01/08/2026
đïžđ S**T RAG NEWS â THURSDAY AFTERNOON đâ
đ» Thirsty Thursday in the Thumb: Allâhands edition
It started with a call from Jody around noon. She said she was passing through and wondered if anyone wanted coffee. Rampage told her to bring a thermos and a miracle; Kris Fry said as long as she brought donuts, she could stay. Cody just groaned because he knew how this would end. TwoâTooth Tammy overheard the call from across the diner and shouted something about needing more beer. Dallas Alice, who happened to be in town to drop off paperwork, rolled her eyes and lit a cigarette.
By the time Jodyâs truck rolled into the lot, half the crew was waiting. Rampage was leaning against the Kenworth like he owned the world; Cody was checking his watch like he had somewhere else to be; Kris was talking to anyone who would listen about how he lost a wrench in the silage pile that morning; Cowboy Troy was there too, purely for the entertainment, hat low and grin wider than the highway. Sadie stayed by the door of the truck, watching everyone with that look dogs get when they know humans are about to do something stupid.
Jody hopped down, handed Rampage a coffee, kissed Kris on the cheek, and winked at Cody just to make him uncomfortable. âYâall ever take a day off?â she asked. Rampage laughed. Cody shook his head. Kris said heâd try it someday. Dallas Alice muttered that she couldnât afford to.
Conversation turned to the weather because of course it did. The meteorologist had said âmixed precipitationâ which everyone knew meant âwe have no idea.â They talked about the roads turning to ice rinks, about the time Rampage tried to wash his truck in January and turned his driveway into a skating rink, about the farmer who once used duct tape to fix a milk line (Kris looked down at his boots at that part). TwoâTooth Tammy told a story about a deer that allegedly jumped into her back seat; nobody believed it and she didnât care.
Cody mentioned heâd locked his keys in his truck again. Jody snorted. Alice said maybe he should get a key fob. Rampage offered to pop the lock with a wire hanger, and Kris told him not to scratch the paint. Cowboy Troy took a sip of coffee and said he could probably lasso the lock open if they let him. Sadie barked at a squirrel and everyone looked over, grateful for the distraction.
The longer they talked, the more people drifted in. The conversation spun from weather to crop prices to whose truck was running worst to who was making dinner. Dallas Alice said sheâd make chili if anyone would show up with cornbread. Jody said sheâd bring bourbon. Tammy asked if there would be karaoke. Cody threatened to cancel the whole thing if karaoke showed up.
Eventually, as the clouds darkened and the temperature dropped, everyone realized they actually had work to do. Kris had to get back to the farm before the milk tanker arrived. Rampage had to pick up parts before the store closed. Cody needed to find his missing keys. Troy had to haul a load to Saginaw. Jody had to head back down the highway before nightfall. Alice needed to drop off a load of empty pallets.
They said their goodbyes like they always do: quickly, loudly, and with the promise of seeing each other again sooner than anyone expects. Sadie hopped into the truck without being told. Jody offered one last piece of advice: âDonât start anything you canât finish before it gets dark.â Tammy yelled something about waiting to finish her beer. Troy tipped his hat and rolled out.
And just like that, Thirsty Thursday turned into Get Back to Work Thursday. The roads were still slick, the coffee was still gone, and the day wasnât over. Thatâs the Thumb for you: even a quick coffee break is an adventure.
Drive slow, keep it between the ditches, and if you hear yelling down at the diner later, itâs probably us, so come on in.
