SW Arkansas News Source

05/30/2026

MURFREESBORO, ARKANSAS — A local woman says her life has been completely transformed after receiving what experts are calling "the most qualified and enthusiastic service animal in Arkansas" from the Pike County 4-H Club.

The donkey, named Tank, reportedly helps guide his owner through stores, parking lots, and community events—provided there are no snack aisles nearby.

Witnesses at the Murfreesboro Dollar General say the animal demonstrated its advanced training Saturday morning by locating a family-sized bag of Doritos from nearly 75 yards away and immediately escorting its owner directly to the chip aisle at a safe pace.

"He can sense danger, obstacles, and discounted snack foods with incredible accuracy," said one amazed shopper. "I've never seen anything like it. He ignored three shopping carts, two displays, and a screaming toddler, but somehow found the chips instantly."

The donkey's service vest states that access is required, though Local officials estimate Tank has consumed approximately $487 worth of chips since beginning his service career but note that his success rate for finding chips remains a perfect 100%.

The Pike County 4-H Club defended the donation, releasing a statement that read: "Technically, nobody said the animal had to be good at seeing. We just said it was trained."

As of press time, Dorito had successfully guided his owner to the checkout line, three bags of Doritos and two MoonPies. SW Arkansas News Source will continue monitoring this developing story and any future chip related incidents.

05/29/2026

Have you ever been driving through Nashville during a rainy afternoon and suddenly thought, “What is that wonderful smell?”

Now you can bring that unforgettable aroma straight into your living room with the all-new Tyson Signature Series Candle Collection.

Introducing “Rain & Chicken Stank” a bold blend of wet pavement, mysterious poultry steam, and faint hints of factory nostalgia. Perfect for date nights, family gatherings, or convincing out-of-town guests you live near economic opportunity.

Each candle is handcrafted to capture the authentic Nashville atmosphere locals know and tolerate. With up to 40 hours of burn time, you can enjoy notes of damp feathers, warm fryer air, and “something ain’t right outside” all evening long.

Tyson Signature Candles
Embrace the smell of home.

05/28/2026

VETERINARIANS AT NASHVILLE ANIMAL HOSPITAL STUNNED AFTER FARMER BRINGS IN INJURED VELOCIRAPTOR

NASHVILLE, AR — Staff at Nashville Animal Hospital say Thursday started like any normal day, a couple of dogs with upset stomachs, one goat that “ate a socket wrench again,” and then a farmer backed his trailer up to the back door hauling what he described as “a weird lizard.”

According to reports, local farmer Buford Jenkins burst through the clinic doors yelling, “Y’all got a reptile specialist?” before unveiling an injured velociraptor wrapped in an old camouflage deer blanket.

Veterinarians say the creature appeared to have several cuts and bruises after allegedly getting tangled in a barbed wire fence while “chasing somebody’s free-range chickens at approximately 45 miles per hour.”

“We honestly thought it was just Earl from Dierks in another Halloween costume,” said vet tech Amanda Lewis. “Then it hissed, knocked over a mop bucket, and tried to eat the clinic cat.”

Witnesses say the raptor was surprisingly calm once staff offered it a bucket of raw chicken strips from Tyson down the road. One employee reportedly whispered, “Clever girl,” before immediately getting written up by management for provoking the patient.

The farmer claims he discovered the dinosaur roaming near a creek bed outside Nashville sometime around sunrise.

“I ain’t askin’ questions,” Jenkins stated while nervously smoking three ci******es at once. “All I know is that thing came outta the woods screaming louder than my ex-wife at tax season.”

Hospital staff spent nearly three hours stitching up the patient while trying to stop local teenagers from showing up to take selfies with it. Authorities briefly closed the parking lot after the velociraptor escaped sedation and chased a mailman into a feed storage shed.

As of press time, the creature is listed in stable condition and has reportedly already learned how to open unlocked doors.

05/27/2026

05/27/2026

BREAKING: Tour Guide Finds "The Motherlode" While Looking for Lost Saxophone

HOPE, AR — A Routine Dusting Initiative at the President William Jefferson Clinton Birthplace Home uncovered something far more scandalous than old emails.

According to sources a fleet of unmarked black SUVs descended upon the historic site. Dozens of agents wearing identical sunglasses despite the heavy Arkansas humidity completely fogging up their lenses began hauling boxes out of the historic home's attic.

The contents? The full and completely unredacted "Epstein Files." "We Just Thought the Floorboards Were Squeaky" Local National Park Ranger Bobby Joe Henderson spoke exclusively to SW Arkansas News Source while visibly trembling. "I pulled a string on the ceiling, climbed up the ladder, and bumped my head on a box labeled 'JEFF’S TOP SECRET ISLAND LOGS - DO NOT OPEN. I thought it belonged to Billy's brother Roger, honestly."

Within twenty minutes, the FBI had cordoned off the wooden walkway, forcing a tour group of senior citizens from Ohio to wait by the sign.

FBI Breathes Sigh of Relief
When pressed for comment on how thousands of pages of highly sensitive, internationally explosive documents ended up in the attic of a modest, small-town Arkansas home that has been open to the public for decades, a lead FBI spokesperson offered a stunningly candid response.

"Look, all we can say right now is... that was a close one," the agent muttered, hurriedly loading a box into the trunk of a sedan. "We’ve been looking in D.C. for years. Who knew all we had to do was check the birthplace of the 42nd president? It’s always the last place you look."

Park officials say the historic site will remain closed until they can verify that no further international conspiracies are hiding in the pantry or behind the replica vintage wallpaper.

Correction: A previous version of this article stated the agents were CIA. They are FBI. The CIA agents are currently disguised as bushes across the street.

05/26/2026

MURFREESBORO, Ark.— Panic is sweeping through Pike County this evening after multiple visitors at Crater of Diamonds State Park reported spotting “land sharks” circling through the fields near the diamond search area. Officials say the phenomenon marks the official beginning of what locals call “Pike County Shark Week,” a budget-friendly Arkansas version featuring less ocean water and significantly more mosquitoes.

Witnesses described hearing dramatic music “for no reason at all” while children abandoned their sifters and ran screaming toward the gift shop yelling, “WE’RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER TRACTOR.” One tourist from Little Rock reportedly attempted to fight a shark with a shovel.

A local shirtless man outside the gas station claimed the creatures were actually “diamond-fed land sharks created during a government mining experiment back in the ‘70s.” While eating a corndog and shaking a vhs copy of Jaws.

Park employees have since posted new safety guidelines warning visitors not to chum during business hours, avoid mining after dark, and under absolutely no circumstances go swimmin with bowlegged women. Despite the chaos, tourism officials say attendance has actually increased, with dozens of Arkansans now arriving daily hoping to spot one of Pike County’s newest attractions.

05/26/2026

PIKE COUNTY SHERIFF’S OFFICE DECLARES “ZERO TOLERANCE” ON GOSLING CRIMES

PIKE COUNTY — In response to a viral video showing a state trooper running over a small gosling on Hwy 67 between Cabot and Jacksonville, the Pike County Sheriff’s Department has launched what officials are calling “Operation Feathered Justice.”

During a mandatory training seminar Tuesday morning, deputies were instructed on proper duckling-crossing protocols, emergency waddling response procedures, and the importance of “maintaining eye contact with emotionally distressed geese.” Officials unveiled a new pledge stating that “no ducklings will be ran over on our watch,” which was reportedly met with thunderous applause and one confused deputy asking if this now included chickens.

Sheriff’s officials say patrol units will now slow to a respectful crawl anytime a bird is seen within 300 yards of a roadway. Meanwhile, authorities have confirmed that the department is considering tiny reflective safety vests for all local waterfowl, pending grant approval.

05/26/2026

A quiet evening in Hope, Arkansas turned into a full-blown horror movie Monday night after the Henderson family reported being “under siege” by what witnesses described as a “monster moth with at least a 6-foot wingspan and the attitude of a divorced father of seven kids.”

According to reports, the creature appeared shortly after the family turned on their front porch light and immediately began repeatedly body-slamming the storm door hard enough to rattle picture frames and traumatize the family’s dog. Neighbors claim the massive moth circled the home for nearly 45 minutes while making “dusty helicopter noises” and shedding what one child described as “powdered doom” across the porch furniture.

The nightmare finally escalated when the moth suddenly abandoned the front porch and locked onto the family’s backyard bug light “like a heat seeking missile from the underworld.” Witnesses say the insect hit the bug zapper with such force that the resulting BOOM sounded “like a propane tank exploding inside a bass drum.” Residents across the street reported their lights dimming twice before the entire block lost power, with one local man claiming the shockwave knocked his Crocs clean off his feet.

Local authorities arrived on scene but allegedly refused to approach the smoking remains after one deputy stated, “Whatever that thing was, it died angry.” Swepco crews restored power later that evening, although several residents reported a lingering smell of burnt hair, bug spray, and “electrical anger ” hanging over the neighborhood well into the night.

05/24/2026

KIRBY, ARKANSAS— Residents of Kirby are still trying to process the events that unfolded Saturday afternoon after local woman Debra Hensley engaged in what witnesses are calling “a full-scale showdown” with a 130-pound crawdad in her backyard.

According to neighbors, the massive crustacean erupted from the ground “like Satan’s own mud bug” shortly after Debra’s yorkie, Biscuit, wandered too close to what authorities believe was a “suspiciously large crawdad hole.”

“I heard Biscuit yelp, looked outside, and saw this giant claw come outta the ground,” Debra told SW Arkansas News Source while loading buckshot and petting her dog. “That thing looked me dead in the eyes like it paid property taxes here.”

Witnesses say the crawdad allegedly hissed, snapped a fence post in half, and briefly attempted to throw claws with her dog before Debra grabbed her grandads boom stick and “handled business.”

The Pike County Wildlife Office issued a statement saying there is “currently no scientific evidence” supporting the existence of 130-pound crawdads, but admitted they did receive “multiple frantic calls regarding a land lobster the size of a miniature pony.”

Biscuit the yorkie suffered no injuries and has since become somewhat of a local celebrity. Sources say the dog now barks aggressively at puddles, crawfish boils, and anyone wearing red rain boots.

As for Debra, she says she has no regrets. “If another one comes outta that mound,” she said while staring into the distance, “I got two more boxes of shells and a big boiling pot.”

For now, locals had already begun selling “Kirby Mud Monster Festival” T-shirts in the Dollar General parking lot.

05/23/2026

NASHVILLE, ARKANSAS — Locals are experiencing longer than expected wait times at local quick-lube shops after the popular “10 Minit L**e” officially rebranded itself this week as “12 Minit L**e.”

According to insiders, the extra two minutes are reportedly dedicated entirely to an employee holding an air filter near your windshield while repeating the phrase “AIR FILTER” through a megaphone.

Witnesses say the new company policy was introduced after corporate consultants discovered that drivers are 93% more likely to buy filters if offered over a loud speaker.

“I just wanted an oil change,” said one local resident. “Next thing I know a man is standing outside my truck saying ‘AIR FILTER’ like he’s warning us about an incoming tornado.”

Employees defended the practice, claiming the megaphone helps “improve communication” over the sound of impact wrenches.

In all seriousness this is a joke and we know and love the guys that work at 10 Minit L**e.