The Autistic Homesteader

02/20/2025

🔥 I Love the Spicy High—The Hotter, the Better! 🔥

I love spicy food. Not just the heat, but the rush that comes with it. If my nose isn’t running and my mouth isn’t on fire, it’s not spicy enough! But what is it about that burn that makes some of us crave more?

🌶 The Science of the Spice Rush

When you eat something spicy, your brain thinks you're in danger. Capsaicin, the compound in chili peppers, activates pain receptors, tricking your body into feeling heat even though there’s no actual fire. Your body reacts by releasing endorphins (natural painkillers) and dopamine (the feel-good chemical). That’s what creates the spicy high, a wave of warmth, energy, and satisfaction.

💥 Why I Love It (and Why Some People Don’t)

For me, it’s not about pushing limits or chasing intensity I just know what I like. That deep, satisfying burn feels right. But I get why some people avoid it, if your brain focuses only on the pain, the high never comes, and it’s just suffering.

🥵 What’s Your Perfect Level of Heat?

I already know mine. Some people love just a little kick, while others can’t handle any heat at all. What’s the spiciest thing you actually enjoyed eating? 🌶🔥

02/19/2025

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02/13/2025

I Can’t Watch Movies (But I Can Listen to Them)

I’ve never really been able to watch movies the way most people do. I can listen to them just fine, but keeping my attention on the screen is nearly impossible. The moving images don’t help me process the story, they actually make it harder to follow what’s happening.

This is due to executive functioning challenges, which affect how I focus, process, and retain information. Watching a movie requires keeping track of both audio and visuals at the same time.

If I try to focus on the TV screen, I get stuck on background details or random movements rather than the main story.

Since listening is easier, I ignore the screen entirely which makes things a lot easier because in addition to that I have ADHD and I can't sit still for a whole 2 hours!

This isn’t just about movies, it’s part of how I process information in general. For example, when learning something new, I prefer written instructions with pictures rather than video tutorials. I can’t follow fictional books at all. But I do like real, physical reference books because I can go at my own pace and easily find information when I need it.

I wanted to share this because executive functioning challenges aren’t always obvious, but they affect how I experience everyday things, including entertainment and learning.

02/12/2025

Sometimes, it’s the small gestures that mean the most. Today, Morgan, an employee at our local Dollar General, gave me this beautiful rose. It was such a simple but thoughtful act that brightened my day. It’s a reminder that kindness doesn’t have to be grand to be meaningful—just a little thoughtfulness can make all the difference.

Grateful for the people who take a moment to spread kindness!

02/10/2025

02/09/2025

The view changes so much with the season! It's always beautiful but right now I miss the greenery. I'm looking forward to feel the sun on my skin while going on long pasture walks with my goats. Almost hard to believe these photos are of the same place on the homestead.

02/08/2025

I love my horned dairy goats! Their horns aren’t just for looks—they’re actually really useful. They help with temperature regulation, work as built-in handles when I need to hold them to administer medicine, and give the goats a way to scratch those hard-to-reach spots.

One thing I’ve noticed is that during rut I’ve never had bloody heads on my horned bucks. The only time I’ve seen that is on disbudded goats. Horns seem to provide a natural buffer, preventing some of the injuries I’ve seen in goats without them.

Some people prefer disbudded goats, and that’s perfectly fine, but I personally love the way horns make handling easier and let my goats live as naturally as possible!

02/06/2025

One of my strengths as an autistic person is my attention to detail. I believe this is why I was able to teach myself pencil drawing from a book in just a few days. Noticing the finer details and breaking things down step by step makes learning new skills easier and more natural for me. Autism comes with its challenges, but it also comes with strengths—and for me, being detail-oriented is one of them.

Here’s an example that literally illustrates it! 😆

Twelve years ago, I wondered if I’d be able to draw, so I bought a book and followed the instructions. In the corner of each page of the slideshow below, you can see my progress day by day just by looking at the date.

02/03/2025

The Struggle of "Waiting Mode" – Why Last-Minute Changes Are Hard for Me

I want to talk about something that affects me deeply as an autistic person: the paralysis that comes with waiting for something uncertain—like when someone is supposed to pick up an animal but doesn’t confirm, shows up late without notice, or doesn’t show at all.

For many, waiting is just a minor inconvenience. But for me, it takes over my entire day in ways that are hard to explain. My brain goes into a kind of "standby mode," where I can’t focus on anything else. It feels impossible to start other tasks because my mind is locked on the upcoming event. And when plans change unexpectedly, it throws off my entire sense of structure.

Why does this happen?

Time feels "blocked off" – I can’t use the time before the appointment productively because my brain is fixated on the event.

Uncertainty creates anxiety – If I don’t know exactly when someone is coming, I get stuck in a loop of checking, preparing, and waiting.

Sudden changes are disruptive – If someone is late or cancels last-minute, I struggle to shift gears and move on, even if I technically have “free” time again.

This isn’t about impatience—it’s how my brain works. Clear communication and reliability help me function so much better. If you're planning to meet someone (autistic or not), confirming in advance and being on time can make a world of difference.

Does anyone else struggle with this?

02/02/2025

Part 3 of 3 posts on Alexithymia

How You Can Support Me (or others)During Big Feelings

1. Stay Calm: When I’m overwhelmed, I might not be able to explain what I need right away. If you stay calm and patient, it helps me feel safe.

2. Offer Gentle Reassurance: Instead of asking, “What’s wrong?” (which I might not know), try saying something like “Take your time.” This reassures me without adding pressure.

3. Give Me Space (If I Need It): If I shut down, I may just need quiet time to let the emotions settle. You don’t need to fix it—just being there is enough.

4. Avoid Judgment: My reaction might seem “childlike,” but it’s not intentional. Please understand that I’m doing my best to cope in a way that feels natural to me.

5. Help Me Reflect Later: Once I’ve calmed down, I might appreciate help identifying the emotions I felt or what triggered them. Simple questions like, “Do you think you were feeling angry, sad, or scared?” can help me make sense of what happened.

02/02/2025

One of my favorite things to do is observe and learn everything I can about animals. There’s always something new to discover, and I love hearing unique insights from others who are just as fascinated by them!

Do you have an animal you know a lot about? I’d love to hear a lesser-known fact about them! It could be something you’ve learned through experience, an unusual behavior, or anything that isn’t widely known. Is there anyone willing to satisfy my need to learn something new?

What’s a cool or surprising fact you know about an animal?

02/01/2025

Part 2 of 3 posts on Alexithymia

How Alexithymia Affects My Understanding of Emotions

Imagine trying to understand your feelings with the same awareness as a preschooler. It’s not that I don’t have emotions—I do—but I struggle to identify them and explain them, much like a young child might. For example:

I know something feels “good” or “bad,” but I might not have the words to describe why or what exactly I’m feeling.

It’s like having a limited emotional vocabulary, making it hard to share what’s going on inside my mind.

When I experience big feelings, it can feel overwhelming and confusing. It’s not that I’m ignoring what’s happening—I truly don’t know how to process it in the moment. Here’s how it might look:

Confusion and Overwhelm: I feel a rush of emotions, but I don’t know what they are or why they’re happening. It’s like an emotional storm I can’t name, and that uncertainty can make the feelings even more intense.

Crying Like a Child: Sometimes, when emotions build up, I cry—not because I fully understand why, but because it’s the only release I know in that moment. It might seem sudden or dramatic, but it’s just my brain’s way of trying to cope.

Shutting Down: If the feelings become too intense, I might freeze or shut down entirely. It’s not that I don’t care or want to withdraw—it’s my way of protecting myself from being overwhelmed.

Why I’m Sharing This

I’m sharing my experience because I hope to create awareness and understanding for others who might have family members or loved ones experiencing something similar. By explaining what alexithymia feels like and how it affects me, I want to help others recognize these struggles in those close to them and offer support in a way that feels meaningful and compassionate.

The Autistic Homesteader