Healing With Lauren Marie

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Certified Attachment Theory Coach | Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Healing for DAs & Partners
1:1 Coaching 👇

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When a DA partner reacts strongly to needs, it’s rarely because the need is too much. Inside, that need often triggers a...
01/11/2026

When a DA partner reacts strongly to needs, it’s rarely because the need is too much. Inside, that need often triggers a familiar feeling of failing, disappointing someone they care about, or not being able to do love right. Many grew up learning that being capable, self-sufficient, and emotionally contained kept them safe, while vulnerability led to criticism or withdrawal. As adults, intimacy asks for emotional presence, repair, and accountability, which activates deep shame rather than confidence. Pulling away can feel like the only way to stop that internal pressure, even when they care deeply.

1:1 Coaching 👇

If you see yourself shutting down when needs come up, or you keep finding yourself chasing clarity from someone who pulls away, this pattern is exhausting and deeply painful. One person feels flooded and inadequate, the other feels unseen and emotionally alone. Without support, both end up stuck in the same loop, repeating reactions they do not actually want.

This is exactly what I help my clients heal through every day.

In our 1:1 work together, I help you:

• Understand your own attachment style — the blueprint for how you love, connect, fight, and cope under pressure
• Heal the shame-based wounds and relational patterns that make closeness feel overwhelming or unsafe
• Regulate your nervous system so you can stay present instead of shutting down when needs arise
• Reconnect with your worth and move toward secure attachment, creating relationships that are intentional, consistent, and reciprocal

🌱 These patterns don’t shift through insight alone. They heal at the root through subconscious reconditioning and nervous system regulation — creating lasting change rather than temporary relief.

đź’« For my coaching, please visit the link in my bio.

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In attachment science, secure people don’t force alignment in relationships. They pay attention to how a relationship fe...
01/11/2026

In attachment science, secure people don’t force alignment in relationships. They pay attention to how a relationship feels over time and decide whether it works for them, without abandoning themselves to preserve connection. When a relationship repeatedly activates anxiety, shutdown, or emotional unsafety, that activation provides meaningful information rather than evidence of personal failure. Choosing to step away from someone you care about, who doesn’t have the capacity to meet you emotionally or engage in consistent repair, is an act of discernment and self-respect. You can love someone deeply and still recognize that a relationship that chronically dysregulates your nervous system is not a safe place to build a future.

1:1 Coaching 👇

If this post resonated, it may be because you loved someone deeply while also feeling confused about why the relationship hurt so much or felt so hard to leave. Most people are never taught how the attachment system shapes who we bond with, what feels familiar in love, or why we stay emotionally attached even when a relationship is hurting us. Without that understanding, it’s easy to believe the answer is trying harder or loving more, rather than recognizing what is actually driving the bond.

This is exactly what I help my clients heal through every day.

In our 1:1 work together, we:

• Identify your attachment style, the blueprint for how you love, connect, cope, and fight in relationships
• Rewire subconscious patterns that keep you stuck in emotionally unsafe dynamics
• Learn nervous system regulation tools to manage triggers in real time
• Set boundaries without spiraling or self-abandoning
• Move toward secure attachment so relationships feel safe and reciprocal

đź’« For my coaching, please visit the link in my bio.

Follow for more tools and insights

The damage from lying isn’t just the lie itself. It’s what it does to your perception of reality. We rely on close relat...
01/11/2026

The damage from lying isn’t just the lie itself. It’s what it does to your perception of reality. We rely on close relationships to help us know what’s real, safe, and true through words, reactions, and consistency. When the truth is withheld or distorted, your nervous system struggles to orient itself. Over time, this creates confusion, hypervigilance, and self-doubt, often leading you to question yourself instead of the behavior. That erosion of self-trust is one of the most harmful consequences of deception in any relationship.

1:1 Coaching 👇

If dishonesty has been part of your relationships, whether you were hurt by it or learned to use it as protection, something deeper was trying to stay safe. These patterns often form early, when honesty didn’t feel safe. Over time, they quietly erode trust, create anxiety, and block real intimacy. The good news is that these dynamics are learned, and they can be unlearned.

This is exactly what I help my clients heal through every day.

In our 1:1 work together, we:

• Identify your attachment style — your blueprint for how you love, connect, cope, and fight in relationships
• Identify the subconscious beliefs and protective patterns driving dishonesty or tolerance of it, and give you the tools to reprogram them
• Learn emotional regulation skills to manage triggers and fear responses in real time
• Move toward secure attachment so your relationships are built on honesty, emotional safety, and trust

đź’« For my coaching, please visit the link in my bio.

For more tools and insights, follow

When trauma is avoided instead of processed, the nervous system does not forget it. Unresolved trauma continues to live ...
01/10/2026

When trauma is avoided instead of processed, the nervous system does not forget it. Unresolved trauma continues to live in the body through stress responses, muscle tension, emotional reactivity, and patterns of shutdown that develop outside of conscious awareness. These patterns are often learned early as a way to stay safe, especially in avoidant attachment, and they shape how you regulate emotion and attach in relationships. Over time, unprocessed trauma shows up as anxiety, anger, shame, compulsive behaviors, or emotional numbing. Healing does not happen through avoidance. It begins when what has been carried in the body is finally allowed to be felt and released.

If you’re ready to change this pattern:

1:1 Coaching 👇

If you recognize yourself in this pattern, it is not a personal failure. It is a nervous system strategy that once kept you safe, but now limits emotional closeness and connection. This work is not about forcing vulnerability. It is about helping your system feel safe enough to stay present in relationships.

This is exactly what I help my clients heal through every day.

In our one-on-one work together:

• Identify your attachment style and the patterns driving emotional distance and shutdown
• Learn nervous system regulation tools to manage emotional triggers in real time
• Reprogram subconscious beliefs and coping strategies for lasting change
• Build the capacity for emotional closeness without overwhelm or self-abandonment

đź’« For my coaching, please visit the link in my bio.

Follow me for more tools and insights

For someone with severe dismissive avoidant attachment, emotional intensity (especially your pain), feels dangerous. Clo...
01/07/2026

For someone with severe dismissive avoidant attachment, emotional intensity (especially your pain), feels dangerous. Closeness and vulnerability trigger their nervous system into fight or freeze, and shutting down becomes the fastest way to survive. Comforting you would require staying present, feeling empathy, letting emotion move through their body, and taking emotional responsibility.

So they leave.

They disappear and self-soothe through distance, distraction, or another person. That’s how they regulate. Often not because they don’t care, but because staying feels like psychological annihilation.

This shutdown looks cold, calm, or detached, especially when they resume their normal activities while you’re breaking down. That’s why it hurts at a soul level.

Understanding the why explains the pattern. It does not make the harm acceptable or something you should ever tolerate. A partner who cannot stay when you are suffering, regardless of their wounds, is not emotionally safe.

1:1 Coaching 👇

Being left in emotional free fall while someone you loved shut down and carried on as if nothing happened is deeply destabilizing. When there is no emotional presence, repair, or protection, the nervous system experiences it as an attachment injury.

This is exactly the work I do with my clients every day…healing the attachment injuries and nervous-system damage caused by emotional abandonment and chronic shutdown.

In our 1:1 work together, we:

• Identify your attachment style — the blueprint for how you love and connect
• Heal attachment injuries caused by emotional abandonment, shutdown, and lack of repair
• Reprogram subconscious attachment wounds so old patterns no longer run your relationships
• Learn emotional processing tools to regulate your nervous system and manage triggers in real time
• Rebuild self-trust and boundaries so you stop questioning your reality
• Move toward secure attachment so you no longer gravitate toward emotionally unavailable or toxic partners

đź’« For my coaching, please visit the link in my bio.

Follow for more tools and insights

Anxiety in these relationships isn’t random or irrational. It develops when emotional connection is inconsistent, repair...
01/06/2026

Anxiety in these relationships isn’t random or irrational. It develops when emotional connection is inconsistent, repair is absent, and safety is never fully established. Over time, the nervous system adapts by staying alert, questioning self-worth, and prioritizing stability over authenticity. What looks like anxiety is often the body responding to chronic emotional distance. None of that response means something is wrong with you. It means your system was trying to survive a relationship that didn’t feel secure.

1:1 Coaching 👇

If this post resonated, it’s likely because your nervous system is still holding the impact of this relationship. The anxiety, confusion, and self-doubt didn’t come from nowhere. They were shaped by a dynamic that didn’t feel emotionally safe.

As an Integrated Attachment Theory coach, this is exactly what I help my clients heal through every day. I help you understand how this relationship affected your attachment system and nervous system, and then guide you through healing those wounds at the root…not just managing the symptoms.

In our 1:1 work together, I help you:

• understand your attachment blueprint and why this relationship impacted you so deeply
• regulate anxiety, fear of abandonment, and nervous system hyperarousal
• heal the “something is wrong with me” wound created by emotional withdrawal
• rebuild self-trust, boundaries, and internal safety
• move toward secure attachment and relationships that feel calm, consistent, and emotionally safe.

đź’« For my coaching, please visit the link in my bio.

Follow me for more tools and insights

Many DAs want connection, they just don’t believe they’re capable of it.Over time, that doubt turns into something deepe...
01/04/2026

Many DAs want connection, they just don’t believe they’re capable of it.

Over time, that doubt turns into something deeper: the belief that they are incapable of changing this attachment pattern.

That belief forms through early childhood experiences where emotional needs were not consistently met or made safe. The nervous system learns that withdrawal is more reliable than reaching for connection or comfort, and those protective patterns begin to feel permanent. These were survival responses.

But you’re not stuck this way.

Attachment styles aren’t fixed. You weren’t born with your attachment style. It was conditioned in early childhood and can be reconditioned through subconscious reprogramming. With the right support, it’s possible to build the emotional capacity for closeness, connection, and relationships that feel safer and more fulfilling.

This is exactly the work I help my clients heal through every day.

đź’« For my coaching, please visit the link in my bio.

Follow for more tools and insights

Clarity doesn’t come from convincing someone to change. It comes from watching what they consistently choose.When you st...
01/04/2026

Clarity doesn’t come from convincing someone to change. It comes from watching what they consistently choose.

When you stop interfering, you get clean information. You see where their time, energy, and priorities actually go. And from that place, you get to decide- calmly and honestly- whether this dynamic works for you.

Secure people don’t chase answers or argue with reality. They trust what they observe and respond accordingly.

Misalignment isn’t something to fix. It’s something to notice…and act on.

1:1 Coaching 👇

Sometimes someone emotionally overwhelms us early on. The intensity feels like connection, and by the time we notice the misalignment, we’re already attached. Once attachment forms, there can be a strong emotional pull and a fear of detaching or being alone, which keeps us in dynamics we logically know are unhealthy or misaligned.

If you feel confused, unprioritized, or stuck in a dynamic you can’t seem to think clearly about, this is exactly the work I help my clients heal through every day.

In our 1:1 work together, we build clarity, regulate the nervous system, and restore self-trust — so you can make grounded decisions instead of staying emotionally hooked to what isn’t healthy.

đź’« For my coaching, please visit the link in my bio.

Follow for more tools and insights

Romantic relationships activate our attachment system more than any other bond because they mirror early caregiver dynam...
12/31/2025

Romantic relationships activate our attachment system more than any other bond because they mirror early caregiver dynamics.

The nervous system responds from implicit memory, not logic or intention, which is why patterns repeat even in self-aware people. Most people are not denying childhood wounds. They’re unaware of how emotional neglect, inconsistency, or unmet needs shaped their internal responses.

They’re responding exactly as a nervous system conditioned in early relationships learned to respond, until awareness and healing occur.

Romantic relationships don’t create these wounds. They reveal them.

And once revealed, they can finally be healed…not through insight alone, but through nervous system regulation, emotional processing, subconscious reprogramming, and new relational experiences that create safety.

That’s the science.

1:1 Coaching 👇

If you keep repeating the same relationship patterns….overthinking, shutting down, overgiving, feeling anxious or emotionally unsafe—it’s not because something is wrong with you. These are learned nervous system responses that once helped you survive connection.

This is exactly the work I help my clients heal through every day.

In my 1:1 coaching, I help you heal your attachment style by reprogramming the subconscious patterns and attachment wounds driving your reactions, so you can regulate your nervous system, rebuild self-trust, and finally experience relationships that feel secure, connected, and emotionally

đź’« For my coaching, please visit the link in my bio.

For more, follow me

Closeness feels good in the moment for a DA, but it also activates their attachment system. Intimacy, shared routines, a...
12/29/2025

Closeness feels good in the moment for a DA, but it also activates their attachment system. Intimacy, shared routines, and uninterrupted time together increase emotional dependency, which their nervous system reads as a loss of autonomy. So when the trip ends, they regulate by pulling back physically and emotionally. That withdrawal is not intentional harm, but it creates real harm. For the partner the sudden shift feels confusing and destabilizing. You felt connected on the trip, then disconnected after returning. That inconsistency erodes safety, creates anxiety, and leaves your nervous system bracing for the next drop in connection.

1:1 Coaching 👇

If this pattern keeps leaving you confused, self-blaming, or bracing for the next emotional drop, nothing is wrong with you. Withdrawal after closeness is deeply dysregulating, and your nervous system is responding exactly as it should.

I help my clients make sense of this confusing relationship dynamic with a dismissive avoidant. You deserve clarity, steadiness, and support while navigating a relationship that feels inconsistent and emotionally unsafe.

This is exactly what I help my clients heal through every day.

In our one-on-one work together, we:

• Identify your attachment style so you understand how this dynamic affects you
• Make sense of dismissive avoidant withdrawal so you stop personalizing it
• Learn nervous system regulation tools to calm anxiety after emotional pullbacks
• Rebuild self-trust so you stop questioning your reality
• Strengthen boundaries and communication so you feel more grounded and secure

đź’« For my coaching, please visit the link in my bio.

Follow me

When a partner ignores you while you’re hurting, it cuts deeper than everyday conflict. Those are the moments when care,...
12/29/2025

When a partner ignores you while you’re hurting, it cuts deeper than everyday conflict. Those are the moments when care, responsiveness, and repair matter most. When that care doesn’t come, the pain doesn’t resolve. It accumulates. Over time, you stop feeling like a priority, or like the relationship is being protected. The hurt piles up quietly, trust erodes, and you’re left carrying wounds alone inside a relationship that was supposed to hold you.

1:1 Coaching 👇

If you’ve spent a long time being the one who held the pain, waited for repair, or stayed quiet so the relationship wouldn’t fall apart, it makes sense that you feel exhausted and worn down. Being ignored when you’re hurting leaves real attachment wounds. You deserve support in healing what this dynamic did to you.

This is exactly the work I help my clients heal through every day.

In our 1:1 work together, we:

• Identify your attachment style — the blueprint for how you love, connect, and cope
• Understand the wounds created by emotional neglect and chronic disconnection
• Learn nervous system regulation tools so your body can finally settle
• Rebuild self-trust and reconnect with your self-worth
• Help you feel steadier, clearer, and more grounded in your relationship and in yourself

đź’« For my coaching, please visit the link in my bio.

For more, follow me

In relationships with dismissive avoidants, you don’t start over-explaining because you’re insecure or dramatic. You sta...
12/29/2025

In relationships with dismissive avoidants, you don’t start over-explaining because you’re insecure or dramatic. You start over-explaining because your experience keeps getting invalidated and disconnected from. When that happens repeatedly, the nervous system does something very logical. It tries again. It softens. It clarifies intent. It fills in gaps the other person isn’t filling. Not to convince or win, but to repair disconnection and finally feel seen, heard, and emotionally registered. That shouldn’t take this much effort. In healthy relationships, attunement is already there. When it isn’t, your body knows something is off. Pay attention.

1:1 Coaching 👇

Loving a DA can slowly make you feel invisible. You reach for closeness, and they pull away. You try to communicate, and they shut down. Over time, you start questioning your worth and blaming yourself for the distance, when all you were asking for was connection, consistency, and emotional safety.

This is the work I guide my clients through in 1:1 sessions.

We focus on helping your nervous system feel safe again, rebuilding self-trust, and untangling the patterns that kept you over-explaining, overgiving, or shrinking to stay connected. When you anchor back into your worth, you stop chasing closeness and start creating relationships that are intentional, consistent, and reciprocal.

For my coaching, please visit the link in my bio.

Follow me for more

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Ladera Ranch, CA
92694

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