Crappy Classics

Crappy Classics Crappy Classics is devoted to dubious pleasures of pop culture from the past to the near present. Your humble administrator Dukey Flyswatter.

Crappy Classics covers film,trends,literature,music and activities that stray from the norm or come from a bygone age where the ethic seems askew by todays standards.

12/05/2017
Frankenstein's Daughter (1958) IMDb 3.8✩

Frankenstein's Daughter. Hawaiian born director Richard E. Cunha made a handful of rock bottom horror films in the late 50's geared towards kids and teens. As cheesy as they are kids back then got their money's worth full of crazy plots and multiple monsters they didn't have to wait until the end for. This one starts right out of the gate. Frankenstein;s great grandson cooks up not one but three bug eyed babes. The final one being played by a man.

Dr. Frankenstein's insane grandson attempts to create horrible monsters in modern day L.A. Director: Richard E. Cunha (as Richard Cunha) Writer: H.E. Barrie ...

11/18/2017
She Devil (1957) Subtítulos en Español Película Completa

Such a weird mix of Film Noir femme fatale movies and low rent sci-fi. She Devil is about a terminally ill woman given a wonder drug distilled from a fruit fly that cures her,makes her strong and turns her into a vicious sociopath. She can commit any crime she wants and eye witnesses can'r nail her because she can change her hair color instantly by will and instinct. Quite funny at times.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVGVHx-z25c

Material audiovisual realizado entre los años 1950 y 1959. Official video content provided by Orion Home Video or one of its authorized agents. More clips, p...

11/12/2017
Invasion of the Bee Girls

I remember seeing this at my first San Diego Comic Con at The El Cortez. Written by Nicholas Meyer. Beware it's R Rated.

A powerful cosmic force is turning Earth women into queen bees who kill men by wearing them out s*xually.Visit DRELB.COM, for more rare cult movies like this...

11/10/2017
The Twilight People (1972) - John Ashley, Pat Woodell, Jan Merlin - Feature (Adventure, Horror, Sci-Fi) - Video Dailymotion

CHeese A rama. Sexy Pam Grier growls and hisses as the Panther WOman in yet another FIlipino rip off of Dr. Moreau. Props to the gnarly Bat Boy.

The Twilight People (1972) PG | 1h 24min | Adventure, Horror, Sci-Fi | June 1972 (USA) A kidnapped diver is taken to an island inhabited by a mad scientist and his half-animal, half-human creations. Director: Eddie Romero Writers: Eddie Romero, Jerome Small Stars: John Ashley, Pat Woodell, Jan Merli...

11/08/2017
Attack of the Beast Creatures

Fabsolutely friggin' craptastic flick featuring hordes of sh*tty knock offs of the possessed Zuni Warrior Doll in Trilogy Terror TV movie with Karen Black. That movie was great . This one is bad in the best way possible.Enjoy.

11/06/2017
Terror is a Man 1959 aka Blood Creature

First of many FIlipino knock offs based on H.G. Wells Island Of Dr. Moreau. Not too bad considering it's age thanks to moody black and white photography and a good performance from Francis Lederer as the mad doctor. Swedish pin up Greta Thyson isn't much of an actress but she is easy on the eyes and very curvy.

No, this isn't a Val Lewton/Jacques Tourneur production, though you might be forgiven for thinking that. Terror is a Man (aka Blood Creature) has the reputat...

Was going to post link to Invasion Of Star Creatures But they all got deleted. This ta**ry color remake of Invasion Of T...
11/01/2017
Attack Of The Eye Creatures 1965

Was going to post link to Invasion Of Star Creatures But they all got deleted. This ta**ry color remake of Invasion Of THe Saucermen isn't as good/./bad but it has it's moments.

The Eye Creatures (also known as Attack of the Eye Creatures, or Attack of the The Eye Creatures from a production error) is a 1965 science-fiction film abou...

10/26/2017
Voyage to the bottom of the sea:The Deadly Dolls

I was looking through my master list of DVD burns for something especially crappy for this 2017 Samhain season. My mind went "Tilt!" when I ran across this title. See if you don't agree. It seems like at this point in the series they were jumping the shark every other week. Vincent Price makes it extra dandy.
Dukey Flyswatter

Season 4, Episode 2. Nelson and Crane fight a master puppeteer (Vincent Price!) in one of the most bizarre episodes of the series.

10/12/2017
MST3K - S01E06 - The Crawling Hand

I was looking for the OG version as it's so lame brained it almost works without the riffing but Mike and the boys do a bang up job on this plus I couldn't find an unaltered sound version. It's an almost perfect bad movie. It also has the song Bird Is The Word by the Rivingtons and that's a big thumbs up in my little black book.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQsQFijFRkg

"The hand of an exploded astronaut takes on a life of its own in this horror film that begins when the hand is discovered near the crash site by a naive youn...

10/10/2017
Invisible Invaders (1959) - Video Dailymotion

Here at Crappy Classics we revel in the shoddy and the naughty. Please invite your friends over to discuss and critique that which mocks itself or gives you the finger after that quick cash grab. Here aliens take over dead people to rule the world.Ed Wood concept anyone? Also the zombies in this look a lot like the ones in THe Last Man On Earth and Night Of The Living Dead. Coincidence. Good goofy movie.

An army of unseen aliens arrive from their base on our Moon, taking possession of the recently-departed in their low-budget plan to conquer the Earth. John Carradine is the deceased scientist who is now their leader, as corpses wander the countryside, creating havoc and adding to their ranks with th...

10/04/2017
Fritz the Cat (1972) PART 1 - Video Dailymotion

Your Crappy Classic for the evening is Fritz The Cat. Noted for being the first X rated feature length cartoon Fritz doesn't really capture the irony of R. Crumbs womanizing anti hero, It has a few good set pieces but often it's satire falls flat like the Jewish pig sequence and most of the scenes in Harlem are too contrite for a serious message. The earlier scenes in the movie like the bathtub o**y is when it works best and when you break it down it doesn't have as much s*x as the average Student Nurse or Cheerleader movie. Still,as a teen I smoked out to it a dozen times laughing at parts but always wishing it was funnier.
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1jcfr

1972 animated film written and directed by Ralph Bakshi.

If they made the frogs giant in the final act that would have been something but noooooooooooo. Instead we have spiders,...
09/30/2017
Frogs 1972

If they made the frogs giant in the final act that would have been something but noooooooooooo. Instead we have spiders,snakes,lizards and toads from all over the world living in one Florida habitat and have them bumping off character after character after they have made themselves vulnerable in an extremely ludicrous fashion. Unless you have a snake or spider phobia this will do nothing for you in the way of chills but it is entertaining. I've seen it around ten times. The cast plays it straight and there are a few decent performances from Sam Elliot and Ray Milland but they can't save you from the fact that you've been swindled by a drive-in cash grabber.
Dukey Flyswatter.

sam elliott, ...animals killing people..

09/29/2017
Teenage Caveman [1958] - Public Domain Adventure/Sci-fi

THe ending of this is so ironic it could have been written by a ten year old Rod Serling. Stoned or sober you'll have a good time with this.

Don't let the bad title or the bad press fool you; this is a darn good film with a great twist ending! Highly imaginative, well acted and taking itself very ...

09/27/2017
ShoutFactoryTV : Watch Cannibal Girls

Just got finished watching Cannibal Girls for maybe the 5th time. The posters and trailers don't hip you as to so much time is spent with little silly pieces of business. Probably because most of the cast had improv training at the Second City Theater troupe. I saw this with another cannibal film called Raw Meat ,the American cut of Deathline. That's a much better film.I'm not sure if it's in this copy but whenever a gruesome or s*xual scene came on the scree you were supposed to avert your eyes if you are the squeamish type. Most of you are going to laugh or yawn but not get too grossed out. What's so surprising about this film is that despite the stabbing and gouging and ogling of breasts this film has a easy going feel for an American International pick up. If you get the see the DVD check out the interview with the director Ivan Reitman(Ghostbusters). It's a hoot. EUgene Levy has some funny stuff too but he also comes off as being kind of snotty in real like.

Eugene Levy and Andrea Martin star in this Canadian horror spoof as a couple on a romantic holiday who settle into a quaint little bed-and-breakfast run by a trio of flesh-eating ladies who fancy t...

09/19/2017
Death Smiles on a Murderer (1973) - Full Movie

Death Smiles At A Murderer (Other titles too) is a hot mess of a film with some meandering but nicely shot passages. The plot makes little sense until hindsight or until someone else explains it to you as in my case. There's beautiful women and several over the top and cheesy gore effects that satisfy while you laugh. It's an adult film so NSFW and don't bother if you are offended by nudity. Not that most of you weirdos will mind but I got to cover my ass. I present the full link under the Fair Usage Act.
Dukey Flyswatter

NETFLIX FREE 1 Year subscription: http://netflix-us.ga Horror | Mystery Writing credits: Joe D'Amato - screenplay, story Claudio Bernabei - screenplay (as C....

09/17/2017
Circus of Horrors - FULL Movie (1960) - Video Dailymotion

Circus Of Horrors 1960. I was six years old when I saw the trailer for this sandwiched between a Jerry Lewis Double Feature. What were they thinking? That was MPAA rated trailers for specific audiences. THe preview alone scared the fluffernutter out of ,most of us but we still sort of wanted to see it even though it was considered "Rough Trade" for it's day. Headliner Anton Differing usually played mad doctors or N***s. Here his portrayal gleans a bit of both leaving lots of room for layers of s*x and sa**sm. The technicolor and direction are for above standard for chillers of this ilk and the blood is less red paint like than other current British horror films of the 60's. THe acting ranges from to good to ludicrous but the film is never dull. Donald Pleasance manages to keep up his acting chops in the midst of being mauled to death by a guy in a very phony bear suit. The Brief death by lion suit that looks like it was tailored for Bert Lahr (Wizard Of Oz) is also a hoot but the close ups of the bloody aftermath of all of the deaths are right on target. This is an exploitation film in the same vein as Horrors Of The Black and was produced by Herman Cohen as well. If only they could have fit Michael Gough (Alfred in Keaton's Batman) it would have been nearly perfect rivaling Hammer FIlm's best efforts. Differing plays Rossiter an unethical plastic surgeon who has just botched a job on a vein socialite making her face look like a plate of scrambled eggs which immediately drives her batty. Escaping the law Rossiter and his cohorts stumble upon a poor circus and vows to restore the face of the owner's scarred child if he can be part owner of the circus, When the drunken proprietor (Pleasance) gets to drunk and cuddly with Bosco the dancing bear Rossiter provides too little help and the tired circus is his perfect front for employing disfigured criminals and harlots whom he makes beautiful and teaches them how to be trapeze artists and the like that is until they get ungrateful or want to leave and marry promoting the many accidents to follow, CIrcus Of Horrors is akin to Grand Guignol British style and along with a few unintentional laughs is full of rousing blood and thunder plus you get to see "cheeky monkeys" and other bona fide circus acts. Most of Herman Cohen's continental horror films are pretty good up until he made Trog which is so bad it's in class of it's own. If you like this film or the review please forward it to your mates so I can amass more subscribers. THe more I have the more time I'll devote to it in between Haunted Garage band stuff.
Lastly: I do not own this film nor do I receive money for it. I present it under the fair usage act for purposes of education and discussion with other fans and writers,filmmakers etc. If there is any problem I will take it down immediately.
Dukey Flyswatter.
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2pheox

In 1947 England, a plastic surgeon must beat a hasty retreat to France when one of his patients has ghastly problems with her surgery. Once there, he operates on a circus owner's daughter, deformed by bombs from the war. Later he becomes the owner of the circus, and continues transforming disfigured...

09/15/2017
The Legend Of The 7 Golden Vampires 1974

Hammer films were on their last legs or bat wings to be precise to liven up their Gothic Horrors with the Kung Fu of the Shaw Brothers. While the movie is loony enough to hold your interest and elicit unintentional hoots and hollers it bombed pretty hard everywhere except Eastern countries thus pounding the last nail in the coffin for the British studio. The Shaw brothers would hang on much longer but eventually centered on Soap Operas. While the Orient Locales are pretty and the English cast cast plays it straight with a stiff upper lip no matter how ridiculous the plot gets. It's weakest link is obviously the Kung-Fu which there is quite a bit of but it's all hand to hand to feet ground work and no wire work to push it over the top and keep it wedged in a fantasy domain that Christopher found too idiotic when he read the script and bowed out. A black Magic Priest from China makes a pilgrimage to Transylvania to enlist the aid of Dracula to resurrect The 7 Golden Vampires. Drac has been in self imposed exile and it's a good thing because he looks like a $20.00 w***e with his thick eyebrow pencil,pancake and thick red lipstick. Dracula assumes the form of the Chinese priest and we jump forward a hundred years to 1904 and witness Dr, Van Helsing trying to convince Hong Kong students that vampires exist. A clan of 7 brothers and their 1 sister come from the province where the Golden Vamps are now wreaking havoc and ra**ng the women then putting their blood in a boiling pot. Hammer production usually fakey red paint blood but the Shaw Brothers made sure it was violent enough and titillating to meet their standards . In hind sight this film ifs far more violent and s*xuall than most of Hammers previous films except maybe The Vampire Lovers. Get your self some microwaveable egg rolls and enjoy.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u51qgNCyPAE

The Legend Of The 7 Golden Vampires 1974 David Chiang - Peter Cushing - Shih Szu. Directed by: Roy Ward Baker. A.K.A. The Seven Brothers vs Dracula. Kung Fu ...

I'll be posting the link in about 15 minutes. Until then enjoy this display of fine art.
09/15/2017

I'll be posting the link in about 15 minutes. Until then enjoy this display of fine art.

Love the movie Invasion Of The Saucermen so much I wrote song Little Green Men about it but I couldn;t stop there. Noooo...
09/11/2017

Love the movie Invasion Of The Saucermen so much I wrote song Little Green Men about it but I couldn;t stop there. Nooooooooooooooo. Here is the complete outline of the wrap around half sleeve. Color comes in a few weeks when the underside is healed. Graham at Purple Panther on Sunset rocked it out of the galaxy.

09/08/2017
The Human V***r 1960 : Free Download & Streaming : Internet Archive

Pretty cool early Toho sci-fi that's not too crappy but the translation of the human v***r character comes out as "The Gas Man" everytime they say it and that's quite a bit.you will giggle. Pretty good movie though.

A librarian is subject to a scientific experiment which goes wrong and transforms him into 'The Human Vapour'. He uses his new ability to rob banks to fund the...

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