Deepee

06/10/2025

04/28/2025

Test

04/28/2025

Love mechanical

04/28/2025

Note

04/28/2025

Customer:
This little piece fell off my car. Is it important?

Mechanic (dead serious):
Oh yeah. That's the anti-fall-apart clip.

Customer (panicking):
Anti-fall-apart?! So my car's falling apart?!

Mechanic (shrugging):
Technically... it started falling apart the day you bought it.

[Customer looks horrified.]

Mechanic (grabbing coffee mug and pointing to his motto on the wall):
See that?
"If it ain't leaking, it’s empty."
You're fine. Probably.

Customer:
So... how much to fix it?

Mechanic (cracking knuckles):
Depends. You want it done "right," "cheap," or "today"?
Pick two.

Customer (nervous):
Uh... right and cheap?

Mechanic (grinning wide):
See ya in 2027.

04/28/2025

Customer:
Hey, uh... my car is making a weird noise. It's like "clunk, clunk, clunk, kablooey!" every time I hit a bump.

Mechanic (wiping hands on greasy rag):
Perfect. That's the sound of character. You don't fix that — you appreciate it.

Customer:
No, seriously. I think something's wrong.

Mechanic (leaning in, whispering):
Listen, buddy. If your car's not making at least three weird noises, it's just waiting to attack. No news is bad news. Weird noises mean she's alive.

Customer (confused):..So you're saying it's fine?

Mechanic (grinning):
Nope. It’s probably a $3 part that's buried behind $2,000 worth of labor. Let's pop the hood and have a look.

[They walk to the car. Mechanic opens the hood.]

Mechanic (after one glance):
Yup. I see the problem. Your "flux capacitor" is low on... uh... rotational coolant.

Customer (suspicious):
There's no such thing.

Mechanic:
Exactly. And that's also a problem.

[Both stare awkwardly at the engine. Mechanic pulls out a hammer.]

Mechanic (cheerfully):
Step one: intimidation. Let's see if she respects authority.