04/25/2024
I went down all the wrong roads and made all the worst choices.
I pursued the wrong men for love and I tried to please people that weren’t worth my efforts.
I was ignored, treated badly and cast aside like I didn’t matter.
It’s a dark place when you don’t think anyone cares and everything you do goes badly.
Truth is, you stop believing in all the good stuff and start wallowing in your misery.
I was left holding the pieces of my broken heart so many times, I didn’t think love existed anymore.
I mean, who does it really work out for?
I would shake my head and try to convince myself that I wouldn’t give another man a chance to break my heart..
Until I opened up to another person and ended up on the same broken road that had become all too familiar.
I’d break down and tears would cover my face as I would be on my knees, heartbroken.
I just wondered why me?
Why couldn’t I have love and happiness like all the people I would see every day?
Sometimes, it takes a friend, a moment of vision or just the realization of your situation to help you see past your darkness to know that you don’t have to stay there in the unhappiness.
I couldn’t keep living this way- always holding my breath waiting for the next disaster or bad news.
I had to stop treating myself like I wasn’t good enough and settling for however people wanted to treat me.
I’d been broken, I’d been sad, I’d fallen..but I wasn’t staying down any more.
I wasn’t going to let the fire that had consumed me every day continue to ruins my life.
It was time to stop settling, stop accepting mistreatment and start taking responsibility for my life.
It wasn’t enough to just say “that’s just my luck” and be okay with it any more..
Because I’m not.
I’m more than good enough, I’m worth it, and most importantly, I got this.
I’ve been to the dark places, lost myself in the sadness and become hopeless.
Not anymore.
I’m owning my experiences and I’m taking back my life.
I might lose some people along the way, but they’re not my people if they can’t grow with me and love me for who I’m becoming.
I’m no longer doling out my heart to men that don’t deserve it..in fact, I’m going to stop worrying about love and start focusing on me..
Love will show up when I’m ready and the time is right- I don’t have to chase it for it to find me.
I lost myself somewhere along the way in my life, and it’s my time to rediscover who I am..
Time to grow, time to be happy, time to rediscover the me that I lost along the way.
So, yes, my story is filled with broken pieces, terrible choices and ugly truths..
But it’s also filled with a major comeback, peace in my soul and a grace that saved my life.
That, for me, right now, is enough.
I’ll figure the rest out as I go..I always do.
Because every day in every way, I got this.
|ravenwolf
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