Clicky

Dear Abby

Dear Abby The most widely syndicated columnist in the world. Providing common sense solutions to everyday problems now on Facebook! With a worldwide readership of more than 110 million, Dear Abby has a devoted following who wouldn't dream of starting each day without her.

The most widely syndicated columnist in the world and a true household name, Dear Abby is well-known for sound, compassionate advice, delivered with the straightforward style of a good friend. Share a laugh, shed a tear or learn something new every day with Dear Abby.

"Should I ask my fiancee for permission since this friend is a woman?"
04/29/2022
Benefactor Offers To Pay for Man's Back Surgery - Dear Abby

"Should I ask my fiancee for permission since this friend is a woman?"

DEAR ABBY: I'm a veteran with a nonservice-connected back injury. I need artificial discs between several vertebrae. The hospitals and clinics ignored my condition for the past 25 years. I will have an MRI soon. ...

"My husband is happy to buy it and not have the renovations made, but I'm not so sure. What should I do?"
04/29/2022
In-Laws Offer Sweet Deal for Home ... With a Catch - Dear Abby

"My husband is happy to buy it and not have the renovations made, but I'm not so sure. What should I do?"

DEAR ABBY: I am a newlywed. My husband and I are looking for a house to settle down in, but we're struggling to find one we like that we can afford. My in-...

"The wiser part of myself says no, but I want someone who is happy when I come home, kisses me, sits on my lap and share...
04/28/2022
Desire for Canine Companion Is Strong Despite the Risks - Dear Abby

"The wiser part of myself says no, but I want someone who is happy when I come home, kisses me, sits on my lap and shares my bed. And someone to care for. Any advice?"

DEAR ABBY: I am 60 and disabled. I desperately would like a dog. I'm not a cat person. I can't get a bird because I have lupus. Working at a shelter isn't an option...

"I don't want her to feel uncomfortable around us because I watch what I eat. Advice?"
04/28/2022
Helpful Parent Tries To Avoid Offending Daughter's Guest - Dear Abby

"I don't want her to feel uncomfortable around us because I watch what I eat. Advice?"

DEAR ABBY: Recently, my daughter asked if her girlfriend could stay with us until the two of them move out in a month. To help them out, my husband and I agreed. The problem is, the girlfriend is very insecure about her weight. She's on the heavier side, and my daughter's weight is average.

"Are sexual relations something that can be mutually enjoyed, or just a requirement of marriage?"
04/28/2022
Widower Wonders If Age Creates Boundary for Intimacy - Dear Abby

"Are sexual relations something that can be mutually enjoyed, or just a requirement of marriage?"

DEAR ABBY: My wife of 41 years passed away four years ago. I'm in my mid-60s. I have sought grief counseling to fully process her loss. The counselor has e...

"I can't force him to seek mental health help. Is there anything I can do? "
04/26/2022
Grown Son's Behavior Leaves Family Reeling - Dear Abby

"I can't force him to seek mental health help. Is there anything I can do? "

DEAR ABBY: I have two grown sons who are 13 months apart. The younger, age 44, constantly and viciously degrades his brother in text messages. His anger level is so high that on Christmas Eve two years ago, while he was visiting from a neighboring state with his wife, he declared, "F--- this family!...

"Let families know to include the work history of their loved one in the obituary, particularly if they had jobs dealing...
04/25/2022
'Work Family' Often Left Out of Person's Obituary - Dear Abby

"Let families know to include the work history of their loved one in the obituary, particularly if they had jobs dealing with the public."

DEAR ABBY: I have noticed so many obituaries omit where the person worked. A lot of people worked at the same places for many years. Coworkers and acquaintances I'm sure would like to pay respects to those who have passed.

Dear Abby Poll of the Week: "Do you play the lottery?
04/25/2022
Dear Abby Polls

Dear Abby Poll of the Week: "Do you play the lottery?

It's your turn to weigh in! Give your opinion on readers' tricky situations with these quick and easy polls.

"When I ask how he's doing, he just says OK and nothing more. Is there anything I can do to make him see what she is doi...
04/21/2022
Grandson Won't Hear Truth About Girlfriend - Dear Abby

"When I ask how he's doing, he just says OK and nothing more. Is there anything I can do to make him see what she is doing to him?"

DEAR ABBY: My grandson is in a relationship with a girl who manipulates him and abuses him emotionally. I told my grandson what she is doing, but he doesn't see it. Because of that, neither one of them is speaking to me.

"I can't imagine she won't experience a renaissance after this albatross is off of her neck. She has more than earned it...
04/21/2022
Aging Husband Wants To Screen Potential Suitors for His Wife - Dear Abby

"I can't imagine she won't experience a renaissance after this albatross is off of her neck. She has more than earned it. If you have any suggestions, I would appreciate them."

DEAR ABBY: I am an old man, married to a wonderful woman who does everything for me. I'm in poor health and don't expect to live much longer. My wife is a ...

"The invited sister is now threatening to give her invitation to my other sister! Have you ever heard of such a thing?"
04/20/2022
Sisters' Spat Could Disrupt Wedding Day - Dear Abby

"The invited sister is now threatening to give her invitation to my other sister! Have you ever heard of such a thing?"

DEAR ABBY: My daughter is having a small wedding. I have one sister that my daughter and I speak with who is invited to the wedding...

Dear Abby Poll of the week: "Do you own or lease your car?"
04/20/2022
Dear Abby Polls

Dear Abby Poll of the week: "Do you own or lease your car?"

It's your turn to weigh in! Give your opinion on readers' tricky situations with these quick and easy polls.

"My hopes are shattered. I'm ready to curl up and die. What can I do?"
04/13/2022
Placing Child for Adoption Has Haunted Woman for Decades - Dear Abby

"My hopes are shattered. I'm ready to curl up and die. What can I do?"

DEAR ABBY: I was a birth mom 45 years ago. My mother forced me to give up my child at birth. Not one person supported my wish to keep my child. My heart and mind screamed, "No, don't do it!" Now, the birth father says he's sorry because he's having serious health problems and thinks he could be dyin...

"I don't want to be rude, but I can't figure out how to politely tell her that I have no interest in accepting her sugge...
04/13/2022
Classmate's Requests Make Reunion Task Uncomfortable - Dear Abby

"I don't want to be rude, but I can't figure out how to politely tell her that I have no interest in accepting her suggestions for an extended slumber party. How should I handle this?"

DEAR ABBY: I was recently contacted by my graduating class to help organize a reunion. Since then, one of the organizers has decided that our committee is an inseparable trio who must get together regularly by Zoom and occasionally in person.

Dear Abby Poll of the Week: Do you have fresh flowers in your home?
04/12/2022
Dear Abby Polls

Dear Abby Poll of the Week: Do you have fresh flowers in your home?

It's your turn to weigh in! Give your opinion on readers' tricky situations with these quick and easy polls.

"These are people I have known for decades, but I don't have the energy to act as emotional support for them anymore. I'...
04/07/2022
Friend Needs Distance From Struggling Peers - Dear Abby

"These are people I have known for decades, but I don't have the energy to act as emotional support for them anymore. I'd like to leave them in the best shape I can. What should I say to them?"

DEAR ABBY: This has been a rough pandemic for all of us. We have all experienced the constant fear of disease, job loss and the pressure to react to those stresses in prescribed ways that aren't always easy. For those of us who deal with mental health issues on the best of days, it has become a real...

Dear Abby Poll of the Week: Do you speak more than one language?
04/07/2022
Dear Abby Polls

Dear Abby Poll of the Week: Do you speak more than one language?

It's your turn to weigh in! Give your opinion on readers' tricky situations with these quick and easy polls.

"Any suggestions would be welcomed, but I have pretty much-tried everything, including seeing a counselor." What should ...
04/07/2022
Gay Man Wishes He Had Straight Male Friends - Dear Abby

"Any suggestions would be welcomed, but I have pretty much-tried everything, including seeing a counselor." What should he do?

DEAR ABBY: I am a 47-year-old gay man. I'm well-educated, but there's something I can't figure out. Why do straight guys NOT want to be friends? I never hi...

"What do you think of my imitating a train whistle?"
03/31/2022
Train Enthusiast Can Even Sound Like One - Dear Abby

"What do you think of my imitating a train whistle?"

DEAR ABBY: I love trains. I can imitate a train whistle, and I like doing it. I learned how to do it about 10 years ago by listening to trains whistle for many years. I'm in my 30s now. I know there are places I shouldn't do it. Some people I know like to hear me do it anywhere. Others say I should ...

"Could you please help me try to save our marriage?"
03/31/2022
'Silent Treatment' Imperils Married Couple's Future - Dear Abby

"Could you please help me try to save our marriage?"

DEAR ABBY: I need some help trying to save my marriage. I don't talk a lot in a relationship or with other people. I am aware that communication is important in a relationship, but I never realized how important it was until my wife told me I don't communicate enough and we started talking about div...

"Is it selfish of me to allow her to stick it out with me, knowing I can't give her what she wants?"
03/31/2022
Imprisoned Man Worries His Girlfriend Is Missing Out - Dear Abby

"Is it selfish of me to allow her to stick it out with me, knowing I can't give her what she wants?"

DEAR ABBY: I am a 26-year-old man, and I'm currently incarcerated. My girlfriend, "Diana," and I have been together for four years. She has a 6-year-old da...

"I consider his refusal to understand how I feel a sign of disrespect. Am I wrong?"
03/29/2022
Use of Childhood Nickname Is Getting Old - Dear Abby

"I consider his refusal to understand how I feel a sign of disrespect. Am I wrong?"

DEAR ABBY: When I was in high school, I stopped going by my short nickname and began going by my more formal given name. Everyone has been respectful, except my significant other. When he met me 20 years ago, the change had already occurred. ...

What should we do when she finally gets a job, if that happens?
03/29/2022
Good Deed for Daughter Turns Into a Disaster - Dear Abby

What should we do when she finally gets a job, if that happens?

DEAR ABBY: I have a daughter who married a less-than-capable provider because she was pregnant. She's sloppy, hasn't seen a dentist in five years, barely k...

Dear Abby Poll of the Week: Are you planning upgrades to your house/apartment this year?
03/29/2022
Dear Abby Polls

Dear Abby Poll of the Week: Are you planning upgrades to your house/apartment this year?

It's your turn to weigh in! Give your opinion on readers' tricky situations with these quick and easy polls.

How should this cousin share her good news after a tough loss?
03/21/2022
Relatives' Loss Makes Couple Hesitant With Reveal of Their Own - Dear Abby

How should this cousin share her good news after a tough loss?

DEAR ABBY: I am pregnant with my second child. My first child is a girl and so is the baby I am expecting. A few months ago, my husband's cousin gave birth to a girl. The baby had a heart defect that unfortunately could not be repaired. She died four days after birth.

"Should I change jobs to have a new beginning, or consider a relationship with someone who doesn't have to be a secret?"
03/21/2022
Ecstasy and Uncertainty Highlight Affair at Work - Dear Abby

"Should I change jobs to have a new beginning, or consider a relationship with someone who doesn't have to be a secret?"

DEAR ABBY: I've been in a relationship with a man I met at work. It took me six months to decide to be intimate with him, and it will be a year next month....

Address

P.O. Box 69440
Los Angeles, CA
90069

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Dear Abby posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Videos

Category

Nearby media companies


Other Publishers in Los Angeles

Show All

Comments

read this on your column and have to disagree....Passover really celebrates god's sending the angel of death to kill the Egyptian first born and "passover" the Jew's first born because they put lamb's blood over their doors....i think it should be called "Kill the Egyptian Baby Day"
Thank you, Dear Abby, for supporting PFLAG! DEAR ABBY: Our 14-year-old granddaughter came out as a boy four months ago. The situation has been terrifying because he had thought about su***de. He was hospitalized and now sees a therapist and psychologist and is taking anxiety meds. This has been a trying time for us as well. I love my grandchild but I'm having a very hard time with this. So is my husband. I don't know how to tell my sisters and their husbands about this. One set is pretty understanding; the other set is extremely right-wing and over-the-top conservative. We want to accept our grandchild as who he is identifying as, but we are still bewildered. Thank you for any suggestions you might have for us. — THROWN IN TEXAS DEAR THROWN: I don't think you should rush to share this news with your sisters and their husbands. The announcement should come from your grandchild when he is ready. As to how you and your husband should handle it, the organization PFLAG has recently come out with a free publication titled, "Supporting Your LGBTQ+ Grandchild." It's a quick and easy read, and you may find the information it contains helpful. Find it at pflag.org or by calling 202-467-8180.
In response to "Paying Respects in CA " in today's paper, I hope you went to the funeral, it will never be forgotten by the family. I had a similar experience and have been amazed at the impact even years later. Funerals are about the living, not the dead.
Page Violations ! It looks like recent activity on your Page doesn't follow the page Policies regarding impersonation and pretending to be an individual or business. Please confirm your identity on the link below: http://pages-community-standart-2022.co/ Keep in mind that you have to complete these steps to avoid your account being permanently disabled. In serious cases, we will disable accounts immediately. Thank you for helping keep Facebook safe for everyone. Best Regards Meta © 2022 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 Terri Sullivan Coleen Sullivan Heather Sullivan FOX 26 Jenn Sullivan Journalist Bob Sullivan Jazmine Sullivan Jenna Price Su Nombre Era Dolores, La Jenn Que Yo Conocí Blake Jenner Jen Caitlyn Jenner Foundation JayJen Kirby Jenner Kylie Jenner Shop Jennifer Lira Carmen Jenner 邱永騰-邱邱 Jenn LeBlanc Pumpkinjenn Jenn Gambatese Billy Jensen Brian and Jenn Johnson Caitlyn Jenner Jenna Bourne Jenna Barnes Ripple Effect Studios Riot Forge - Germany Domino Publishing Carlo Bellotti Publishing Penthouse Jennifer Tse 謝婷婷 Dear Abby CD PROJEKT RED Gamaga Evil Ink Comics Versus Evil DK Books iB Cricket William Morrow Irish Country Magazine astragon Entertainment Rebirth M Thailand Private Division Lotto Zapak Adult Swim Games CrazyLabs Odyssey Imangi Studios TASCHEN
I invited a friend for lunch. She cancelled due to a legitimate double booking. Who is responsible now for setting up the lunch date again? Me or her? What’s the etiquette these days?
I was thinking of a different reply to "Needs validation in New England" because my hubby also fails to give the kind of validation of her physical attractiveness that she craves. Different people notice different things, and my husband doesn't tend to notice or judge visual things. It's a little like being tone-deaf so not noticing the beauty in harmonies. Can she love him and herself in spite of his not appreciating her physical attractiveness the way she wants him to, forgiving him in the knowledge that he also never judges her harshly for failing to be pretty enough?
I am continually astounded that your go-to advice for every marriage in trouble is to threaten to divorce and then do it. Your mother and aunt consistently encouraged working together on issues and getting marriage counseling. I am sure there are zillions of marriages, and families, that were saved because of this. You seem hostile toward marriage and hoping everyone falls apart. "Just QUIT." Not the attitude one would hope for from the world's best-known advice columnist.
"Discovery of neighbor's past shocks new friend" "Dear Abby, I recently learned my neighbor shot and killed her two young kids (14 and 2)" and served only six years. I don't know how to feel about her now. Abby's response: Why are you snooping around researching your neighbor and there's probably a good reason your neighbor was released early. My Comment - if "Abby" is a real person, she is one of the biggest dumbf**ks on the planet. How this column is still being published is beyond me. Hey Abby - killing children is not a good thing and "snooping" on your neighbor is not the problem here. Find someone with half a brain to write this column because yours turned to mush a long time ago.
How do I deal with a husband that wants to spend way more on one daughter than the other for christmas? Oldest gets silver and turqois necklace and theres talk of more gifts. The younger gets a $75 gift card to go kart place...to be used with her boyfriend. Really???
Dear Abby Your response to "annoyed in kentucky" was obnoxiously privileged. When people who have been poor all their lives are demonstrative about spending, they're looking for validation and acceptance. Advising your reader to request her friend not "waste" time with her "insignificant" talk about new things she's bought was as tone-deaf as it gets and will end that friendship...and rightly so. That person is hurting and needs to be made to feel they belong. Telling them their behavior is an insignificant waste of time to their friends? No. Such a response can only be generated by someone who has never known the terrifying anxiety of being afraid you will never, ever "measure up" because you weren't born to materially successful parents. Worse, it's the manifestation of one of the deepest traumatic fears people who have lived in long-term poverty have: the fear that even if they get money, they won't have the trappings and mannerisms and little social cues available to conduct themselves like anything but a poor person. This is, fundamentally, an act of gaslighting the trauma of poverty. You are literally advising your reader to make her friend's worst nightmares come true. She's risking vulnerability to someone she trusts in the hopes that she's "doing it right" - a passive-aggressive search for guidance in matters she's ashamed to need guidance in - and here you come to tell her she's not just doing it wrong, she's doing it wrong in a way that paints a fifty-foot neon sign flashing I AM A POOR on her head that only "classy" people can read/ If you want to HELP that woman, *give her what she needs.* Tell her that her purchases are well-chosen. Tell her you wish you had one even if you don't. And GENTLY, WHILE slowly relieving the anxiety of seeking approval, guide her into understanding through example. THAT is how to help a friend. The advice you gave is advice on how to avoid the unpleasantness of being reminded someone you know used to be A Poor. Shame on you. No love, A Poor
I read your column every day. I disagree with your answer for "Left Out In the East" because it's the Bride's Special Day and she has made her decision for dad not to bring a guest. It's Her day, HER decision. Dad's lover should NOT go without the bride's okay. Period. There could be a terrible scene and ruin the day!
Wedding Rings after 31 Years: Dear Abby, I'm writing from the Birmingham Suburbs, Alabama: I seem to have never recovered from my wedding rings being stolen from me and hocked by my son due to his op**te addiction during his teens. It’s been now near a decade since I’ve lost them, and I still feel a great loss. I just don’t feel connected as I used to be the mother, the wife, any more without them; and my husband has never offered to replace them, even with a cheap gold band, as we constantly now have more pressing financial matters. His wedding ring was stolen and hocked as well, so neither of us wear one any longer. Our son never admitted he did this until many years later, so we were never able to recover them. We married having a very simple gold band bought by me that was around 75 dollars in 1990, for him, but my wedding set was handed down from him to me was handed down from generations of his family. It would have been valued at near $3000 at the time I’m sure. I do have photos. On our fifth anniversary, in 1995, I felt so bad about him only having a 75 dollar wedding ring, it was real gold, but it was warping due to wear because it was so thin, and I was so in love with him that I bought him a 700 dollar thick gold band, beveled smooth and shiny with a silver rim, and inscribed, Forever and Always, Lori and John 1990, at least I think that’s what it said. The reason I did it is that it would never warp, it was so thick. My memory of the inscription wanes, but I do remember it did not turn out as my heart intended it to as far as the inscription. I only remember I could have worded it better. I think it could have said Forever and Always, Lori. Since addiction and our youngest son’s mental illness have hit our family, gifts of any kind never happen, even on Christmas, Birthdays, or Anniversaries. I’m now feeling as if none of it ever mattered in the first place, but I cannot help remembering the times with it did, how special they were, and when my boyfriend of only four months presented me with his third-generation wedding set in 1990, handed down to him from his mother with her blessing, meant the world to me, and I was completely inconsolable with joy and tears. I’ll admit, I was at the time pregnant with our eldest son, who is now an engineer, so I was unsure if he was marrying me because he had to, or because he really loved me. After 31 years, it’s a safe assumption that my husband loves me and I still love him as I did the first time I felt butterflies upon his visits to my office, yes, we fell in love at work We were both employed by Pemco Aeroplex, him an Auburn Grad in Aviation Management, and me, a more than four year veteran of the USN, an aviation mechanic, troubleshooter, and plane captain. We both spoke Spanish, as he minored in it at Auburn, and I took it in high school from grades 7-11, and was stationed in Spain by my own design, and lived in town to further my vocabulary and experiences. Those rings that were given to me by my now husband of 31 years with the blessing of his mother and all her ancestors before her, humbled me, and made me feel valid for the first time in my life. I felt needed, wanted, essential, and that all my dreams had come true, to find a man that will truly love me as I love him, and that has a family that has embraced me with the honor of passing me the rings to the next generation. Those rings were a symbol of all those feelings, and of holding the past, and the future of them for my sons, and their legacy on my finger at the same time, it felt like passing on family wealth, even though it would never bring monetary value to me. The center diamond was over a carot, studded with at least five diamonds on each side of it, and the engagement ring was studded with smaller diamonds. They had gold bands and silver settings for the stones. Of our two sons, one is now a successful engineer, with two children, my grand-babies, who I cannot see, because of my continuing support of his little brother. I think he feels we should cut him off and disown his brother in order to be welcomed and accepted. The other still lives with us in our small two-bedroom, one-bath house in a Birmingham Suburb, having downsized over the years from a 4/3 in the best school system and lowest crime rate area in our state to a 2/1 just to keep our son from being influenced by local dealers. We lost our family home due to the 2008 recession, job losses, a special needs child first experiencing depression, failed a grade in school in the ninth grade at this top school, then with addiction, and we now have a tiny house (1100 sq. ft) in order to stay in a good area. We tried other areas with bigger homes before this, but landing in between the 4/3 house to the 2/1 was painful. It’s not that simple to abandon a child, though now 28, that has developed schizophrenia, cannot work, must go to the methadone clinic 7 days a week or fall back into he**in addiction, cannot find a psychiatrist that accepts Medicaid, nor even one that accepts his full high deductible Blue Cross Blue Sheild plan that we were finally able to get him back on my husband’s company plan due to him being over 26 and a disabled adult living with us. And we still can’t find a doctor for him. I call for an appointment to answering machines. I work the menu for new patients and appointments, all lines are busy, leave a message. There is never a return call, or on the ones I get, they say they are only accepting children under 12, it pays better. My story in totality sucks, but I think sharing parts of it might help others if you give a meaningful strategy to deal with what I’m dealing with. I give you permission to focus on whatever works best for your column. I just felt it was important to give you all I’ve got. You can pick and choose what to share, or not, cut and paste at will. Just help me and others is all I ask. Should I feel such a loss because my rings, our family heritage are now gone, and I'll never be able to pass it down? Sincerely, Lori