04/06/2026
March #2
We finally had another good day (70 and sunny). I just got a call telling me that Judy was climbing on one of the new stuffed chairs and she slid off of it onto the floor. Since neither she nor the chair were hurt they gave her a coke and put her in her room to relax. We have asked them to calm her down this way whenever she cries or get angry. I didn’t ask why she was running around the common area at 9 pm. I had taken her outside this afternoon and we walked around the grounds until she said her legs were tired, but apparently they recovered.
While Mark was here we took Judy down to Memorial Presbyterian church and walked around the empty building. She had been here many times before and expressed some interest now. I thought about taking her to a service, but it probably would not hold her attention. The memory community hosts musicians to play or sing for us for an hour (a captive audience), and I make sure to take Judy to hear them. Everyone is encouraged to sing along if they know the song but she just whispers or taps her fingers. She does not comment on the program (she won’t answer if you ask how she liked a program, or her meal—possibly because she forgot).
The staff categorizes a not-so-good day as one where Judy has an anger episode or sadness. I see her every morning, and sometimes she is still asleep and sometimes she is out eating breakfast. She says she is glad to see me, and sometimes she asks where have I been. I help the staff give her her meds, which are now a smaller number. Sometimes they are dissolved in her hot chocolate, sometimes they are crushed and stirred into chocolate pudding and spread on toast like jam. The worst is when an inexperienced cna tries to get her to take the crushed pills in apple sauce off a spoon. That usually ends with medicine on the floor.
Good days are when she wakes up cheerful, sings a song with the staff while they dress her, and gobbles up her breakfast (and meds). Others will come out for breakfast and she will say hello without using their name, instead giving them a compliment on their wardrobe or their smile. She thinks some don’t like her, and it makes her sad (she whispers this to me as we leave the dining room). Last month a wife joined us who has been married 6 months longer than us, and he visits every day after having rented a room in the independent living building. Judy talks to the wife when the husband is gone, but she is deaf and can’t process Judy’s speech fast enough. Judy pats her when she goes by. Judy tries to kibitz with everyone.
We had expected to join a community that had chosen to grow old together, but our group does not interact very much in part because there has been a good deal of replacement with a new person joining us each month. Only four men and three women have been here longer than Judy has, all over 65. The men have been here several years, and have local visitors. Our neighbor is a woman our age who has been here a few months longer than Judy. She corrects Judy when she does not do things properly, which annoys Judy. Another of the senior women is bedridden. The staff is very friendly and are cheerful and encouraging with all the residents.
Judy makes acquaintance with each new resident (they have all been women) since none of the more senior residents have shown any interest in her or the other newbies (the two friendly senior woman died a month after we arrived). She has made friends with a woman whose husband does not visit very often because he thinks it interferes with her transition to a new life-style. Another new resident can not speak but she and Judy get along as the least verbal of the group using body language. The verbal residents are put off by the effort it takes to understand Judy, who talks fluently but the wrong words come out. The newbies sit in the common area and talk (the women show no interest in TV). There is not much for the residents to do to pass the time (a couple have a hobby and the men watch TV in their rooms) aside from eating and waiting for the morning activity and the two afternoon activities (but only half will participate). Judy roams the building, checking out what the staff are doing and listening in on conversations to the point where she can interject a one-liner and then be off again.
March #2
We finally had another good day (70 and sunny). I just got a call telling me that Judy was climbing on one of the new stuffed chairs and she slid off of it onto the floor. Since neither she nor the chair were hurt they gave her a coke and put her in her room to relax. We have asked them to calm her down this way whenever she cries or get angry. I didn’t ask why she was running around the common area at 9 pm. I had taken her outside this afternoon and we walked around the grounds until she said her legs were tired, but apparently they recovered.
While Mark was here we took Judy down to Memorial Presbyterian church and walked around the empty building. She had been here many times before and expressed some interest now. I thought about taking her to a service, but it probably would not hold her attention. The memory community hosts musicians to play or sing for us for an hour (a captive audience), and I make sure to take Judy to hear them. Everyone is encouraged to sing along if they know the song but she just whispers or taps her fingers. She does not comment on the program (she won’t answer if you ask how she liked a program, or her meal—possibly because she forgot).
The staff categorizes a not-so-good day as one where Judy has an anger episode or sadness. I see her every morning, and sometimes she is still asleep and sometimes she is out eating breakfast. She says she is glad to see me, and sometimes she asks where have I been. I help the staff give her her meds, which are now a smaller number. Sometimes they are dissolved in her hot chocolate, sometimes they are crushed and stirred into chocolate pudding and spread on toast like jam. The worst is when an inexperienced cna tries to get her to take the crushed pills in apple sauce off a spoon. That usually ends with medicine on the floor.
Good days are when she wakes up cheerful, sings a song with the staff while they dress her, and gobbles up her breakfast (and meds). Others will come out for breakfast and she will say hello without using their name, instead giving them a compliment on their wardrobe or their smile. She thinks some don’t like her, and it makes her sad (she whispers this to me as we leave the dining room). Last month a wife joined us who has been married 6 months longer than us, and he visits every day after having rented a room in the independent living building. Judy talks to the wife when the husband is gone, but she is deaf and can’t process Judy’s speech fast enough. Judy pats her when she goes by. Judy tries to kibitz with everyone.
We had expected to join a community that had chosen to grow old together, but our group does not interact very much in part because there has been a good deal of replacement with a new person joining us each month. Only four men and three women have been here longer than Judy has, all over 65. The men have been here several years, and have local visitors. Our neighbor is a woman our age who has been here a few months longer than Judy. She corrects Judy when she does not do things properly, which annoys Judy. Another of the senior women is bedridden. The staff is very friendly and are cheerful and encouraging with all the residents.
Judy makes acquaintance with each new resident (they have all been women) since none of the more senior residents have shown any interest in her or the other newbies (the two friendly senior woman died a month after we arrived). She has made friends with a woman whose husband does not visit very often because he thinks it interferes with her transition to a new life-style. Another new resident can not speak but she and Judy get along as the least verbal of the group using body language. The verbal residents are put off by the effort it takes to understand Judy, who talks fluently but the wrong words come out. The newbies sit in the common area and talk (the women show no interest in TV). There is not much for the residents to do to pass the time (a couple have a hobby and the men watch TV in their rooms) aside from eating and waiting for the morning activity and the two afternoon activities (but only half will participate). Judy roams the building, checking out what the staff are doing and listening in on conversations to the point where she can interject a one-liner and then be off again.
