09/17/2024
September is awareness month. Why?
It’s a month to reflect on those who fight second by second with the voices inside their heads, telling them that they’re ugly, that they’re not good enough, that they’ll never succeed, that they’re unworthy of giving and receiving love, that no one cares, that no one understands, that no one appreciates them, sees them, values them, or will truly ever take the time to listen to them. It’s a month to be mindful that we all share these anxious thoughts, but some suffer far worse than others. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
It’s a month to express that it is ok to just be ok. It’s ok to hurt inside. It’s ok to feel that you’re stuck inside a black hole that has no light in sight. It’s ok to cry and not understand why you cry. It’s ok to not want to get out of bed. It’s ok to feel lonely, sad, depressed, hopeless, worthless, lost, and all by yourself. Please remember that feelings pass and most importantly, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
It’s a month to reflect on those who fight with constant pain, eating away at their core, haunted by demons lurking within the disease of addiction. To be kind to the child who was born addicted, to find a place in your heart to not shun the addict, but rather, take time to get to know and understand the warrior. The one who never intended to end up as they have. Who maybe started out just trying to fit in in a scary divisive world where our leaders, religions, politics, and media brainwash us with negative programming meant to divide us and maintain that we live in a state of fear, blaming each other for the problem instead of seeing that love, kindness, acceptance, appreciation, joy, and gratitude are the cure. The cure takes affect when one starts by giving all these things to themselves. With inner-reflection, you may find you have more in common with them than you think. Try putting your cell phone away for the day and count how many times you’re tempted to pick it up. Then imagine if you felt your insides eating away at you every time you didn’t pick up your cell phone. We are all part of the program, and it’s time to disengage. To all the addicts out there, don’t give up! Your story is not finished and you are the author. You choose how it continues, but most importantly, please know YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
It’s a month to reflect on all those who have been s*xually assaulted, abused, abandoned, pushed aside, or mistreated in anyway. The ones who were subjected to an undeserved evil forced upon them that stemmed from an unwell person who emits their own negative projections onto others as they’re unable to face the demons within themselves. Though it’s easier said than done, don’t let the evil that others project, taint the version of you hiding in fear within a corner of yourself. It was not your fault and these things should’ve never happened, but I pray that your experience strengthens you to where no one can ever hurt you again. Stand tall and proud because no one can steal your spirit. You’re infinite energy and this is just a blimp on the radar of your existence. Please know that you’re loved, you are deserving of love, and most importantly, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
It’s a month to consider how all these things can lead to someone not wanting to live in a world that has the potential to be so cruel, cold, lonely, fear-driven, and painful. To reflect on how su***de may seem like the only way to find peace in a place of so much conflict and turmoil. To reflect on those who decided they could not take anymore pain. To those who are struggling with anything at all, I pray you ask for help. You never know who is willing to answer the call, but without reaching out, that someone may not be aware of how much you hurt. It’s the bravest thing you can do. It’s a sign of strength, not weakness. Most importantly, know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
To all those NOT struggling, my question to you is why? Why do we have a month devoted to awareness when some struggle their entire lives. You never know what someone’s going through and we all are affected by trauma, struggles with mental health, abuse, addiction, and su***de in one way or another, but why do we only focus a month to be aware of it?
The same goes for those who have been persecuted due to the color of their skin, the person they are attracted to, whether they’re male, female, or transgender, religious beliefs, etc.
I cry as I write this because I fit into all of these struggles. I’ve fought the battle of anxiety, depression, addiction, abuse, abandonment, the questioning of my s*xual orientation, and suicidal thoughts. I self-medicated with alcohol, co***ne, ex**cy, hallucinogens, for twenty seven years while burying myself behind multiple masks when underneath was a scared child just wanting to be held, heard, loved, and told that I didn’t deserve the experiences that were mine. My bottom was trying to shove a French Knife into my chest in the depths of a meth-induced psychosis after being suicidal for two years.
Through reaching out to my family, someone I never expected to help answered the call. Though it was not easy, my journey of self-love, compassion, understanding, forgiveness, and acceptance began. Through these acts of kindness, we all can heal ourselves and when we heal together, we change the world.
There is no one way to heal, to recover, or to find a better way to live, but it all starts when you decide you’ve suffered enough.
I pray you find the strength to remove your mask, face yourself, and to put your demons in check. When you do so, you make room for the guardians who’ve been by your side your entire existence to outshine your demons.
Suffering is a part of life just as you cannot have dark without the light, just as love exists to balance the hate, just as joy, kindness, and gratitude are high vibrational frequencies, and anger, fear, and greed resonate at the lowest resonance. The challenge is to learn to live within the balance, loving yourself unconditionally throughout it all.
I recover out loud to give a voice to those who suffer in silence as we are all in this together. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
To all the warriors out there fighting for your lives, you are the change this world desperately needs. I pray you disconnect from what steals your peace, and learn to embrace what lies within each and every one of us…the choice to choose to love or to hate. The choice to live with joy and excitement, or to hide within anger and fear.
The healing journey is never over, but I hope you make the choice to let it begin. Real change is possible and it starts when we decide to embrace all of who we are.
I hope as a collective we can get away from months devoted to mental health awareness, su***de awareness, addiction awareness, human rights, LGBTQ rights, etc and lean towards an elevated collective consciousness with a focus on acceptance, love, joy, kindness, empathy, compassion, and gratitude.
We are all in this together, sharing a collective experience. I choose to love myself, so that I can better love you. ❤️
Damaged Circuit
