12/15/2025
Ok, I watched the last two episodes of the Diddy Documentary and I have some more questions..
1.) Ain’t it wild that Diddy has like 16 variants?
2.) I wonder if they didn’t find the baby oil, could Diddy have replaced Majors as Kang at Marvel?
3.) You got 360 Deal Diddy. You got Ciroc Diddy. You got Sean John Diddy. You got R Kelly Diddy (Sorry Cassie was 18. She was still a kid). You got Cosby Diddy. You got Harvey Weinstein Diddy. You got Woody Allen Diddy. You got Trump Diddy. You got Bill Clinton Diddy. You got Satan Diddy. You got Mr. Steal Yo Girl Diddy. You got Making the Band Diddy. You got Danity Kaine Diddy. You got Diddy - Dirty Money Diddy. You got Mohawk Diddy.
Wait, was Mohawk Diddy in the documentary?
4.) Was it me, or was Mohawk Diddy his final Freak Off Form, like Cell on Dragonball Z or some s**t?
5.) Speaking of Ciroc Diddy, y’all remember when n*ggas were calling themselves Ciroc Boyz?
6.) I hate to ask this because we share the same name, but do yall agree that Diddy stealing Cassie from Ryan Leslie was his easiest steal?
7.) Speaking of Cassie, a 10 album deal?!? Diddy had Cassie in a deal with the Devil, the Joker, Voldemort, and Franklin Roosevelt. Made her sign the New Deal, gawd damn.
8.) I don’t know about the rest of those jurors, but Diddy’s lawyers went a strong 2 for 2 with those jurors in the documentary, right??
9.) I know Diddy’s lawyers were asking, “If we clone the Indian guy, make 11 more him, and put them all on the jury, do we think he would say the goverment needs to go to prison instead?”
10.) If that Indian juror has a daughter, could someone message her and tell her to runaway as soon as possible?
11.) Ok, but like, who are some of these nig..nah, nevermind. I should be tired of asking that, right? Moving on.
12.) Can you imagine explaining the documentary to the Aliens?
Aliens: Who did they get on the documentary?
Me: Oh, some people.
Aliens: Some people?
Me: Yeah, like some people I knew and some people I wouldn’t recognize if they walked into my house right now.
Aliens: Why didn’t they interview Notorious BIG?
Me: Oh, he’s dead.
Aliens: Tupac?
Me: Dead, too. But they did interview Craig Macks wife!
Aliens: And what about Craig Mack?
Me: He’s dead.
Aliens: What about his wife or someone who was the closest to being his wife?
Me: Oh, Kim Porter?!?
Aliens: Sure.
Me: Yeah, she’s also no longer with us.
Aliens: Damn, well wha..
Me: Oh, there was this rapper named Black Rob. He could’ve had some insight into..wait..
Aliens: Dead?
Me: Yeah. Dead.
Aliens: Are you seeing a pattern here?
Me: That Diddy is the equivalent of processed sugar in the Black community?
13.) I’m sorry, but what kind of ecstasy was Diddy and Cassie on to be f**king for how long??
14.) Can y’all imagine partying with a n*gga who stays up for 14 days straight?
15.) Will Diddy’s organs be studied for medically beneficial ways to use ecstasy after he dies, because how is this n*gga not already dead??
16.) Is it me or should finding random baby oil in the hotel carry a minimum 10 year sentence? Was he having mini freakoffs in the hotel? Like, a freakoff subscription with ads?
17.) That Aubrey O’Day story was henious and awful. No questions for that other than it reminds me to ask where are the other arrests?
18.) Is Diddy’s son, Justin, his enforcer? Imagine him threatening you, you turn around and look straight ahead, and that n*gga says, “Hey, down here.”
19.) Diddy was blowing up that producers phone like the Michigan coach was blowing up the white girls pho..wait. S**t, too soon? And I’m sorry, he woke up with who? And didnt even get paid?? Yeah, Katt will lie for ya before he lie to ya when he said, “YOU GOT TO TELL DIDDY NO!”
20.) How many Tyler Perry wigs does Diddy’s mom have?
21.) The documentary was fine. Some stuff exaggerated. But who cares, right? I didn’t need a documentary to tell me that Diddy is one of the worst human beings to gleefully dance around this earth. But I do wanna know..
Who are these n*ggas?
~ Leslie McLemore II