09/29/2025
If you’ve ever lost a very special loved one, you may have experienced the difficulty of letting go of their possessions. And so it was for Pete and me when we lost Mandy. Her bedroom closet was filled with clothes that were very typically “Mandy’s style” and many of them reminded us of specific occasions when she wore them. There were various pieces of art that Mandy created and books that she read. There were mixing bowls and pans that she used to bake the cupcakes that everyone loved. As would be expected, her purse held her wallet and keys, but there was also a small vial of perfume (one of her favorite scents), a small tin of Altoids (another favorite), and some Purell sanitizer with the scent of “Ocean Kiss” along with a tiny seashell (reminders of Mandy’s love of the ocean). And there was so much more throughout her condo…so many possessions whose monetary value is now far exceeded by their emotional value to me. Each and every piece emanates a sense of Mandy’s presence simply because she had once held them in her hands.
We realized from the very beginning that it would be impossible for us to keep all of Mandy’s belongings so we placed some of our favorites throughout our home where we can see and/or make use of them daily. Then we offered others to family and friends, and donated some to charities. There were items that we stored in bins in our attic or loaded onto the shelves in the closet of our home office. Every few months I sort through these storage bins and boxes to determine if the time has come to let a few more things go. This method has given us the opportunity to offer specific things to individuals that we feel would appreciate them as much as Mandy did.
Just a couple weeks ago I decided to straighten up our office closet once more, and I managed to let go of a number of things. And then as I turned from the closet, I was faced with the mementos of Mandy that are hung on the opposite wall. Our office was originally Pete’s work space when we first moved into the house so he chose the décor. Therefore the shelves are filled with his collection of die-cast fire engines, and three of the walls display mementos from his fire-fighting days. But one wall highlights some family memories and that is the wall that caught my attention that day.
As I scanned across the wall, some of Mandy’s awards from the South Carolina Press Association caught my eye and I remembered how she accepted those awards at the association’s annual banquets and then hid them away until Pete insisted that she allow him to display some in his office. There’s a copy of the first front page Mandy designed while working at her first journalistic job in Greenwood, SC. Once again, Pete had to ask her for a copy so he could frame it and hang it. I realized that I hadn’t looked at that newspaper for quite a while, but as I read over it once again, I was reminded that Mandy’s friend Tasha had written not only the lead article but another as well, and I found myself smiling as I thought about their friendship. The second article was about a community memorial service planned at a cemetery in that area. It reminded me that Pete and I had been invited to a similar service here in Myrtle Beach just months after Mandy’s passing. We tried to attend the service, but as we neared the cemetery we opted to drive by when we realized we just weren’t ready for an experience like that. And that memory brought tears to my eyes.
There’s a metal badge from a Chevrolet dealership in Maryland that Mandy gave to Pete one Christmas because the dealership was owned by another family who just happened to share the name Criswell. I recalled how she told us about googling that dealership and searching to find a badge that she could purchase. I smiled as I remembered how Mandy always gave unique gifts that were perfectly suited for the recipient, and I chuckled as I remembered how she kept an album that included photos from her crazy Google searches.
High on the wall there’s a fanciful, colorful depiction of her name that I think Mandy bought on vacation one year. It’s a perfect banner to display above some of her possessions because it’s a reminder of her bright, cheerful personality. Looking over it, I couldn’t help but smile.
Finally, near the ceiling there’s the hat that Mandy is wearing in a couple of the photos I’ve shared. It was a part of her farm girl outfit that she put together to wear to the Aynor Hoedown one year. She wore it again when she made her own tractor to complete the costume for a party. I let the boots go early on, but held onto the dress until just a year or two ago when we gave it away with the hope that another fun-loving young woman would be happy to own it. But the hat will remain on that wall, a loving reminder of a beautiful young woman who loved having fun. And by then I was smiling through tears.
I understand that letting go of a loved one’s possessions is a part of the grieving process. I am aware that some people dispose of their loved one’s belongings immediately while others hold on to everything. I can only say that this is the process that works for me. I’m happy with the daily reminders of our daughter, and I’m okay with the smiles and the tears I experience on occasion because they are brought on by the thoughts and memories of Mandy that flood my mind. In my heart I know that although I continue to say farewell to Mandy’s material possessions, I will never let go of the love we shared.
