11/05/2025
Growing up in an Asian household, “I love you” wasn’t something we said out loud. In fact, I can’t ever remember hearing and saying those words at all as a child or teenager. Even hugging each other felt foreign and made me uncomfortable - which is strange because I could do it with other people but with family it just felt off.
Affection was shown differently from Mom - it was fruit cut up and put in front of me without asking, it was all the times I asked for something and was given it even though we didn’t have the funds, it was the cooking of congee and feeding it to me when I was sick even when I was grown enough to feed myself.
She didn’t express love with words, but through action and sacrifice.
The first time I ever really remember saying “I love you” out loud to my mother was when I was 18 and moved to a different state from her. I think that was the first time I remember her saying it to me as well. Speaking on the phone, we’d end the calls saying it to each other. Then when she moved to be closer to me, it stopped.
Of course she continued with the quiet gestures though. When I had gotten popular with my baking and was selling, she’d help me clean my trays, she’d package the macarons, she’d take pictures of all the boxes and post it on her Facebook so friends and family could see.
Now I’m 32 and as I’ve gotten older (especially during times like AAPI Heritage Month and Mother’s Day) I’ve been reflecting more on the beauty and strength in those quiet gestures. While I now understand and deeply appreciate these gestures, I’ve also felt a growing urge to tell her out loud that I love her more often and hug her.
Maybe it’s age, maybe it’s perspective, but I don’t want to let those words go unsaid for so long anymore. This Mother’s Day, I want to show appreciation the way she always has - through thoughtful actions - but I also want to speak the words she rarely heard growing up herself and give her the hugs she deserves. Because even though we come from a culture where love is often implied, there’s also something powerful in saying it out loud.
I love you, Mom! 🫶🏻
And Happy Mother’s Day to all those who celebrate 💐
