01/31/2025
Happy Birthday to me!
Usual yearly post.
But this time it’s different…
Before, I used to prepare for my birthday, gathering friends, gifts, flowers… but not anymore. However, I’m deeply grateful to everyone who remembered me and took the time to congratulate me, without any reminders or stories. Each of you knows exactly who I’m talking about. Some reached out here, others in different messengers. Social media isn’t really my thing—maybe I’m just not good at it—but I always say my account is more like a page with my thoughts, like a diary.
Yesterday was my birthday, hello 34! No hiding, it wasn’t joyful. I fell sadness and wanted to cry, for some reason each birthday I want to cry.
But I’m leaving these feelings here, as a reminder of this chapter. People always share positivity and successes, but rarely the hard times. Someone might say, “You’re healthy, alive, living in a great city, surrounded by wonderful people—what could be wrong?” But sometimes, our mind just burns out, and we can’t see a way forward.We only see curated, picture-perfect lives online and assume people are living their best moments. Maybe for some that’s true, but for others, it’s not. Few stop to ask, “Is everything really okay?” Empathy is something we’ve lost in this world.For me personally, these 10 years of immigration have been incredibly difficult— three times lost documents , greedy unfaithful lawyers, humans betrayals, failed relationships, childhood traumas, war, the inability to smell the scent of my apartment in Crimea… All of this pushed me into a dark place, where I couldn’t find light or motivation. A place where I realized I needed professional help to get through it.There’s always shame in talking about failures, depression. I feel that too. But I want to leave this here so I can one day look back, remember what I went through, and breathe a sigh of relief, realize how far I’ve come.
👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻
