01/11/2026
Parenting is often judged by children’s behavior, but research and experience show this is misleading. A first child may follow rules perfectly, while a second child in the same home exhibits entirely different responses.
Even with identical routines, discipline, and environment, children have unique temperaments and personalities. What works for one child may not work for another, highlighting the role of biology and individuality in behavior.
This discrepancy often leads parents to question their skills or feel judged by others. It’s important to remember that behavior is not a direct measure of parenting quality, it is a combination of temperament, developmental stage, and environmental factors.
Understanding that each child is different allows parents to approach challenges with empathy and flexibility rather than self-blame. Strategies may need to be adapted for each child’s needs while maintaining consistency and support.
Judging parents based solely on behavior ignores the complexity of child development. Recognizing individuality in children shifts focus from criticism to guidance, support, and understanding, helping parents navigate the unique journey of raising each child.