09/08/2026
10,000 years of finding new ways to charge for flour.
10,000 bc — flatbread
flour + water + fire. humanity discovers carbs.
3000 bc — leavened bread
egyptians make bread rise., but delicious.
ancient rome — bakeries
bread becomes a business. capitalism finds carbs.
1800s — industrial bread
machines make bread.
grandma: “it doesn’t taste right.”
1928 — sliced bread
bread gets pre-sliced. humanity peaks.
1950s — white bread
soft. fluffy. basically an edible mattress.
1980s — whole wheat
bread turns brown and develops a superiority complex.
2000s — artisan bread
same flour. rougher crust. $9.
2010s — gluten-free
gluten gets fired from its own industry.
2020s — sourdough
everyone keeps fermented flour alive.
houseplants: “interesting.”
today — protein bread
bread gets protein, seeds and a gym membership.
the future 🚀
one loaf: $47 or four easy payments.