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Macumb County Scanner is a Parody / Satire Breaking News Media Platform. We provide all information by listening to our local scanner in Macomb County Michigan. Previously, the Macomb Daily Page deleted after 20,000 subscribers. And you can still support us on Macumbdaily.com

MOUNT CLEMENS, MI — A Mount Clemens man is suing the former Gibraltar Trade Center, claiming the entire flea market empi...
09/26/2025

MOUNT CLEMENS, MI — A Mount Clemens man is suing the former Gibraltar Trade Center, claiming the entire flea market empire was built off his image and style, which he says he has been rocking every single day since 1980. The man, who transferred from the Buffalo Wild Wings of London, England to the Mount Clemens location for work, said he first got suspicious when he noticed the giant Gibraltar statue looked exactly like him, except the suit was blue. After digging deeper, he claims he uncovered an original photo of the statue in a brown suit, a picture he says the Trade Center tried to scrub from the internet until he tracked down a copy on the dark web. “I mean, it was like looking in a mirror,” he told reporters, adding that Gibraltar vendors then copied everything from his fashion and swagger to the sale of guns, knives, car subwoofers, airbrushed T-shirts, Oriental rugs, and even used ferrets. In the end, a Mount Clemens jury awarded him just over $40,000, a figure he insists is only a fraction of what Gibraltar made off him from their food court alone.

Reality television star Dog the Bounty Hunter surprised Roseville residents today when he held a press conference outsid...
09/26/2025

Reality television star Dog the Bounty Hunter surprised Roseville residents today when he held a press conference outside Sacred Heart Church, which is slated to become the site of the city’s new Sheetz, to announce his official write-in campaign for mayor. Flanked by his family dressed in tactical gear, Dog outlined a platform aimed at cracking down on crime in the city, from late-night catalytic converter thefts along Gratiot Avenue to sp*eding near the Macomb Mall, and pledged to tackle Roseville’s ongoing homeless problem with targeted outreach and enforcement. He promised free pepper spray for seniors, stricter enforcement against thefts, and weekly community “fugitive roundups” in the Macomb Mall parking lot, joking that he’d even “patrol the Slim Jim aisle” if necessary. Residents in attendance appeared both intrigued and amused. One attendee remarked, “If Dog can catch my cousin who keeps skipping court dates, I trust him to handle potholes and the guy who always steals our White Castle fries.” Dog concluded the announcement with characteristic confidence, declaring, “Roseville deserves justice, and justice starts here.”

STERLING HEIGHTS, MI — Locals are amazed at how eerily accurate the predictions of a childhood prodigy, nicknamed the St...
09/25/2025

STERLING HEIGHTS, MI — Locals are amazed at how eerily accurate the predictions of a childhood prodigy, nicknamed the Sterling Heights Nostradamus, have turned out to be. In the early ’90s, he would wander the aisles of Service Merchandise, messing with laser pointers, and casually warn that the store wouldn’t exist in the future. Not long after, during a trip to Burger King, he stared blankly out the window toward Hall Road, held up an onion ring, and proclaimed that a “Golden Ring” would rise there one day and added, “Behold the Golden Bu****le.” Now, decades later, Lakeside Mall has crumbled and chain restaurants that once lined Hall Road like Chili’s, TGI Fridays, Boston’s, and Aztecas have disappeared, replaced by fried chicken joints on nearly every corner. The road itself has earned the nickname Hell Road because of endless fender benders and traffic snarls. Locals say even back then, there was something uncanny about his predictions. Tony from Roseville recalls, “Now every time I’m stuck in traffic staring at that Golden Ring, I can’t help but wonder what else he saw coming, and it feels like the best part of Sterling Heights is still ahead.”

Neighbors in south Roseville say one man has taken fall spirit to an entirely new level, charging $5 for anyone who want...
09/22/2025

Neighbors in south Roseville say one man has taken fall spirit to an entirely new level, charging $5 for anyone who wants to stand in his front yard and watch the leaves on his maple tree change color. On Carlisle Street, residents report that he set up folding chairs, a rope line, and a hand-written loose-leaf sign in marker calling it “Randy’s Roseville Fall Colour Tour,” insisting his tree has “the brightest reds in Macomb County.” Some neighbors paid out of curiosity, while others called it a scam, pointing out that the same tree has been dropping leaves into their gutters for years. When asked why he started charging, Randy told reporters, “I got the idea last fall when some old lady was p*eping my Sugar Maple. I said this ain’t the UP, go on now AND GET!” One frustrated neighbor added, “Dude told me his Japanese Maple is the only one that changes colors because he feeds it fresh sushi.” Even visitors left bewildered, with one parent saying, “He told my kid that leaves change colors because they are going through puberty. What an uncomfortable ride home, he’s 6.” Another attendee described the full experience: “He had a gift shop in his garage selling bags of leaves for $400 each, Natty Lights for $7, and even charging $2 if you had to p*e on his yard.” Township officials say there is no law against charging people to watch a tree, but they are monitoring the situation after complaints that he was blocking street parking for his unusual “leaf show.”

Clinton Township residents are on edge after several people celebrating on Harbours Island, the small private island ins...
09/21/2025

Clinton Township residents are on edge after several people celebrating on Harbours Island, the small private island inside The Harbours Apartments complex, reported seeing a massive creature moving through the water late Saturday night. Witnesses described a long, dark shape gliding silently past the shore, some insisting it stretched longer than a pontoon boat. A few claimed to see eyes glowing above the surface. The sighting has reignited an old piece of local lore that has quietly circulated for years: that a mysterious being was born in the Clinton River and first appeared near The Harbours in the mid-2000s, drawn to the lights and noise as it searched for a mate. While skeptics dismiss the reports as alcohol, music, and shadows playing tricks, grainy phone videos have already spread widely online. Neighbors say they have heard whispers of strange movements in the water for decades, but this latest encounter has given the legend of the “Clinton Creature” new life, and residents are being warned to keep children and small pets away from the shoreline and to report any suspicious activity to township officials.

For years, locals have whispered about a decaying Big Boy statue hidden deep in the woods of Stony Creek Metropark, warn...
09/21/2025

For years, locals have whispered about a decaying Big Boy statue hidden deep in the woods of Stony Creek Metropark, warning anyone who wandered too far to stay away. Last week, a group of teens discovered the statue for themselves — its hollow eyes and cracked grin sending chills down their spines. They say the air thickened around it, whispers echoed through the trees, and one teen claims he heard a ghostly voice say, “Slim Jims coming,” before he tripped over what felt like a long-forgotten salad bar. Some insist it’s a cursed remnant of the 1986 Battle Creek Big Boy fire; others claim it came from far darker origins. Park officials and locals alike are united in their warning: leave the statue untouched — anyone who dares move it risks the curse.

For nearly a century, Gus Hankins has worked the same patch of farmland in Armada, but when visitors stopped coming to h...
09/20/2025

For nearly a century, Gus Hankins has worked the same patch of farmland in Armada, but when visitors stopped coming to his family’s cider mill, the 97-year-old decided it was time to try something new. After stumbling across videos from the Gathering of the Juggalos online, Gus said he was struck by the energy and loyalty of the fans and thought, “why not bring some of that spirit here?” The result is Michigan’s first Juggalo Corn Maze — 15 acres of winding trails with clown-painted scare actors hidden in the stalks, booming Insane Clown Posse music shaking the fields, and even a little Faygo moonshine Gus brews himself. The gamble has already paid off, with Juggalos traveling from across the Midwest to see it for themselves. “I love the Hatchetman,” Gus said with a grin. “He’s like me — just chopping.” For a farmer who thought his best days were behind him, the Dark Carnival may have just given him one more harvest to be proud of.

STERLING HEIGHTS, MI — An elderly couple says their evening walk through Dodge Park turned extraordinary when they spott...
09/19/2025

STERLING HEIGHTS, MI — An elderly couple says their evening walk through Dodge Park turned extraordinary when they spotted what they believe was Bigfoot near the Clinton River. The couple, who sometimes stop by the “hidden crane” area to smoke ma*****na, say they initially thought the sighting might have been a trick of the mind. “I thought it was just the w**d stuff mixing with the DMT I mixed in,” said 89-year-old Cliff of Sterling Heights. “But this thing was tall, hairy, and moving faster than you’d expect for someone with no shoes.” His girlfriend Roberta says she had a disposable camera with her and captured a photo. “I was shocked when we actually saw him in the pictures,” she said. Scientific experts who reviewed the image say it cannot be disproven and are calling it the clearest photograph of Bigfoot ever documented anywhere. The couple described hearing a low grumble they compared to a lawnmower trying to start, and said the creature “sounded like a gorilla with a Michigan accent” before disappearing into the woods. The story has sparked widespread interest, with locals closely examining the photo and discussing the possibility that Sterling Heights may now have its own Sasquatch.

ROSEVILLE, MI — The Michigan Supreme Court has formally recognized Juggalos as a protected cultural community, granting ...
09/12/2025

ROSEVILLE, MI — The Michigan Supreme Court has formally recognized Juggalos as a protected cultural community, granting nonprofit tax-exempt status and clearing the way for the American Juggalo Cultural Center (AJCC) in Roseville, Michigan. Set to break ground in 2027, the AJCC will rise as a striking marble-and-glass landmark on Gratiot Avenue, designed to preserve the history, art, and influence of Insane Clown Posse and the worldwide Juggalo movement while standing alongside Michigan’s most respected cultural institutions. “This ruling ensures Juggalo heritage will no longer be dismissed or stigmatized but archived with the same seriousness as any other cultural movement,” said Juggalo historian Derek Armstrong. The center will feature rare recordings, stage props, Faygo memorabilia, the very first writings and recordings of ICP, and archival footage — including what organizers call the “archival boofing footage” — alongside research collections and immersive exhibits covering everything from the FBI’s former gang classification to the annual Gathering of the Juggalos, giving Juggalos a permanent, protected home and finally securing their place in Michigan’s cultural landscape.

STERLING HEIGHTS, MI — For 42-year-old Jay Anton, life had been a gray, numbing loop of work, sleep, and endless weekend...
09/11/2025

STERLING HEIGHTS, MI — For 42-year-old Jay Anton, life had been a gray, numbing loop of work, sleep, and endless weekends, leaving him untouched by joy for years, until one morning he left his trailer, hopped on his moped, and rode down Hall Road’s “landing strip with all those bushes” to the city’s infamous Golden Bu****le, where, seeking something real to ground him, he pressed his tongue to the cold, solid metal and, in an instant he calls “catching lightning in a bottle,” felt a rush of sensation so powerful it snapped him from decades of emotional numbness, a miracle so unusual that doctors and neuroscientists later described it as “unprecedented” and “life-affirming,” while Dr. Helena Marks, a metallurgist and sensory neurologist, added, “The combination of the gold’s conductive properties and the unexpected tactile stimulation could explain the extraordinary neurological response he experienced,” and as Anton laughed at the absurdity, he realized a universal truth: life isn’t about waiting for joy to find you, it’s about daring to do the impossible, to shock yourself awake, and sometimes the greatest lessons — even the most ridiculous — come from the places you never imagined, like licking a Golden Bu****le.

ROMEO, MI — Kid Rock reportedly purchased the iconic Romeo Rock, the massive rock long housed at the Romeo District Libr...
09/05/2025

ROMEO, MI — Kid Rock reportedly purchased the iconic Romeo Rock, the massive rock long housed at the Romeo District Library, claiming he was tired of it stealing the spotlight in his hometown. To make it truly his own, he even had a “kid artist” paint a portion of it, creating what he calls a Kid Rock Painting. After some time in an undisclosed location, he returned the rock to its original spot, saying he wanted to give it “its freedom back.” The homecoming drew a crowd of locals lining up for selfies and forming tongue-in-cheek “Save the Rock” committees, celebrating the rock’s adventures and return. Amid the cheering, a few haters from St. Clair Shores made their voices heard, with one bold spectator yelling, “Uncle Kracker is better,” earning groans, laughs, and plenty of side-eye from the crowd.

HARRISON TOWNSHIP, MI — A St. Clair Shores man has made history after discovering what experts say is the largest pink P...
09/05/2025

HARRISON TOWNSHIP, MI — A St. Clair Shores man has made history after discovering what experts say is the largest pink Petoskey stone ever found in Michigan, uncovered along the shoreline of Lake St. Clair Metropark and sold this week for $3 million at a state auction. The man, who asked not to be named, said he came across the massive pink stone during a morning walk and immediately knew it was something extraordinary. “Who would have thought that a walk on Metro Beach would make me an instant multi-millionaire,” he said after the sale. Petoskey stones are Michigan’s state stone and highly collectible, but pink specimens of this size are almost never seen and are considered museum-grade. “Metro Beach is Michigan’s hidden gem for Petoskey stones,” the man added. The winning bid came from a private collector, marking one of the highest-ever prices for a Michigan mineral discovery.

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