10/21/2024
I was living beyond my means in Los Angeles, working as a psychotherapist and professor at Antioch while raising a young person. Writers, as you know, don’t stop writing. However, perhaps some undiagnosed ADHD and other external limitations slowed my ability to package, no less deliver manuscripts tailored to readers' needs. I was stuck in the wrong mindset, believing my next book had to be BIG, approved by a proper agent and publishing house—like my first books, published 30 years ago. Don’t ask how much time I wasted writing book proposals.
Asking the unconscious for a dream is like taking a psychoactive drug while getting a Tarot reading from a witch—if you’re sincere. The “archaic torso of Apollo” told me, in its way, that I must change my life. A few weeks before my 65th birthday, during the April 8 Solar Eclipse, I drove to Palm Springs to visit a friend, but with a larger purpose. I looked at some apartments, feeling uninspired by the small, “nice” but underwhelming spaces. On my way back to LA, I received a call about an opening near the quiet, sacred mountains—two huge patios looking out at pure nature. For a boy from the Bronx, it was like going to the moon. “Go,” said Apollo's voice.
That set off a chain reaction. Among the thousands of pages I’d written was a lovely tale of working with four gay men in group therapy, confronting resistance around talking about s*x—the raw, x-***ed stuff. My clients needed a book about s*x, internalized homophobia, and our connections to the ancients. Mentors like David Groff and Michael Wolfe had set me on this path, and I had started building a large following on Substack. I turned to one of my dearest friends, Felice Picano, for advice about the four gay men. “Write a novel that’s secretly a guide for the perplexed,” he said. “Make the guys come alive, like in your therapy sessions. If you want to introduce the Eros from Plato’s “Symposium,” why not also take place with the four guys in your imagination?” I just finished that 120-manuscript book, which I can’t wait to share with you before the end of the year, just as “Sacred Lips of the Bronx” will be republished.
To jump-start my, I decided to self-publish a few things. I looked at some of the emails I’d written to students and clients over the years—questions about therapy, finding a therapist, dealing with insurance, and how therapy can be q***r, LGBTQ-affirmative, and anti-racist.
I made an E-book from it, titled How and “Why to Find a Therapist: A Guide to Navigating the Complexities of Mental Health Care and Transforming Your Life.” It’s a deal at $5.99! Two young social media whiz kids, Ally Noel, and Maziah Brown, helped me design the book.
It’s terribly practical, but if you buy it—and I hope you do, support your local author-therapist—you’ll find some nuggets about how I view q***r therapy as a form of social activism.
This is a shameless plug, but it’s not just that. As you know, I try to write forward-looking, deeply personal, practical, and radical things--even this simple e-book is anti-authoritarian. I also like the idea that I took back the reins regarding self-publishing. “MindMattersBooks,” baby!
My role models include psychoanalysts like Sandor Ferenczi, who believed that the fight against authoritarianism starts by altering the structures of oppression inside the mind itself.