09/01/2026
Here are your responsibilities in my home,” her mother-in-law said, handing her a sheet of paper. Dasha smirked and pulled out her own.
The suitcase was still standing in the hallway, full of sand and sunshine. Dasha was emptying the side pocket, pulling out tickets, a pyramid-shaped fridge magnet, and a dried starfish. Her tan covered her shoulders like a fine layer of golden dust, making happiness seem almost tangible, as if it were something you could reach out and touch.
“You know, I never did manage to get a decent picture of you by the Sphinx,” Dmitry said. He was sitting on the floor, unpacking the second bag. “Someone was always walking into the frame.”
“But you managed to photograph that camel six times. The camel was charismatic, sure, but you didn’t marry him.”
“I reserve the right to reconsider.”
“Fine. Just don’t bring the camel into the apartment. We’ve only just finished renovating.”
The doorbell rang.
It was Roman, Dasha’s father—a tall man with gray stubble and the same old backpack he always carried. He came inside, placed a bag of apricots on the cabinet, then silently set a bunch of keys beside it.
Dasha looked at the keys, then at him.
“Dad, what’s this?”
“The apartment. Mine. Now it’s yours,” he said with a shrug, as casually as if he were giving her an umbrella. “I’ve been living at the country house since April. I’ve got fresh air there, my garden beds, and the radio.”
“Dad, do you realize how expensive a gift this is?”
“I realize that fifteen years ago I walked away and became less of a father and more of a birthday card,” he said evenly. “You can’t make up for that with money. But I can at least put a roof over your heads. Live here. Stop paying rent. Breathe a little.”
Dasha hugged him so tightly his bones nearly cracked.
Dmitry shook Roman’s hand with both of his, holding on for a long time and repeating, “Thank you, Roman Ilyich. Thank you.”
The apricots smelled like summer, the keys jingled softly on the cabinet, and it became one of those days people later remembered as a dividing line—the moment life changed.
That evening, Dmitry’s mother, Nina, called.
Dmitry answered and stepped toward the balcony. For nearly twenty minutes, he murmured agreement into the phone, turning from one side to the other.
Dasha caught fragments of the conversation.
“Yes… yes, we’re back… yes, we got a tan… no, we didn’t get burned… yes, I’ll tell her.”
“Tell me what?” Dasha asked when he finally hung up.
“She said she prepared a list for you.”
“A list of what? Tourist attractions? I’ve already seen enough of those.”
“I have no idea,” Dmitry laughed. “I even asked her twice. She just said, ‘You’ll find out on Saturday.’ Maybe it’s recipes. Maybe TV shows.”
“Perfect. Then I’ll ask my mother to make a list for her son-in-law. That way we’ll have symmetry and some healthy competition.”
“Deal. Make sure there’s a rule saying, ‘Carry your wife in your arms every Tuesday.’”
“Tuesdays and leap years only. Don’t push your luck.”
They laughed.
And it really was funny.
Right up until it wasn’t.
Two days later, Dmitry’s sister Kira stopped by with her husband, Artyom.
They brought a melon the size of a motorcycle helmet and a box full of seashells.
“Since you already brought the sea home with you, we thought you could use some more.”
Dasha set out plates while Artyom sliced the melon and told them about a pigeon that had recently taken over their balcony and apparently had a very strong personality.
“So,” Kira said with a wink. “Are you ready? Mom has a surprise for you.”
“The list?” Dasha asked.
Kira blinked.
The knife in Artyom’s hand froze above the melon.
“You already know?” Kira asked, staring at her brother in confusion. “Who told you?”
“Dima did. And apparently you know about it too.”
“Well… yes. Mom read some of it to me.”
“Some of it? How many items are we talking about?”
“Dasha, come on,” Kira said nervously, suddenly becoming very interested in moving the salt shaker. “It’s just… you know, so everyone understands everything. So there won’t be any hurt feelings later.”
“I love it when hurt feelings are scheduled in advance. Very efficient.”
Artyom cleared his throat and devoted all his attention to the melon.
Kira forced a smile and quickly changed the subject back to the pigeon.
Dmitry sat there looking like a man who had walked into a movie theater halfway through the film and had absolutely no idea what was happening.
After the guests left, Dasha stood in front of her husband and locked eyes with him.
“Dima. What is this list?”
“I don’t know. Honestly.”
“Your sister knows. Your brother-in-law clearly knows, judging by his face. The only person who doesn’t know is me—the person the list was written for. Doesn’t that arithmetic seem a little strange to you?”
“She’ll explain when we go over there,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Dasha, don’t work yourself up. You know what she’s like. She loves making things official. Even her grocery lists have titles.”
“A title is fine. As long as it doesn’t come with subheadings.”
The next day, Dasha was sitting at her friend Zhenya’s place.
Zhenya was spreading samples across the floor for her workshop. She made models of underwater caves for aquariums—a strange but beautiful line of work—and listened with her cheek resting on one hand.
“Okay, let me get this straight. A list. For you. Written by her. And everyone has seen it except you.”
“Everyone. I think even the melon knew about it.”
“Girl, that’s not a list. That’s a constitution.”
Zhenya sat up straight and raised one finger.
“Rule number one: clean her apartment every Saturday. Full wet cleaning, including the windows.”
“Zhenya.”
“Rule number two: deep cleaning once a month. Rule number three: grandchildren according to schedule. First baby in a year, second in three years, preferably a boy because the family name has to continue.”
“Zhenya!”
“Rule number four: the family fund. Everyone contributes money for family needs. She decides what counts as a family need, and she keeps the money herself.”
Zhenya took a sip from her water bottle and looked at her friend.
“Rule number five: a verbal report on all spending, supported by receipts…”
The rest is just below in the first comment.