07/12/2024
Tonight, my oldest son, who’s been with us for 2.5 years, sat down at the table with a packet of uncooked Ramen noodles. He was ready to dig in when I stopped him and asked what he was doing.
"I made myself dinner," he said simply.
“But…it’s not even cooked,” I told him. “I can make that for you.”
He looked at me and explained, “I used to eat it like this a lot with my old family.” That’s when I sat down, and he started sharing his story with me.
He recalled how, at just 6 years old, he would often have to make dinner for himself and his younger siblings. The adults would be passed out, their money spent on ci******es and “fun things,” so he would scrape together loose change from the car and buy Ramen from a store down the street. He didn’t know how to boil water, so he learned to eat it dry—and even grew to like it. He would break it up for his little siblings and attempt to make bottles for the baby…at only six years old.
I asked him to make me some, too. We sat there together, crunching down on raw noodles, as he remembered how he wouldn’t eat Ramen the first time I made it for him. "It reminded me of my old Ramen packets,” he said, “and I didn’t trust you.” Big thoughts for a kid only nine years old.
He went on to say he’s not sad about not being with his “old family” anymore, but that sometimes he likes to remember how strong he had to be. I walked away that night feeling a mix of shock, sadness, and overwhelming pride in the strength of my incredible boy. He is resilient, wonderful, and loved so, so much.
Friends, this is the reality for kids who come from tough places. Trauma isn’t a single event; it’s a survival mode that becomes part of their everyday life. It weaves itself into their memories, bodies, and minds, and it’s not something that just “heals” or “goes away” with time.
For those of us lucky enough to welcome these kids into our lives, we have to be willing to sit down, eat uncooked Ramen noodles, and listen. We mustn’t give up on them, because they’ve already shown more strength than many of us could imagine. Our kids didn’t give up, and neither should we. 💛
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