03/11/2026
Apa Kalay?
We truly live in a bruised society, a deeply bruised one, where being a girl or a woman alone is enough for people to judge, shame, and tear you apart. The moment a story appears about a baby being abandoned, everyone suddenly finds the courage to speak, to criticize, to curse, and to label someone heartless. But very few people stop for even a moment to understand the pain, fear, and confusion behind that story.
It is strange how easily we involve ourselves in someone else’s tragedy. A baby found abandoned becomes public discussion, gossip, headlines, and social media outrage. Yet we rarely ask ourselves whether it is truly our place to intrude into someone else’s most painful moment. Sometimes what we see is not cruelty, but desperation. Sometimes what we call heartlessness is actually fear, isolation, and a lack of support.
The truth is that many of our young people, especially young girls, grow up without enough guidance on relationships, sexual responsibility, emotional consequences, and life choices. Apart from occasional sessions by organizations like RENEW, NCWC, or a school counsellor, there are very few open and honest conversations about these realities. Many young girls are left to learn about these things alone, through confusion, mistakes, and silence.
And then when something goes wrong, society suddenly appears. Not with understanding, but with blame.
What hurt the most in this situation was seeing how quickly everyone pointed their fingers at one young girl. An 18-year-old who is still figuring out life, still learning about the world, suddenly becomes the center of public anger. People call her heartless. People question her character. People tear her apart without even knowing her story. Instead of compassion, she is met with cruelty. Instead of support, she faces endless judgment.
But ask yourself this: does adding more shame to someone who is already scared, already broken, already overwhelmed make the situation any better?
And there is one question that almost nobody seems willing to ask.
Where is the father?
Why is no one talking about the man who is equally responsible for this child? Why does society so easily ignore his role in all of this? A child does not appear because of one person alone. Yet the moment something goes wrong, all the blame falls on the young mother while the father disappears from the conversation as if he never existed.
This is the painful truth about the kind of society we live in. A father who walks away is rarely questioned, rarely shamed, rarely cursed. Meanwhile the mother carries the entire weight of judgment, criticism, and blame.
This is not about supporting abandonment. This is not about encouraging wrong choices. No innocent child deserves to be left behind. But what we need to acknowledge is the imbalance in how we respond to these situations.
When a young woman makes a mistake, she is condemned by society. But when a man walks away from his responsibility, people stay silent.
That silence is exactly what makes our society so bruised.
Instead of rushing to condemn, maybe we should ask deeper questions. Maybe we should focus on better education, stronger support systems, and a culture where young people are guided rather than shamed. Maybe we should create a space where mistakes are addressed with accountability but also with humanity.
Because blaming one person while ignoring the other will never solve the problem.
It only shows how deeply bruised we really are.
