The Clairvoyant Times

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The Clairvoyant Times

The Clairvoyant Times News from the future -- before it's even new

Founded in 2079 by the enigmatic yet truth-seeking and time-traveling clairvoyant San Sveritas, The Clairvoyant Times utilizes supernatural awesomeness to achieve unmatched journalistic excellence.

Mission: It is our goal to expose the truth before it becomes true. We strive to inform you of all the important issues prior to occurrence, and to empower you to buy stuff before you really need it.

Sitting at his walnut and mahogany desk overlooking palm trees and an azure lagoon, Ray Crock III thumbs open a small c...

08/27/2011

The Clairvoyant Times: Is McDonald’s new flavored air beverage, McAir, full of gas? Or is it the win

Sitting at his walnut and mahogany desk overlooking palm trees and an azure lagoon, Ray Crock III thumbs open a small canister and instantly inhales deep. He sucks in three or four more breaths before pausing, eyes closed, and allowing a wide smile to spread across his well-tanned face.

Coca-cola flipped the marketing world upside down once again, this time by publicly trashing Dasani, the bottled water d...

07/30/2011

The Clairvoyant Times: Coca-cola declares war on itself using ‘elephonkey’ method

Coca-cola flipped the marketing world upside down once again, this time by publicly trashing Dasani, the bottled water division of the Coke empire.

07/30/2011

The Clairvoyant Times: White people leave United States in droves: A Clairvoyant Times exclusive (as

Caucasians have left the building... and the country. A 400-year reign has ended for white people after recent census numbers revealed that Hispanics are now the majority ethnic group in the United States. Celebrations across the country juxtaposed the somber mood on Wall Street and throughout the m...

07/30/2011

The Clairvoyant Times: Walmart Launches Nuclear Reactor Sales At Consumers

FROM THE FUTURE: Nov. 12, 2029. Walmart announced today that it will begin marketing plans for the YouNuke, a consumer friendly nuclear reactor that enables families to generate their own nuclear waste, with electricity as an added benefit.

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