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AIO - After 6 years I’m starting to get really irritated with my husband’s insecurities.u/squishy_fossil says,My husband...
12/15/2025

AIO - After 6 years I’m starting to get really irritated with my husband’s insecurities.

u/squishy_fossil says,

My husband (36) and myself (32) have been together for 6 years. His childhood was full of traumas, really horrible things. And his teens and early 20s were no better. So I understand completely why he is so insecure, doubtful and constantly overthinks every little thing. I knew all of this when we got married and still fully accept him and love him.

He takes meds for depression and ADHD which does help. Lately, he’s been under more stress, as we’ve had some financial issues so he has had to work more and pay for more things. We’ve discussed all this and know it’s a temporary setback but I know it still puts a lot on him so I make sure I do whatever I can to make the rest of his day after work as less stressful as possible.

Over the last year, our intimacy has become less frequent. From 4-6 times a week to 2-3 times a week. Honestly, I feel like that’s normal. After 6 years of having the same kind of [spicy sleep], it’s not as ā€œexcitingā€ as it was. And he’s not the type to try new things because I’ve mentioned it to him and he ā€œdoesn’t know howā€. I don’t love him LESS I just don’t feel that strong desire for [spicy sleep]. We have 3 kids too and our youngest just turned 1 so that plays a part as well.

My husband thinks I just don’t desire him anymore and he never stops talking about it lately. He overthinks everything, like I said above, so he just gets a thought and it spirals. No matter what I say I can’t convince him otherwise.

He thinks about it so much he gives himself nightmares. He said I only want intimacy after he’s bought groceries, paid a bill, or did something useful around the house. That makes me feel like I shouldn’t initiate [spicy sleep] on the day he’s done those things. But then when he does those things and I DON’t initiate, he complains that he did all these things for me and I showed no gratitude or affection.

He also waits until after 11 pm to start showing interest in intimacy even though I’ve told him I’m too tired by then so let’s try earlier in the evening. But if I’m too tired or not feeling up to it, he says he understands and doesn’t want to ever force me to do anything if I’m not going to have a good time. So then why make me feel guilty for it?

And whenever I show him affection, he thinks I’m just leading him on when [spicy sleep] doesn’t happen. But when I don’t show lots of affection, he thinks I’m upset with him. I feel like no matter what I do or what the situation is, he’s going to be extremely negative about it. It’s been giving me anxiety.

(Picture attached) Yesterday, I was driving around a lot after maybe getting 4 hrs of sleep, had to wait most of the day at the DMV with our 1 year old then rushed home to get the other kids off the bus in time. I then had some time to clean up the house and start dinner before my husband got home.

Obviously, I was tired but my husband had asked the previous night if we could set aside ā€œtime for usā€. So after the kids went to bed we watched a movie then went to the bedroom for ā€œusā€ time. 45 minutes later, I suddenly felt like I needed to throw up and I think it was just because of how tired I was. I wanted to cry because I knew this was going to blow up into a whole thing about how I disgust him and etc. I had to stop and apologized profusely and said I was really embarrassed and he just rolled over and didn’t want to talk.

Today, I texted him and got a typical response. I love this man so so so much but I am getting extremely sick of his insecurities. Why would I feel like having [spicy sleep] if there’s the constant anxiety that I’m going to disappoint him?

AIO my wife left me with nothing after confronting her about her cheating, I have ALSu/Pretend-Finger1459 says,Yes this ...
12/13/2025

AIO my wife left me with nothing after confronting her about her cheating, I have ALS

u/Pretend-Finger1459 says,

Yes this is a burner account I made for this post. The first text was yesterday, the last two from today but with gaps in time.

Long story short, I was diagnosed with ALS a few months ago, and knew that I wanted to focus as much as I could on treatment, plus saving for my wife and I to travel the world, I guess like a bucket list, also making sure she was as financially secure as possible because eventually this will [unalive] me.. life insurance, savings, the works. I had a lot of money saved for this.

I’m keeping everything condensed

Last week, I found the edges of a [wiener wrapper] wrapped jammed between the bed and frame, while changing the sheets.. confronted her and she admitted eventually that yeh she was cheating on me. [effing] devastating news to receive while I’m [effing] [passing away] and worked my [butt] off 60 hours a week to save and provide.

I did everything for her always, everything. Anything she wanted.. and now that I can’t really work anymore and it’s her turn to help, get a job to cover some expenses like bills and OOP medical stuff, the vibe changed immediately. Like basically almost instantly. I feel so [effing] stupid for ignoring the signs.

The final kicker, is she drained our mutual accounts, took most of my [crap], minus clothes, my car obviously and some furniture, has left me [effing] destitute, alone, the day before thanksgiving. The bank isn’t being [effing] helpful, I called the cops and they said… ā€œoh it’s civil. Blah blah blahā€

Like dude, I just wanna give up now. I feel like everything is over and there’s no point anymore.

Someone please tell me this is going to be ok. She was my focus. My everything. I sacrificed friendships because of her jealousy. I grew up adopted and since my parents [passed away] years ago always been a bit of a loner, I think she saw this and took advantage of me.

F22 am I overreacting in this situation with my bf M22 ?for context- my bf is a tattoo artist and he is currently gettin...
12/12/2025

F22 am I overreacting in this situation with my bf M22 ?
for context- my bf is a tattoo artist and he is currently getting his diploma so recently he started taking clients and freelancing, so yesterday around 7 in the evening he tells me he is going to work so I asked him why are you going so late he replies with I was sleeping the whole day, around 8:30 he tells me he is about to reach the clients house (that is two girls) and he is going there with his another friend who is also a tattoo artist and keep in mind the place is around 40 minutes away from his pg to the clients place by metro, so around 10:00pm texted and called him no reply, around 12:00 am called and texted no reply, texted his friend with whom he was going no reply no response what have I done wrong here :)

AIO for wanting to keep a baby my boyfriend doesn’t want?I (25f) found out I was pregnant with my boyfriends (27m) baby ...
12/12/2025

AIO for wanting to keep a baby my boyfriend doesn’t want?
I (25f) found out I was pregnant with my boyfriends (27m) baby a few days ago. It came as a big shock to both of us as I am on birth control and I have a few medical issues that make it hard to get pregnant. I have said that I would get an abortion if I got pregnant but I feel completely different ever since I saw the positive pregnancy tests. I want kids & so does he but he keeps saying that he doesn’t want it right now. we are financially stable and have been together for over a year now. I understand it’s not a great time and I get his perspective but at the same time all I keep thinking is that having this baby is what I want. I just feel so lost and confused because it’s either I get an abortion and potentially have so much regret & resent my boyfriend or I have to be a single mother. I just need some advice because I feel so lost right now.

[UPDATE] Just found these texts in my bf’s phone. I’m shaking. What do I do? It’s been 4 years.I had someone ask about m...
12/08/2025

[UPDATE] Just found these texts in my bf’s phone. I’m shaking. What do I do? It’s been 4 years.

I had someone ask about my old post, and since it’s been about a year I figured I’d do a happy update. I wrote my detailed story with a TLDR at end!

Update: After finding those cheating pics, I was devastated. I felt everything fall apart. I knew it was over. But I tried to cling onto hope, he begged me to stay and apologized over and over. I found a therapist and he began therapy. We still lived together. We gradually fizzled out over the next two months. He saw I was extremely depressed. I could barely eat. I was like a ghost floating through our house every day.

He seemed hopeful, and said he’d fix things with therapy and was working on his loyalty and sexuality problems. But I had no hope, I knew everything had changed and I was just too scared to let go yet.

During this time I got closer to one of my best online gaming friends. We’d been friends for 5 years and always had lingering feelings for each other. He had always loved me, which I didn’t know. He was there for me throughout everything. I fell in love with him.

I told him I was torn between him and my feelings for my ex, and I was scared to leave. He was completely supportive and understanding. I ended up telling my ex I fell out of love with him, and he could definitely tell there was someone else.

January 18, 2024, when my ex came home from work, he walked over to me and I was looking depressed as usual. He asked me, ā€œAre you ever gonna be happy again?ā€ I responded, ā€œI don’t know.ā€

After that, we walked inside and I said we should talk. We talked, he said he loves me, wants me, but doesn’t want to be in a relationship right now. He said he felt like he was missing out, and feared he would be 40, depressed, wishing he lived his young years more. I knew this was coming. We finally officially broke up and I cried hard but also felt so relieved.

My friend was there for me so much. He was the only thing that didn’t make me feel like dying. The next night my ex went out with his friends to the bars and I was a mess thinking of him hooking up with girls. But my friend was there for me.

He continued being the best supporter ever. Door dashing me food and treats, and even sent me beautiful flowers on Valentine’s day, when I expected to spend it alone for the first time in 4 years. I couldn’t believe how perfect he was. He made me feel alive again, made me believe in love and good men again.

Soon after, he and I arranged to meet up. He was in Canada, I was in USA, an hour flight away. I was so nervous but also felt like, f**k it! I’ve known this man for 5 years and I love him. I think I always have. I flew to see him February 16th, 2024. We were both so nervous. We hugged so big as soon as we saw each other. 5 years of friendship and suppressed feelings erupted that day and we were inseparable.

He officially asked me out in person February 20th, 2024. He took me to a Ghibli live music candlelit concert, because he knows I love Ghibli. At the end of my favorite song, Merry-Go-Round of Life, he asked me out. He was so happy he cried. I was so happy too.

Over the next year, we traveled the world together, from Japan, Malaysia to meet his family, and to Europe. We made countless beautiful memories together. We had our New Years kiss under the twinkling Eiffel Tower.

I really feel like I’m finally with the love of my life, and finally for once in my life feel like I won’t ever be cheated on. He respects me, loves me, treats me like an absolute princess, and would do anything for me. More than anything, he’s patient and is helping me heal from all my past trauma, especially in old relationships (trust issues, fear, ROCD, etc), and helping me improve my mental health. I’ve never felt so safe and protected and loved.

I’m the luckiest girl, and now I’m so glad my ex cheated on me.

TLDR: I left my cheating ex, and fell in love with my best friend. We’ve been together for a year and have traveled the world together. He treats me like a princess and is the most loyal person ever. I love him!

Pic Context I received these texts from that ex boyfriend out of the blue, the one who cheated in the last post. He seemed remorseful and reached out to talk. After talking to my boyfriend, he said I could meet in public and see what he had to say. He understands that relationship was for years of my life and I never really got a proper apology.

My ex told me he regretted everything, and he had been doing a lot of reflecting. He apologized for everything he put me through, and said he realizes how traumatic it was for me, him cheating and me having to leave our house and move back with my parents. He told me I was the only thing that showed him how to love, the only light in the darkness, and he ruined that. He told me the only thing that keeps him from falling into degeneracy and everything he hates is the hope he’ll be with me again. He said he can’t imagine marrying or having a future with anyone except me.

But he told me he didn’t want me to leave my current boyfriend. He said if I’m happy and things work out, I should stay. He said if we don’t work out naturally, he’ll be waiting.

He apologized for never communicating and agreed every time I got onto him I was giving him a deserved kick in the ass, helping him stay on track in his life and he would just tell me ā€œf**k youā€ in response. He apologized for that and said he should have listened and took that for granted.

He also told me he tried dating a girl after we broke up because he missed being in a relationship ironically, and she treated him exactly how he treated me. He would try to communicate, be calm, be respectful, and she made him insecure, jealous, and would never communicate. Talk about karma. But it was nice hearing he was actually trying to do better in a different relationship rather than continuing to be a bad person.

It was nice hearing his apology and getting closure but I made it pretty clear I was happy with my boyfriend. It was healing to know that he at least seems to be trying to learn from everything I put into our relationship and all the time I spent. At least all the pain doesn’t feel like it was for nothing.

TLDR: Cheating ex reached out and asked to talk. Told me he regretted everything and is sorry. He told me he would be waiting if my new bf and I ever break up naturally. He seems to be trying to be a better person, happy for him but we’re done

Pics 4&5 A transcription of my ex’s final letter to me from when we broke up, kind of explaining his thoughts and giving insight to his emotions and perhaps why he did what he did.

Last Pic An example of how my current boyfriend treats me. Never settle for poor treatment, you could be missing out on the true love of your life who would never disrespect you!

AIO- husband upset that *I* was upset, he has blocked me and said we should ā€œcall itā€.I took notes about our original ar...
12/03/2025

AIO- husband upset that *I* was upset, he has blocked me and said we should ā€œcall itā€.

I took notes about our original argument earlier, as I swear to god the story always flips into something I am questioning:

After brunch we (I am 43f, he is 48m- together for 16 years) were heading home. He mentioned how his friends style had changed. I said it was probably his wife shopping for him. I mentioned getting a new wardrobe for him. He said ok, but I said you gotta give me your card bc it’s not cheap! and that I get him clothes randomly if I see something that he might like, or if I am thinking of him. He said that was not true, I only get him clothes on holidays or birthdays. Although I could not pinpoint an exact example at that time I said that he was incorrect, and I do try to grab stuff for him when I see something that makes me think of him. He then said that maybe I do that, but that I go out of my way when I do do that to make sure he knows I got him something. And that it was phishing, ā€œlook at this nice thing I did for you!ā€ Etc. that made me sad. I never am looking for anything like that. He said to ā€œtake it down a notchā€ and he at one point gestured my car we were driving, saying he did a nice thing by putting down the majority of the downpayment, 2 years ago. He makes 3 times what I do and I put down almost 2k myself.

Later we got home, and I asked about the vacuum, as he brought it down the day before. I asked if it was still downstairs. He said he still needed it. I didn’t say anything but wasn’t upset, I was trying to think what other housework I needed to do. He then also said I needed to calm down, that I was nagging, and that he wanted nothing to do with me that day. He claims I ā€œrolled my eyesā€ when he said he was using it, but I was just standing around thinking about what other chores to do.

I tried to explain but he wasn’t having it. He came behind me to hug me and said he wanted a nice day. I said I too wanted a good day, but what he said hurt my feelings. He said he tried to apologize, (the hugging) but I said that wasn’t apologizing. He then said he would never do that again, in anger. I said we needed counseling. He refused. He said he isn’t happy and we should call it, that I should try to find someone else that would put up with my bu****it

M(23) Living with NIGHTMARE Roommate F(29) … Help?I don’t know what else to do, I’ve reached my absolute limit. Me (23m)...
11/23/2025

M(23) Living with NIGHTMARE Roommate F(29) … Help?
I don’t know what else to do, I’ve reached my absolute limit. Me (23m) have been living with 1 roommate (21F) because we had mutual friends, both needed housing, and it just worked out. We’ve been living together for 8 months now and everything was fine in the beginning.

She doesn’t go to school or have a job, she DoorDashes to be able to pay rent and utilities while I’m in school and working full time. I keep to myself, I don’t like drama, which is why I initially decided to move in with her because I thought she was very quiet and chill as well. When we first moved in we had no issues because I was working and in school all day while she would be DoorDashing majority of the day. Recently I noticed she has been staying home more, not out working as much, but again that’s none of my business… until you can’t pay rent and utilities.

To add more context, a few months in she started trying to flirt and come on to me and I never once fed into it — I’m simply just not attracted to her. And now she decided completely flip the script and make it look like I was the one that ā€œcame on to herā€?

2 months ago she asked me to pay utilities because she couldn’t afford it but said she would pay me back as soon as she could. Then the next month came and she still couldn’t pay it back, so what did she do? Decided to come crying at my door about her finances and what a bad place she’s in and then proceeds to try and ā€œoffer herselfā€ in exchange for me paying her half 2 months in a row. I was very put off and immediately shut it down because I didn’t want to make things awkward between us so I just pretended like it never happened.

Fast forward to today I receive a text asking for me to pay her utilities AGAIN, and when I decide to stand my ground she is now trying to ā€œout me as gayā€ I don’t even know how to respond to this. I already contacted the landlord, but I don’t know what else to do, I’ve never been in a situation like this please help! We both have another FOUR months left on the lease what do I do ?!?!

11/22/2025

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11/21/2025

AITAH for wanting to walk away from my marriage and the child we were raising after finding out the child is biologically my husband's?

There's a lot to this and it's all newly revealed to me so I'm still processing and I'm sure I'll be all over the place. I'm so angry about all this.

My husband's sister adopted a child 4 years ago. She had talked before about being a single mom by choice and when her friend had a child she didn't want to raise she said it made sense to step in and offer to become the baby's mom. Everyone was supportive and welcomed the child into the family.

Two and a half years ago my husband's sister was diagnosed with MS. She unfortunately declined rapidly and asked us to take in her child and we agreed. We had not yet had children of our own at that point which made it easier. We made sure she still spend time with her child and she asked that we continue raising the child, and I'm saying the child to keep anonymity, no matter how bad she gets/if she dies. We agreed.

My husband never acted weird around the child. Never acted like he had some secret. He acted like an uncle willing to step in and raise his sister's child.

Recently his sister confessed to me that my husband was the biological father of this child. She said my husband and her best friend used to hook up occasionally and he did it again right before we got married and this child is the result of his infidelity. I was sick. She told me she couldn't keep lying to me because eventually it would come out and she wanted to minimize the damage. I confronted my husband and he denied it so I asked him to do a DNA test.

He's the father. There's no doubt. DNA confirmed he's the biological father.

He told me nothing happened since we were married and he loves me and he's sorry for what he did. He said it was a drunk night before our wedding and he would never do something like that again. Then he said he wanted us to be a family and offer to adopt his child and raise them as our own. He told me this doesn't have to end us.

I left the house and have been staying with my sister since the DNA results. I'm disgusted and I don't want to sign up for this. I know that baby is innocent but I now can only see what my husband did and I cannot imagine raising them and acting like their mom and keeping my husband in my life. My husband's sister has reached out to apologize multiple times and she told the rest of their family the truth also. My husband's parents have tried to contact me to get me back to my husband. They have told me I have a family now and I can't leave and especially not with their daughter unable to raise this baby again. I had to block them because their messages were blaming and shaming me more and more for not agreeing to marriage counseling and moving forward as a family.

I don't see a way back from this. But I have been in this child's life since birth and raised them for more than a year and a half. I just know I could never be a good mom to them knowing what I know. AITAH for wanting to divorce and walk away?

11/21/2025

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