treat them like a best friend.
We started to give each other grace that we so easily gave others.
We gave one another more compassion.
We started to have fun with each other again.
We started laughing together again.
We remembered that we are not just husband and wife. We are best friends, too.
6. We started to lead separate lives.
This happened to my husband and I very easily.
He would go camping on his own because I didn’t like it. I would watch movies alone at night because he didn’t like the movie. Small things, that caused huge problems in our marriage.
We started making date nights at home.
We started watching a movie together.
We started going camping together.
We put more effort into the things that they like to do.
7. We wondered if our relationship could be saved.
It can. The roommate phase is exactly that. A phase. But getting out of it takes work.
It takes choosing each other every day, even when it feels easier to drift apart.
But I realized something..
Our love was never lost. It was just hidden beneath routine.
We found it again in laughter, in stolen kisses over a messy kitchen counter, in the small moments that reminded us why we fell in love in the first place.
Love is not about never drifting apart, it’s about always finding your way back.
It can be a rollercoaster, but hang on, and don’t let go of each other.
Because the view from the top? Gosh, is it ever beautiful and worth it.
❤️
