The Hake Report

08/15/2026

Bold libel. Even Obama’s Eric Holder’s DOJ was forced to admit former Officer Darren Wilson was completely innocent and justified, and that Mike Brown was the extreme aggressor (not in so many words, ofc).

Mike Brown should still be with us today.

But 12 years ago this week, he was murdered by a police officer in Ferguson. It sparked protests across the country, but not enough change was made. In 2020, George Floyd and Breonna Taylor were killed, and thousands of protestors marched against police brutality because Black lives matter.

We STILL need real change.

Police have already killed at least 770 people this year, including 1-year-old Kohen Wiley, Corey Ruiz, and Derek Jordan. I continue to fight for justice and an end to white supremacy, police violence, and mass incarceration.

08/07/2026

Mind Playing Tricks | Obama Deportations. Bigfoot Callers. Moon Meme Debate | HAKE Fri 8/7/26

Obama's "deportations." America's protection. Is Bigfoot a cryptid, interdimensional, or imaginary? What is the spiritual world? Moon zoom-in: plane vs ISS space denier propaganda meme discussion.

The Hake Report, Friday, August 7, 2026 AD

TIMESTAMPS
0:00:00 Start, The Fallen State TV, Disclaimer, Ads
0:13:06 Moon silhouette meme
0:14:18 Intro: AJ Gallardo. S/O Get a Job 🎶
0:16:39 Jeff: Obama's numbers. USA protecting world. 📞
0:25:34 Obama numbers per Grok
0:29:54 Terri: Scott Carpenter, Crytpids, Bigfoot, spiritual activity 📞
0:49:04 Terri: Haunting, "Am I crazy?" Parents never married, "b****rd"
0:53:58 Terri: Scott Carpenter Christian, Bigfoot are Nephilim
0:55:34 Brady: Nephilim, Giant of Kandahar, I have 150lb arrowheads 📞
1:05:36 Brady: .22 revolver works!
1:10:21 Rob: Moon meme: Plane, ISS 📞
1:35:04 Rob: BitChute astronaut footage
1:40:08 Michael & Superchats 📞
1:52:52 Brandi: Another Bigfooter tip 📞 Bye!

📝 BLOG: https://www.thehakereport.com/blog/2026/8/7/hake-fri-8726

🎧 SUBSTACK: https://thehakereport.substack.com/p/mind-playing-tricks-obama-deportations

HAKE NEWS / JLP: https://www.thehakereport.com/jlp-news/2026/8/7/jlp-fri-8726

–

📞 CALL HAKE: 888-775-3773 (Mon-Fri 9-11a PT / 11-1p CT / 12-2p ET) https://thehakereport.com/show

Links https://linktr.ee/thehakereport

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08/06/2026

"Peace Being Robbed from Earth" | 2A Wisdom. Evolution & Bible. Mind Conditioning | HAKE Thu 8/6/26

Twin Falls In-N-Out & Second Amendment discussion. "Peace is being robbed from the earth." Modern-Day Debate: Evolution compatible with Bible? Celsius vs Fahrenheit. Moon, ISS, & plane meme again.

The Hake Report, Thursday, August 6, 2026 AD

TIMESTAMPS
0:00:00 Start / Disclaimer
0:04:45 Shoutout: Members, Modern Day-Debate 💰
0:06:09 Nice space drawings. Sun footage
0:10:02 Intro: Hey, guys! 🎶
0:11:37 Twin Falls, ID, In-N-Out (Wikipedia)
0:19:01 2013 Joe Biden on shotgun vs AR-15 🎥
0:21:17 Tyler in IA: Gun-free zones? Iowa, Lincoln Lewis. 📞
0:29:01 David: Biden the meme. Shotgun history 📞
0:31:56 David: Crimes in FL and elsewhere
0:37:23 David: 13yo daughter story; More stories, speculation
0:46:24 David: Peace being robbed from Earth
0:51:31 Brady: Quit distilled spirits, origin of term 📞
0:57:57 Brady: Wear it on your hip; Lake Mead, Mojave
1:04:53 Upbeat Americana, "It's Time..." Thanks, Jake! 🎶
1:09:35 Allen: .22. Evolution. Degradation. Old days vs now 📞
1:24:16 Coco: Went out recently 📞
1:32:01 Michael: Celsius over Fahrenheit. C'mon, Jermaine! 📞
1:37:40 Supers & shoutouts 💰
1:41:47 William 7: Strayed Catholic; Children & God's laws 📞
1:50:20 Rob: Planes per football field, ISS & moon 📞
1:54:16 Outro 👋

📝 BLOG: https://www.thehakereport.com/blog/2026/8/6/hake-thu-8626

🎧 SUBSTACK: https://thehakereport.substack.com/p/peace-being-robbed-from-earth-2a

HAKE NEWS / JLP: https://www.thehakereport.com/jlp-news/2026/8/6/jlp-thu-8626

–

📞 CALL HAKE: 888-775-3773 (Mon-Fri 9-11a PT / 11-1p CT / 12-2p ET) https://thehakereport.com/show

Links https://linktr.ee/thehakereport

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08/05/2026

Would You Fire Him? | $10 Icy Drink. Moon Crash. Ghost Stories. Judging Trump | HAKE Wed 8/5/26

AI on arson suspect. Work won't reimburse my drink! Caller's sasquatch calls. Moon crash, ISS, & satellite denial. Haunted house and broken toes. Expectations and judgment on Trump.

The Hake Report, Wednesday, August 5, 2026 AD

TIMESTAMPS
0:00:00 Start / Disclaimer
0:02:58 Arson suspect, AI hallucination
0:13:41 Intro: Thanks, Jake! 🎶
0:15:16 Jermaine bought drink cuz no A/C, no reimbursement! 📞
0:39:46 Allen: JLP books. Voter ladies power tripping? 📞
0:48:56 Alex: Crack passenger windows 📞
0:52:53 Alex on In-N-Out shooting
0:58:55 Alex Sasquatch calls; Stone Cold Steve Austin
1:00:19 Rob: Ball moon? Falcon 9 crash? Explain that! 📞
1:16:58 Brady: Space, demons, broken toes, hockey 📞
1:35:50 Supers & chat shoutouts 💰
1:39:04 Coffees: Expectations on Trump. Tax news, MO, CA 💰
1:46:06 Popcorn: Trump leeway? BLM's effect on the soul 💰
1:50:51 Shawn: Vernon Jordan: Vernon Can Read! 📞
1:54:17 Outro 👋

📝 BLOG: https://www.thehakereport.com/blog/2026/8/5/hake-wed-8526

🎧 SUBSTACK: https://thehakereport.substack.com/p/would-you-fire-him-10-icy-drink-moon

HAKE NEWS / JLP: https://www.thehakereport.com/jlp-news/2026/8/5/jlp-wed-8526

🥊 PUNCHIE TV: https://www.thehakereport.com/punchietv/2026/8/5/punchie-tv-ep-099nbsp

–

📞 CALL HAKE: 888-775-3773 (Mon-Fri 9-11a PT / 11-1p CT / 12-2p ET) https://thehakereport.com/show

Links https://linktr.ee/thehakereport

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08/04/2026

Fight Evil, Make It Worse | Take No Stand? AI on Immigration. Aisha on Muhammad | HAKE Tue 8/4/26

YouTube & X glitch. Duplicity: Iran or Trump reflecting pool? "Zenny Tuesday": Hake won't take a stand. Should he? Illegal population growth 1980-2016, per AI. Aisha narrated Hadiths about Muhammad!

The Hake Report, Tuesday, August 4, 2026 AD

TIMESTAMPS
0:00:00 Very rough start / Disclaimer
0:05:29 Popcorn: BLM support? Deny Christ? AI info?
0:07:51 Duplicitous Iran? Reflecting Pool fail?
0:15:45 Intro: Good morning, James! 🎶
0:16:51 Zenny: Tariff refunds; Trump, Biden, Obama immigration 📞
0:40:15 Brandon: You won't take a stance 📞
1:01:15 Cal: Patience. History. Christianity. 📞
1:11:16 Cal: Odyssey?
1:14:17 Supers: Never BLM? Illegal fact check. 💰
1:26:19 Anthony: Aisha my fave Muslim told on Muhammad 📞
1:35:27 Anthony: Miracle marriage? Joseph Smith. Polygamy?
1:39:39 Anthony: Satisfied with Trump
1:40:57 Brady: Don’t defend Muhammad & Lindsey Graham 📞
1:50:20 John in KY: You think Trump can do no wrong, he has an ego 📞
1:53:38 Outro 👋

📝 BLOG: https://www.thehakereport.com/blog/2026/8/4/hake-tue-8426

🎧 SUBSTACK: https://thehakereport.substack.com/p/fight-evil-make-it-worse-take-no

HAKE NEWS / JLP: https://www.thehakereport.com/jlp-news/2026/8/4/jlp-tue-8426

–

📞 CALL HAKE: 888-775-3773 (Mon-Fri 9-11a PT / 11-1p CT / 12-2p ET) https://thehakereport.com/show

Links https://linktr.ee/thehakereport

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08/03/2026

Men's History Theories | We Do Bigfoot Calls. Moon Crash. BLM Bodycams. 47's Term? | HAKE Mon 8/3/26

It's August! Midge patties. Rate our sasquatch noises: 1-10? SpaceX to crash into Moon on accident! Caller laughs at terrible bodycam story! BLM Q's. Trump-Iran: in over his head? 1 in 3 Dems pro-DSA?

The Hake Report, Monday, August 3, 2026 AD

TIMESTAMPS
0:00:00 Start / Disclaimer
0:04:21 Intro: Hey, guys!
0:08:36 Alex: mosquito burgers 🦟
0:13:35 Alex: Sasquatch calls 🫈
0:15:38 News: anti-weaponization fund and weaponization history
0:21:15 Brady: Bigfoot call. 📞
0:29:40 David: "Snake" found "Dack"; Capricorn One 📞
0:38:33 David shoutout to men who built bridges, buildings
0:43:42 News.... Greece
0:46:56 SpaceX rocket to crash into the moon
0:52:55 Bobby: Moon rang like a bell. Antarctica conspiracies 📞
0:58:11 Bobby: Men's History: Floyd-inspired bodycams
1:06:41 X live finally smh
1:08:01 Popcorn: BLM confusion 💰
1:16:43 Jamie on control and George Floyd tee 💰
1:19:28 Hessian Hyena: 💰
1:26:22 Belgian Malinois 🐕
1:32:45 John: James 1 out of 10. Alex: 8. 📞
1:34:28 John: War with Iran: Trump in over his head?
1:41:53 Naysayers don't know! Bibi may be right. Boomers too!
1:46:19 Popcorn follow-up on BLM & JLP 💰
1:48:41 Rick: Church topic: If someone spit in your face 📞
1:53:53 Outro 👋

📝 BLOG: https://www.thehakereport.com/blog/2026/8/3/hake-mon-8326

🎧 SUBSTACK: https://thehakereport.substack.com/p/mens-history-theories-we-do-bigfoot

HAKE NEWS / JLP: https://www.thehakereport.com/jlp-news/2026/8/3/jlp-mon-8326

–

📞 CALL HAKE: 888-775-3773 (Mon-Fri 9-11a PT / 11-1p CT / 12-2p ET) https://thehakereport.com/show

Links https://linktr.ee/thehakereport

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07/31/2026

Real American Heroes | Dr. Fauci, Charlie Kirk, History, Friends, American Way | HAKE Fri 7/31/26

Last day of July history. Drama: Dr. Fauci pleads the 5th. Tyler Robinson–Charlie Kirk trial. Wife & 6 children. American way: Live outside means? Lifeguard hero. Inaccuracy in the direction of truth?

The Hake Report, Friday, July 31, 2026 AD

TIMESTAMPS
0:00:00 Start / Disclaimer
0:01:30 Super surge in spain 💰
0:13:34 Intro: Hey, guys! Arachnophobia, Tarantula Hawk 🎶
0:17:06 Mr. Pink: Dr. Fauci 📞
0:32:09 Mr. Pink: Tyler Robinson
0:36:55 Mr. Pink: Hake conspiracies
0:38:47 Bobby: Muhammad defense, Aisha 📞
0:45:58 Bobby: Charlie Kirk's "friend"
0:49:12 Bobby: SAVE Act, US-Israel collab
0:51:31 David: Muslims, Gov't, Ladies 📞
0:57:05 David: Led Zeppelin story. RIP John Bonham
0:59:55 David: Jerry "Mad Dog" Shriver; David "The Ghost" Casper
1:02:23 David: Father, wife, six children; American Way
1:05:13 David: Fauci pleading the 5th, "caring"
1:08:36 David: Obama era Great Depression
1:09:32 David: 5th grade friend story; review
1:14:38 Supers 💰
1:18:18 CLIP: Future Prez on AI 🎥
1:20:28 Super continue
1:24:55 CLIP: Hero lifeguard video 🎥
1:26:51 Popcorn: Defunded the police?
1:30:40 Popcorn: Breitbart
1:32:58 Other supers... TFS next
1:38:09 Rob: Kary B Mullis 📞
1:41:07 Rob: FE: Sun & moon. Charlie Kirk: "alive"?
1:44:08 Ronnie: Spheres? Jesus' prayer. Thomas Paine 📞
1:48:21 Brady: Love Grandpas & Palestinians, Fauci 📞
1:51:49 Allen: JLP. Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz. NOT Newton! 📞
1:54:42 Outro 👋

📝 BLOG: https://www.thehakereport.com/blog/2026/7/31/hake-fri-73126

🎧 SUBSTACK: https://thehakereport.substack.com/p/real-american-heroes-dr-fauci-charlie

HAKE NEWS / JLP: https://www.thehakereport.com/jlp-news/2026/7/31/jlp-fri-73126

–

📞 CALL HAKE: 888-775-3773 (Mon-Fri 9-11a PT / 11-1p CT / 12-2p ET) https://thehakereport.com/show

Links https://linktr.ee/thehakereport

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07/30/2026

Can-Do Sad Pill | Ella Langley, Colin Gray, Trump Haters, Sasquatch, Stick Horse | HAKE Thu 7/30/26

Congrats Ella Langley. Trump black-pillers all doom & gloom over Iran. "Kill a few chickens to scare the monkeys." Colin Gray sentenced in son Colt's crime. Celebrate hobby horses & Sasquatch calls.

The Hake Report, Thursday, July 30, 2026 AD

TIMESTAMPS
0:00:00 Start / Disclaimer
0:02:41 X started late. FE disk (spelling?) YT member emoji sticker
0:06:30 WHM... Jake Hudson, Ella Langley, Colin Gray,
0:11:01 Intro: Jake! Hey, guys! JLP shops
0:13:40 Michael: Why is the sun big in Africa, small in Canada? 📞
0:21:20 Michael: Israel & peace deals? Trump's dilemma.
0:29:03 Michael: Epstein files; Comparison Trump vs 100 years ago
0:31:13 Michael: 10 years ago vs today: Cynical now
0:39:04 Michael: Sen. John Kennedy (R-LA) quote
0:40:27 John/KY: WHM 📞
0:46:44 Supers: Michael FE 💰
0:50:42 Eric & Jamie: Lifeguard, Chili dog, JLP song 💰
0:58:42 Popcorn: MAGA divide Covid 💰
1:04:15 William III: Middle East, s/o women in history 📞
1:14:52 William III on the Pacific coast events
1:16:46 Brady: Mehiho, Iran update 📞
1:25:24 Brady: different generations
1:34:10 Supers: Hake tees 💰
1:39:20 Colin Gray sentenced 15 years for son's crime
1:42:46 William 7: eight inches per mile squared 📞
1:53:39 Outro 👋

📝 BLOG: https://www.thehakereport.com/blog/2026/7/30/hake-thu-73026

🎧 SUBSTACK: https://thehakereport.substack.com/p/can-do-sad-pill-ella-langley-colin

HAKE NEWS / JLP: https://www.thehakereport.com/jlp-news/2026/7/30/jlp-thu-73026

–

📞 CALL HAKE: 888-775-3773 (Mon-Fri 9-11a PT / 11-1p CT / 12-2p ET) https://thehakereport.com/show

Links https://linktr.ee/thehakereport

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07/29/2026

Can't Care Too Much | Lifeguards, Old Folks, Palestinians, Barbz, "Mehiho" | HAKE Wed 7/29/26

Hogs, heroes & lifeguards: Hasselhoff. Nanny state. JLP book. Cities are evil? Care about Palestinians? Nicky Minaj. Trump says "Mexico." Fauci diary. Al Sharpton misinfo? Nolan Wells: heavy drinking?

The Hake Report, Wednesday, July 29, 2026 AD

TIMESTAMPS
0:00:00 Start / Disclaimer
0:07:13 It's Time for The Hake Report (Jake AI) 🎶
0:10:51 Supers... Mary Shelley, Jules Verne 💰
0:15:22 Brady: David Hasslehoff 📞
0:18:36 Brady: Forced life vests in ocean
0:23:47 Brady: mandatory Cooperalls for old folks, or squats?
0:28:12 Alex: 16yo saved 10yo. Dog & hogs: Selflessness 📞
0:37:40 Lucas: NABSW, From Rage to Responsibility 📞
0:47:50 Allen: "Cities are evil." Man owns land. 📞
0:54:53 Chad in FL: Jesse coin, July feels white hat 📞
0:57:33 Supers: Popcorn & Brady on Palestinians 💰
1:10:25 Sion: Nicky Minaj Barb's 💰
1:17:08 Cesar: Brady: NOOOOO! Shoutouts 💰
1:21:31 Jermaine: Gender dolls MN 📞
1:27:02 Jermaine: North Yarmouth, ME, men
1:31:58 Supers: Cesar between jobs 💰
1:35:18 Trump pronounces Mexico
1:39:25 William III: Anthony Fauci 📞
1:45:30 William III: Nolan Wells. Led Zeppelin, Eastwood boys
1:49:56 Rick: Al Sharpton; Gary, IN 📞
1:53:55 Outro 👋

📝 BLOG: https://www.thehakereport.com/blog/2026/7/29/hake-wed-72926

🎧 SUBSTACK: https://thehakereport.substack.com/p/cant-care-too-much-lifeguards-old

HAKE NEWS / JLP: https://www.thehakereport.com/jlp-news/2026/7/29/jlp-wed-72926

🥊 PUNCHIE TV: https://www.thehakereport.com/punchietv/2026/7/29/punchie-tv-ep-098nbsp

–

📞 CALL HAKE: 888-775-3773 (Mon-Fri 9-11a PT / 11-1p CT / 12-2p ET) https://thehakereport.com/show

Links https://linktr.ee/thehakereport

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07/28/2026

Suspicious of Your Thoughts? | Shiloh, NASA, Jesse Coin, Antarctica, Rhodesia | HAKE Tue 7/28/26

Shiloh Hendrix & cameraman Omar facts. Does NASA troll? Jesse coin! Antarctica FE fun fiction. Is Trump controlled? Rhodesian PM Ian Smith. New Tuskegee dress code. Crocs' valid use. Happy bday, Jake!

The Hake Report, Tuesday, July 28, 2026 AD

TIMESTAMPS
0:00:00 Start / Disclaimer
0:05:01 Shiloh Hendrix & Sharmake Omar justice
0:12:52 Does NASA troll space deniers? Asking Grok
0:18:08 Intro: Hey, guys! 🎶
0:22:00 Beautiful Silver Coin! 🪙
0:24:51 Allen: Fathers & husbands, Bible analysis 📞
0:34:15 Allen: FE Antarctica theory
0:42:39 Allen: Suspicious of your own thoughts
0:46:01 Allen: Trump is controlled?
0:49:37 More coin pics
0:50:28 Brady: Troy ounce of silver 📞
0:54:40 Brady: Admiral Byrd "secret diaries," foo fighters in WWII
1:02:07 Brady: Non-spinning flat astral plane realist
1:07:12 Terri: Ian Douglas Smith, Rhodesia PM, Zimbabwe politician 📞
1:19:52 Terri: Hollow Earth stuff
1:22:45 Supers: Chocolate Milk Day. FE & Jesus Q's. Jake Hudson. 💰
1:29:27 William III: Rhodesia. Desilu productions. Racecar culture. 📞
1:40:35 William III: Palestine & other fact checking
1:41:29 Jeff: Tuskegee new dress code. Crocs' use 📞
1:46:45 Interruption: Nick is innocent per JLP
1:48:35 Rick: World affairs 📞
1:53:01 Partial last superchat, sorry! 💰

📝 BLOG: https://www.thehakereport.com/blog/2026/7/28/hake-tue-72826

🎧 SUBSTACK: https://thehakereport.substack.com/p/suspicious-of-your-thoughts-shiloh

HAKE NEWS / JLP: https://www.thehakereport.com/jlp-news/2026/7/28/jlp-tue-72826

–

CALL HAKE: 888-775-3773 (Mon-Fri 9-11a PT / 11-1p CT / 12-2p ET) https://thehakereport.com/show

Links https://linktr.ee/thehakereport

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